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Friday, July 25, 2014

am i not a person to my family?

Mom wants my computer in my room. I'm still scaredd of losing all computer access if the kidpr0n maker gets allowed to live at my house. Mom claims it's not likely cuz aunt snooty was apparently disqualified after the judge saw her treating me badly. I still ddont get why snooty's house, which is twice the size of mine, isn't even being offerred. It's like aunt snooty has decided thaat she must never be inconvenienced. Everyone else must take the burdens while she just makes herself look good. If computers are so unnecessary then why won't she give hers up?
Anyway, so last night I started moving the computer up. It was heavy & difficult to move that thing up stairs. And dusty to dig out the wires. My nose itches so damn much I nearly wet myself from all the sneezing. Even the rroof of my mouth itches. But the computeer tower is up and fortunately I could use the monitor. And keyboard and mouse from the old 18gb computer wwhich no longerexists. So now I just have to move up the monster sound system. 4 speakers and a subwoofer. Ugh. If pr0nuncle does move in someone else is moving this stuff to mom's office.
Oh and guess what else? Mom has invited ex-stepdad over for dinner. Yea the same guy who would yell about how I was good for nothing except sex..I have nightmares about this guy where I'm naked in a bed next to him and I ccant move. And now Bro tells me he remembers walking in on stepdad & me in stepdad's bed and Bro was mad about it when it happened. And back during thansgiving & mas know what stepdad said. To me? "I'm going to hug you and there's nothing you ccan do about it" what sort of person makes a "joke" like that ?!? What if my swiss cheese memory. Is a coping mechanism?
I swear ever since this pr0nuncle shit started I've been getting treated less and less as a human with feelings.
And he just arrived. And was banging on the door no less with Mom doing her sickeningly-sweet "come in" like 8 fucking times while he was still banging away. Wish I had a lock on my door. Closest I have is one of those chaain slider things that a now ex-girlfriend installed but since my door hinges are outside my room the chain slider it really just a warning that someone is coming in.