period-brain sucks

R says the girl with depression got back together with her ex, so I'm still loveless. Tho I can drool over Ronson without guilt, so yay for that.
Dumbass/Princess Nepotism is taking yet another vacation. I swear it's like her 3rd one. How the hell does she have that many vacation hours? Her daddy is a manager at Presumptions R Us so maybe it's blatant favoritism?
Damn monthlies started. I slept all damn day Friday to where Mom was like "are you alive up there?" But sleeping through the worst of the cramping was nice. So I feel drained as usual. Between womanlies and work my brain is not functioning well. I even forgot my cellphone. I left it in my pyjama pants so I had no phone during work.
And the damn period-brain struck again with a homeless lip balm like thing that I couldn't find where it went and I had to put other stuff away so it went in my apron and then I forgot it. Oops. It has no home tho and now that it's here I feel bad for the thing (it's just a lip balm... it doesn't have feelings, Honor....) cuz work will just throw it away and and I want to keep it. Ugh.
Damn near took the work keys home too. Luckily I have one of those security tags on the work keys so when I beeped everyone laughed at me & I remembered to put the keys back.
Stupid period-brain.
I got my non-glitchy old Zelda cartoons running on repeat cuz they relax me a bit. I still haven't written or drawn anything new. I have been stuffing my face with Cheetos and my biggest weakness: Reeses Chips Ahoy. They are chocolate chip cookies with mini Reeses peanut butter cups in them in addition to the chocolate chips. Sinful sinful yum.
Am also trying to pay my cellphone bill on my phone but it keeps sayins my credit card is expires and when I try to update my card it says "cannot process request. Try again later"
Sigh.

I got stuck working 7 days in a row, then my 1 day off I dogsat for daddie dearest, then another 4 days. So yesterday & today are my 2 days off (when did I become fulltime? This sucks!) So ofc I slept all day yesterday, played Sims all night, and here I am still awake. I have done nothing worthwile thus far. No drawing or writing or music. Bad me. And right now I need sleep. I miss having recharge time. It is hard to be creative when I feel drained. But I'm going to have to find a way. Because what if work doesn't go back? I can't spend half my time off playing Sims! And work's pressure is only going to get worse, even if I do go back to part time. Now that the total sales at makeup counter are up, they're pushing to get a higher percentage of makeup/skincare/hair type items. In addition to the high totals. Sigh. I am actually being told to look at people with dollar signs in my eyes.
I have got to get out of there....
it is better to be poor and enjoy my work.
So I must somehow find a way to be creative and inspired even when drained from work.
*sigh*

attempting an experiment...

I just made a test youtube video and i'm trying to figure out how to upload it.
Please note the test vid is crap. i pulled my long-suffering viola out and played a few bits without practice, by ear. Also if the volume is up you might hear my cat whining in the beginning. i dunno. i heard it when for some reason the volume was uber-high when i first threw the wav file into Movie Maker. i made some fast MSPaint bitmaps to just throw into Movie Maker.
And somehow the last 3 seconds of the wav file got cut off. no idea how that happened.

Hmm... apparently Youtube has video editors? or something? I have no clue what I'm looking at.
Ok.. there's the "drag and drop" upload thingy...
ok it says it's uploaded.
pick a title.. and a pic to represent my sad little test in search results...

Ok.. apparently there's a review process or something?

they're telling me my vid will be live at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqNLAz-BUY4 when it is ready to be watched.
I am amused at the BUY4 that is in the address. There's nothing to buy here.. but plenty to laugh at!

"We have detected a way to improve your video's cropping."
That doesn't surprise me.
I don't know what I'm looking at.. so when in doubt "Revert to original"
I mean.. i intended it to go up as is cuz i don't understand the online editors and i've heard that online-edited vids will get changed sometimes if youtube coding changes. So in theory staying as close to the original "raw file" as possible will keep it as intact as possible.
In theory...

so yea... ok

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqNLAz-BUY4

that's supposed to be the test vid's location. Let me know if it shows up.. if you can hear it... basically if it works. I swear the volume is crazy. It was insanly loud when i put it into movie Maker, but soft when i played it on Media player. And my youtube preview had it at half volume. So i don't know what's going on.

And i'll worry about adsense for youtube some other time. Current goal is to figure out how to post.

testing continues

And I have been very bad girl and stayed up all night again. Why didn't I post from computer? Moron... anyway I was looking for an audio extractor that could turn my keychain camera's avi into a wav or mp3. I found one, a freebie (thus far no catches) called Pazera and it worked on the internet computer. Now I gotta install it on my bedroom computer. But I'm sooooo tired.... I want to sleep. Gotta at least stay up until my laundry is in the dryer tho. Much as I love hanging laundry outside, we got thunderstorms forcast and no way am I gonna be awake to pull the clothes in.
Grrrr... I gotta find that adhesive drawer liner paper. My white t-shirts are all yellow on one side!
Heehee.... while looking up the weather forcast I saw a link for old fashioned swinsuit pics and even farther back.... the "bathing machine" heehee! I'm so glad I didn't live in those times. But I still like the clothes.

I collapsed at work today. It's been several years since my period suunk my blood sugar that fast but it did happen a lot when I was younger. Of course it didn't help that this bigass black dude came out of nowhere, cut in line just to tell me i'd disrespected his mom or something and that if I "ddidnt learn some respect" then "next time he wouldn't be so nice". That's exactly how he said it too. That he wouldn't be so nice next time. How is that not a threat? I don't know where he came from. He didn't check out in my line. So he scared the crap out of me & left me shaking & combine that with already being sick with some damn womanlies issue... I shook like I had Parkinsons and my legs went out. The Team Lead practically had to carry me to the office. Team Lead is a really nice guy. He bought me a water & a snickers & let me sit in there til my hands stopped convulsing. I couldn't control my arms for a bit and I was very dizzy. But at least the bully was gone went I came back out.

I'm kinda embarassed about it now. But I was ok the rest of the night. I hope I can recognize the bully if he comes in again. I want to avoid him.

WHOA!

So I transferred some of the keychain cam's videos to the bigger computer to experiment with sound editing and holy crap.. i have video! it's grainy video that is slow to focus... but it is video, it is in color, and it does auto-focus. i guess my ancient 18GB computer just can't process something that the bigger computer can.
*sigh*
moving on.. since i'm on the computer i'm off to youtube to show you my fave Superwoman videos.. cuz SHE ROCKS.. and i saw the little rainbow heart youtube put in their banner. Awwww!!

moving on....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklGfqDXgVs
the people are Gay video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rX5PsXf2Gw
All ages parties (so funny!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7o4uDXft_pU
How girls get ready (which i am sooo not guilty of.. ahem)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2VhqjVkL-0
Girls on Periods

i started my period today @#$^$#%^$#%^@#$%@#$!!!!!

i hate this!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdJyRo8_VGU
Why I can't sleep at night (lol)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRFbtcXBd0A
Difference between brown girls and white girls
"Hold my bindi!"

And i got a lineup here... youtube automatically linked a playlist when i checked out her latest vid direct from her channel. Coolness. Looks like I'm busy for the next several hours ^_^
And maybe i'll find the video that i remember where she says "yes, Jessica lives in my boobs."
And wow i'm seeing old favs again.. ..and on and on......

And I'm remembering how much i hate the talky ads. They are so much louder than the videos!!!

In other news.. Ana Regzig posted again!! WOOHOOO!! She's been put back on the Juice Feast by her trainer, and she's pointing out how clearly her job is going against what the "doctors" told her to do again. And she'll let them duke it out while she sits in the corner and grins. 2 weeks food-free. Wow. And i've got blood gushing out of me and i'm in pain and i seriously want chocolate. Maybe i could do one week, next week? I'd still do my protein shakes ofc, but one week doesn't do much damage. I've had horrid stomach illnesses for that long. I just really like the idea of being part of a group thing that she does. And just like Howard Wolowitz once said about his mom doing a hunger strike..... it's be months before I was in any danger. I dunno.
I think i'm just so damn unhappy in that awful job that I'm looking for an outlet. And my brain isn't wanting to do anything that requires being coherent. At least the Motrin kicked in so i'm not bent over double. No, now I'm just tired, brain-fried, and really not wanting to work tomorrow. My limbs have turned to lead.

Ok... i did do 2 actual things today... I renewed my Lucky subscription.... and I found and downloaded the free editors Wavosaur and Audacity. So yay there.

Good night.

stressed!!

I am so sick of that damn job! They are moving me up front one day a week. I'm so unhappy! And I'm unhappy for the same reason as always..... employer is focused on the wrong thing. All they care about is how much total dollars I ring at cos register. I could ring a few gift cards and they'd be happy. And that has me unhappy because I'm not being recognized for my talents and strengths. I suck at doing my own makeup, mainly because so much has to be done without my glasses and I just can't see. I can give myself a pretty china doll mouth but I suck at everything else. But I'm good at making others look good. And I like to make others look good. It makes such a huge difference when a woman likes what she sees in the mirror. At least we here all understand this, but I don't think employer does. Presumptions R Us sucks sweaty monkey ass.

My other stress is once again I'm having technical difficulties on the music making front. I figured out how to use my keychain camera.... but movie maker won't let me combine 2 sound files into one. That's a problem. I wanted to record myself playing the melody, then record playing the harmony, and then combine those 2 tracks into one. Movie maker says "no!" So I'm needing a sound editor. Talked to Bro. He says I could use his copy of Soundforge. We also talked about some of the free editors I Googled, specifically Wavosaur and Audacity. He's heard great things about Audacity, but Wavosaur was unfamiliar. I'm really attracted to Wavosaur simply because the reviews I found said Wavosaur was tiny, less than 500KB. So I could run it on my bedroom comp. I'd so love to be able to do as much arranging as possible on my bedroom comp. I get more privacy and don't have to fuss with headphones.. although now I think of it, I will need headphones while recording cuz my timing would be best if I could play the harmony while listening to the melody track. This could be a problem. My ancient bedroom computer doesn't have a headphone jack. Crap. Cuz only my room can be made a cat-free zone and my kitties tend to be noisy. So recording in here is the best location in my house. *sigh* so tests & research is ongoing I guess.

Strong chance I could get called in to work today. Fatass keeps calling off. She has called off for at least half of her workweek for 3 weeks solid. Sometimes she calls off every day. And it is *beyond* frustrating. I spent all Sunday at the front register cuz fatass called off. So ofc my cos sales were shit. I wonder if those damn reports even show when I'm stuck up front? Probably not. Those fucktards expect me to do the work of 5 people. I should totally be capable of replacing an entire staff. Assholes. And double asshole on fatass. She keeping complaining of arthritis in her knees and she just wants to sit in the office for her entire shift. Ok, so yours truly is about 190lbs right now. Fatass is twice as wide as me, and like 2 inches shorter. She's like Violet Beauregarde (did I spell that last name right?) After Violet blew up in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Fatass is all fat. Gee, I wonder why she has knee trouble? And now she's bitching about how she doesn't have all the paid time off she "needs" and is saying she'll work and then she calls off after saying she'd work. It's just.... damn it , bitch, take a few weeks off to get it together. Stop punnishing the rest of the store.
I should try to sleep. I hope I don't get called in, but I probably will. 3 weeks of calling off should have some sort of repercussion.