finally gone

But ny sheer luck. Jailbird's sentencing had been delayed and he would have been here at least another 2 weeks. At least! But somehow he got a surprise compliance visit for the first time in..... ever? And he was caught outside on his laptop. So they took him in. I am so happy. I was seriously losing it, even drifting back to certain behaviors that ofc no one noticed because most of the food was reserved for him. It's so nice to not have to ask permission to eat! He's only been gone 2 days (today being the 2nd day) and house feels like home again. I gotta seriously scrub my floor tho.... my bathroom is a wreck. I stopped cleaning when he started getting online up there in hopes he'd go somewhere else. It mostly worked.. problem is I don't like it up there either.

Am trying to go back to school. I had to fill out a new type of form tho and had no guidance on how to do it. I have to beg for fin aid aagain. Gov says I got it but school says I don't deserve it. Even tho I've been repaying loan since 2008. Form said missing documentation means automatic denial but I don't know what docs would be needed. I didn't experience anything in their list. And if a uni refuses fed loans does that mean they'd refuse all loans? I dropped the double major in phil and rel studies, so now I'm just rel studies. And my gpa is .007 below what I need. Sigh.

anyway... hi :)

i'm afraid to hope...

just got a text that jailbird signed a plea bargain? i sure hope so! not like my Mom, sweetheart that she is, has much understanding of these things. She's all heart and very little brain.

but if it is true... he won't get sentenced until the end of july? wtf is this?!!?!? sure he signed it? is this normal??

HE IS GUILTY DAMN IT ALL!!!!

ok look... i've been cleaning out this ancient computer to try to make it work better, find shit he put here and try to get rid of it... and hidden deep in the VLC folder was a movie file from 2010... and it is 58 minutes of a naked 9yr old going through various poses to some music. she's clearly being talked to, but of course the audio was stripped befor the music was added. (am i supposed to be relieved that it's "just" a series of poses? that it could be worse? SHE IS A KID!!!)

guess who was on this computer regularly back in 2010?
yuuuuupppp... he's the one who put the VLC program on here too, although I do like VLC.

and what's more, the child movie file does NOT play on VLC.... yet there it is in the folder. the file actually plays on standard Windows Media Player. and the filename is, and i quote, shit. it is shit.mov and it doesn't play on my VLC.

i ALSO found out that he had set up a Remote Desktop thingy, so when he lived w us in 2010 and had his own computer he was still accessing mine (and technically mine was the family computer back then)

thus far cleanup hasn't crashed anything.... although computer is not going much faster. apparently one of my RAM sticks has just never worked. i'm supposed to have 1GB RAM and for some reason only 512MB is functional. Bro found that out when he opened the case "oh hey there's a second stick of RAM in here wtf?"

so i guess i'm just venting that the BEST case scenario has me stuck in this no-computer-at-home position until august.

meanwhile i continue to try to find a way to take an actual video. the antivirus kept blocking a new pazera freebie, and i've used other pazera products and have had only good things and can't figure how to tell the antivirus that this site is ok. so i had to use my phone to get the program. *sigh* and me without my usb adaptors so yeaaa...

not much else doing..... i'm determined to not get a job until he is moved out. i can't even go back to school very easily because so much is online. it's really pissing me off and i do not want the added stress of a job. my main stress relief is computer games!!!
but i've done the math and my savings will only carry me through to May...which for some reason is exciting as well as scary as hell? like a challenger approaches! see if i can somehow pull this off.

another huge annoyance is how much trouble i'm having trying to get out of a gym membership that i haven't used in over a year anyway. the credit card info was changed on them and they called the credit card company up instead of me, and got the new number and are charging me again!

can credit cards even do that??? can they give my acct info out without my permission?? i mean i talked to the card people and told them don't give my new number to the gym!! and they did!! and they said that there was no way for them to cancel a previously made arrangement!! wtf!?!? so now i gotta do two things... 1 GET EVIDENCE of my trying to cancel (i was sure i cancelled but mayyybe i didn't? well this time i gotta be sure and be able to prove it. because this gym has a history of "losing" cancellation requests and they have reports of refusing to let people cancel unless they prove they moved out of town) and 2 also yell at that credit card because really wtf.

i had forgotten how annoying Presumptions R Us is!!

WTF why is their Contact Us page so messed up?? Why do I HAVE to "choose a store" when I have my receipt number??!?!? Especially since the damn script is BROKEN!!! The Contact us page for ANYTHING regarding the rewards points thing is basically down, because it won't submit unless a store is chosen, and the script to finish selecting a store is broken.

And I am VERY pissed because I went through all the bother to put one of those damn digital coupons on my loyalty card and it didn't work last night. the FAQs say points offers (it was a digital points offer type thing) can be used WITH the coupons and discounts, and those damn monthly savings books are part of the weekly ad's sale price soooo logically i can get the sale price (which by their own insistence includes the damn monthly) AND the points offer. But it didn't work. I used the paper monthly "coupon" (read: sale price cuz they are assholes) and the points'pon didn't register.

And there is f*ckall I can do about it. Because i am not spending half an hour on hold with an aging battery.

in other news... church custodian is friends with the business that jailbird was stealing his wifi from.. and they didn't like a pedo stealing their badwidth so whatever they did seems to have worked. he's not spending hours up in my bathroom. I'm to keep an eye out though. Ofc i didn't tell Mom or jailbird that i mentioned this to people. We're all keeping our efforts kinda hush hush. Custodian also made me a copy of the key that gives access to the ethernet cables themselves so i can unplug the entire office if i think i need to, and then plug it back in later.

i am still taking my power cord with me. i am also still trying to find a way to use my phone to take any sort of video. apparently the record can be the no-sound variety which yay less space... but doesn't work in the one editor my old computer has. so now i'm trying to find a 3gp to avi converter. google says Pazera makes one.. and Pazera is what i use to rip the audio off 3gp now.. so i have a 3gp to mp3 but the pazera i have doesn't convert video types? or do i use a web-based converter? so i don't download any new programs? i dunno... i've been up since 3am and i am damn tired to the point i was crying with frustration at presumptions r us' website. i was hoping to take a vid of the f*ckedupness and post that but nooooo...

and maybe hairdo vids, because quite a few LHCers will do silent hairdo vids where they do their hair with their backs to the camera and there's no sound. They don't show their faces.

altho to be fair what i SHOULD be doing is writing up that lil report on Book of Ruth so I can record my voiceover, rip the sound, and line up the slideshow. but my brain is all "uuuhhhhh" and i'm on 200mgs of caffeine right now because hi getting up at 3am! and only had 2hrs of sleep last night to boot! cuz it's Lent so i'm up late Weds night and getting up early thurs morning... uuuhh and i know 200mgs isn't much but given that i normally have NONE at all it's a change.

and for some reason the ring and pinky fingers of my left hand are all weird. like tight somehow, like something in there is pinched and i can't get it out. i still have feeling, and i am typing with both hands. everything moves. but it's like something got wrenched and it is not comfy. a similar pain is on my right arm, like inside the elbow, tho the left fingers are definitely worse. what the hell did i do to myself last night? because i was fine yesterday.

ok this may be the dumb thing... but my ancient computer is SOOOO SLOOOOW that i am following internet directions on how to delete old profiles/user accounts. thus far it's all just simple official Windows paths types stuff... no command prompts or booting in Safe Mode... tho i'm not sure why the file folders for those old accounts are still here.... but i'm hoping to dump the big one... jailbird's account. the account he probably used to get on MY computer without my knowledge. damn thing is he can still hack in, i don't know enough... but i'm hoping between deleting old user profile (assuming it doesn't mess everything up) and taking the power cord will be enough to keep him off.

besides i need the space. getting rid of all his sh*t would get me at least 8GB back.

but ugh... my fear is that the way he installed sh*t deleting his stuff might mess something up. everything i'm doing i'm doing the official way cuz i don't know any other way. and he does. and it sucks. but church custodian knows what's up.. he even saw how i take the power cord... so here's hoping.

and all this shit has got me thinking that my best bet, i guess, would be to have my big computer that i write on etc.. and then have a separate one for internet. like the desktop never gets connected, and it's all laptop kinda thing. i'd have to transfer shit with flash drives but at least the computer with all my writing on it would not be harmed so easy.

ok i'm firing up my phone again to take video of each step just in case it all goes to hell i have something to show Bro to help him figure out how to rescue everything.

oh btw

That sweet dog that was kept caged all the time? I told my half-sis and sent videos and he had a new home two weeks later. Because she's in the rich end of town where all the connections are ;)
I haven't seem the puppy since that day tho. She's a huge dog lover so I'm assuming that her approval means he's in a great house and family.

still here.. and so is he >:(

It's march and the damn jailbird is still here. What's worse... at some point he got his own laptop. I thought it was mom's since she quickly began ignoring the rules and bringing hers home. But nope, he definitely has his own, because sometime in feb he found he could get on a local business' wifi. A shop nearby has an unlocked wifi signal. When the hell did jailbird get his own laptop? And the only spot that wifi is reachable... is in *my* bathroom. He sits on my toilet tank and shoves everything back on my top shelf and puts his laptop there. So the very jerk who is the reason I can't have my computer in my room, is able to get online more often than I can.
and if I tell, I might be homeless. Because I don't know what will trigger the seizure of the house. I do know aunt asshole/auntbitch/mrs snooty would call for mom to kick me out,at the very least. And auntbbitch was in on it too, because even tho she is not a legal guardian, she will come over and pretend to be Mom if the feds call.

I quit Presumptions R Us shortly before Christmas. They had me scheduled 3 to10pm for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. The incompetent fatass got promoted again, and was back to her old tricks of claiming credit for my work and blaming me for stuff she got wrong. Add on asshole customers harassing and outright threatening me and I just had enough.
it was me first Christmas Day off in 5 years.
I have not been back to that store since my last day. No idea about W2.
I am living off my savings right now. Dropping out of school did have the side effect of keeping more money. I had hoped to get the youtube up and running. I turned ads on already. But with no computer in house + horrid winter weather complete with level 3 snow emergencies, I haven't done much.
I do need some income tho. Student loan repay is just under $300/month. And there's gas and car upkeep and while Mom tries to give me money her own income took a hit and feeding jailbird means her costs went up too. I am not expected tto give her money. I do not support him that way. Sometimes I'm stuck driving him to/from church (again no legal guardian present) but that's it.
but a girl does needs pads, chocolate, and motrin, ya know? And I did find a bridesmaid dress for $30 but since quitting job I've lost weight without noticing, just cuz I used to buy junk food every workday. And obviously I don't anymore.
so that's my update. When snowed in I basically watch youtube on my phone, since my ancient phone can't handle much else. I've also tried to keep my feet up. All those years in retail + my pale skin means I got veins behind my knees. Maybe I could wear leggings for the wedding.....

wow it's been awhile. have a Sailor Moon rant :)

saw a comment on my Jesus might have healed a gay couple vid that was sooo obviously written by a guy who has never felt the kind of fear females often fear... add being gay in a not-gay-friendly place to that and... yea.
i don't want people who know me in person to know that account is mine. and yes the voice would be enough. epecially when combined with how hard i find it to lie now. i used to be so good at lying. what happened? it's like once i could really cut daddie dearest out of my life i lost the ability to lie. ugh.

Moving on... MAY I RANT ABOUT SAILOR MOON CRYSTAL PLEASE? SPOILERS AHEAD FOR BOTH CRYSTAL AND MANGA.

because i am SOO PISSED at it now. episode 10 specifically, tho i saw it coming as soon as i saw they let jadite survive beyond where the manga killed him off. I mean i was never really thrilled, for many of the same reasons as that keyofnik tumblr i follow. the Senshi have no personality, it's somehow turned into the Mamoru Show, and he's bland too.

AND HOW THE HELL DO YOU HAVE MINAKO FUCKING AINO AND REI FUCKING HINO GIVE UP AND ALLOW THE ENEMY TO JUST KILL THEM?!?!? TO HAVE MINAKO AND REI JUST STAND THERE AND LET THEMSELVES AND THEIR FRIENDS AND EACH OTHER AND THEIR PRINCESS BE SHOT?!??

Fuck this reboot! you do NOT have your theme song going on about how girls don't need a prince and then have ALL THE SENSHI GIVE UP BECAUSE OF SOME JUST-REMEMBERED PAST ROMANCE WITH A GUY!!!

does Crystal!usagi even give a damn about her Senshi?

and no.. i wasn't a huge fan of the manga. i could see hints of character but again it was mostly the mamo-and-usagi show and i was much more interested in the interactions of all the girls with each other. boy-meets-girl romances are a dime for 5 dozen, i swear.

REI HINO DOES NOT LOVE JADITE DAMMIT! yea.. crystal went there... Senshi are neatly paired off with the damn shitennou. So not only do the princess moon and prince earth fall in love but so do each of their personal guardians. and so neatly paired up too.... one Senshi for each shitennou BECAUSE APPARENTLY NOW EVERY GIRL NEEDS A GUY IN HER LIFE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS NOT MY SAILOR MOON!

and i really didn't like how the manga treated my babies, my Haruka and Michiru. Haruka kissed usagi but not her girlfriend?? what the hell? and poor Michiru didn't even get much of a personality. and what really pissed me off is how Haruka and Michiru ended up being just a foil for the usagi-and-mamoru show in that Michiru flirts with mamo, usagi sees, feels threatened. and Haruka kisses usagi and mamo feels threatened and THEN MAMORU AND USAGI DEAL WITH IT AS PART OF THEIR STORYLINE BUT I GUESS HARUKA AND MICHIRU HAD TO HAVE THEIR MOMENT OFFSCREEN.

AND AFTER USAGI DECIDES SHE'S STAYING WITH HER MAMO-CHAN THEN HARUKA STOPS WEARING BOY CLOTHES AFTER MUGEN HER SCHOOL UNIFORM IS THE GIRLS UNIFORM WHAT THE HELL!! It's like the tomboy half of her drops off the face of the earth. I am not ok with this. Haruka wears pants and skirts both damn it! Stop putting her in skirts all the time!

altho to be fair, the manga is a damn sight better than this crystal reboot. you could see hints of personality.

i do NOT want crystal to get ahold of my babies. i am already on edge.

did Jesus affirm a gay couple?

That's the title of my latest youtube video and I'm on my phone and don't have a link... let's see if I can get one....http://www.youtube.com/#/watch?v=A7ftJoxhnBw
I thinkthatwill work. All I did was replace the m with www in the address so it would not be a mobile link anymore. The switch worked before. Anyway please pass that video around. I do run ads now but I also want that info out there. Yes I want to make a few extra pennies buti also want to helpthe gay community and I can answer most of the bible arguments used against gay people. Why shouldn't I get paid a bit for this work? That retail job pays crap and they treat me bad. Guess what they did? Guess.

They blamed me for not catching a professional thieving *team* who hit the store. It was a duo, black male and black female, and they have been hitting that store for *months* and corporate has done nothing. No new security cameras since these thieves know how. To avoid thecurrent. Ones (no face shots) and no one was watching the current. Security cameras anyway. Because while they stayed close to the blind spot (and knew. Where the blind spot was because dumbass employer had a monitor showing what the. Camera was recording) it wasstill obvious enough what they were doing. They stole and opened a box of garbage bags and were filling the bags. And no one was watching the camera feed!

what is the point of security cameras if only the thieves areseeing the feed? Someone watching the feed could have called the cops from a safe distance. But nooooo instead they expect me. To physically approah thieves who are bigger than me so the thieves can threaten and. Intimidate me *and recognize my face*! So after work they made me watch the recorded feed to show me how wrong I was for not catching the thieves. And all I'm thinking is "why wasn't the supposed security center watching this as it was happening? Why didn't they call?"

so I'm blamed and I might get moved out of the makeup counter and I want to quit sooooo bad.maybe I'll apply at sephora. But every penny helps so please pass my vid on. It's info that can be thrown back at those duck dynasty jerks!