Warning: relapse imminent

I can feel it coming. I've been fighting it for a few weeks, since about the second week of this working six days a week thing. I feel frustrated and sometimes it even turns to anger. Can't get angry at the people I take care of, can I?  So I turn it inward, which is so not helpful.
I got my ass back on those protein shakes by week 3, got some yummy Gummi style vitamins, and some of those vitamin C chewables, so damage from sudden random calorie cutting was minimal as possible.  It's all I can do. I feel so stuck and frustrated and this has been my coping mechanism since I was so very young. I do not have a normal brain.
And back when I was living like that, I was much more productive, more creative, and even happier.  My brain worked better. I thought things through, made decisions, and moved forward. And now I've gone backwards. I stopped writing, I stopped drawing, I stopped playing music, I stopped growing in all the important ways. All that grew was my waistline.
And for what? This job pays peanuts. I went through old bank statements and I'm making the same amount I made in retail. To be fair, even with the frustration, this is still a better job than retail ever was. I'm just so tired of having so little time to even do my own laundry, or wash my own dishes. I'm on swing shift right now. Some nights I get off at 11 pm, some days I start at 9 am, and it's so tiring. I spend most of my time catching up on sleep, or cleaning the homes of people who either don't care if they get pee all over their floors, or are incapable of peeing on their own anyway. And it's not like these people are mean, it's just that biohazard is everywhere and damn it this is why institutions exist, to control biohazard contaminants. If you can't even sleep unsupervised, then you belong in a hospital setting, or at least a nursing home. How am I legally allowed to do this?
And I'm technically not full time. I'm averaging 33 hours, some weeks are higher than others, but that swing shift makes it feel so much harder. I'm going to try to do just 1 hour a day on something personal. Perhaps 1 day I'll do laundry, another day I'll organize just 1 drawer. If I could dump the Saturday shift, that would really help. Saturday shift is the most painful, the most punishing. I can't move at all on Sunday, my only day off. So nothing gets done and Monday it's off to the swinging races again. But my paychecks show I make barely over $1050 each month, so could I afford dropping about $250 from that total?

But I think mostly I really am angry at myself. This job forces me to realize just how much free time I wasted back before I had this job. I allowed daddie dearest to suck up my time, and without paying me too. The one good thing about this job is I now have a spoiled-rich-family-approved excuse to not wait on his lazy ass.