I finally do my questions!

I've been bad. Because of course. Being borderline obese is fun!
It'd be more fun if the fat was in my bra.
anyway...

I have Liebster awards! I know i was nominated once for sure cuz she left a comment. (Thank you, loveylou!) I think Sam Lupin picked me too... there's no comment and she spelled the name "Honour" and left off the Regzig part but i think she meant me since she has commented on my blog before. Plus we both drool over women so yea. And her questions are amusingly oversexed so hell yea.

Lovelou's questions first:

1. What do you love most about yourself? I have my Mom's smile. (Now I just need to bleach the damn teeth!)

2. Describe a memory that makes you proud. A teacher (one that I don't hugely like) actually asked me for a copy of a paper I wrote to keep in her files.

3. If you could change one moment in your life, that you think would be pivotal, and could change the course of your entire life, would you? What moment would you change, what would be different?

I would keep the stepmother from meeting my dad OR she would have simply said "You need medication and to stop being an ass to your wife and kids."

Cuz stepmom could have done that but instead she was a regular Grima Wormtongue sucking up to daddie dearest and paternal grandfather paid for her law school then she married daddie dearest and THEN she got his oeasily angered abusive ass on some meds.

4. What would you do if your family and friends found out about your eating disorder and/or blog?

The ones I care about.. I'd reassure. i don't want to die, remember. I want to live at least long enough to have many moments of perfect happiness. but to daddie dearest i'd tell him it's his fault. He and stepdad made me so unhappy i actually tried to make myself small enough to disappear. Ah, the magical thinking kids are capable of.

5. If you could be anyone, who would you be and why? I don't understand this question. I kinda like being myself. I wouldn't mind being Samantha Ronson's wife ^_^ does that count?

6. What is your relationship with your parents like? Love my Mom, must keep her alive! I've never doubted her love for me but I have often doubted her intelligence! But daddie dearest can suck my polterwang.

7. What's your favourite 'safe food'? my Chobanis and my protein shakes are foods i never feel bad about eating.

8. What are you doing when you feel the most happy and joyful? Writing funny scenes. Or writing funny stuff in general, whether scenes or comic ideas or blog entries that i hope will make someone laugh. Too much sadness in the world.

9. If you could be any animal what would you be? Animal? Pffft. Bird i guess. i want to be a fairy! Fern Gully forever! Or Neverland would work too.

10. What is your favourite fashion statement or 'look'? A mix of the Ronson twins. I first noticed them because I was attracted to Charlotte's fashion line. I just really like her aesthetic. Tho lately even she has been sending more dayglo colors down the runway. WTF? Even my dear Charlotte? NOOOOO!

11. If you could make one wish, what would you wish for? (can't be body related in any way)

That daddie dearest had stayed the guy Mom claims he was when they married. I will probably never get over the shit he pulled.

I need cheering up now.

That pic makes me giggle. They seriously look like they're having some sort of half-argument: "Oh no you didn't!" "Oh yes I did!!"

This one also makes me giggle. Naughty Samantha! Though i'd stare too.

I seriously need a girlfriend. Or a friend-with-benefits?

I'm finishing up this month's edition of Uteruspunch from hell. Seriously it hasn't been that bad for almost a year. I thought i had outgrown the evil painful ones. Seems not.

But it being over also means the sex hormones are rebounding. I am sooooo gonna have a one track mine in about 2 days. And i'm gonna be stuck in that gutter for about 4 or 5 days. That's my usual pattern. Womanlies and then the hormone rebound. I'll try to spare you allthe more-than-usual endless drooling.

Anyway... Sam lupin's questions!

1. who did you have sex with and why where were you on the night of yesterday

On the night of yesterday i was in bed with pain pills in my bloodstream.

2. describe your sexual orientation 

Total lesbian.

3. what turns you on and no light switch jokes guise im onto you

What doesn't? I've been single for damn near 8 years. Women turn me on. Big boobs, small boobs, doesn't seem to matter so long as they're real boobs. Though i am curious about how implants feel. And i guess if an implant was done well I wouldn't be grossed out. i just haven't seen a well done implant that i knew was an implant. Celebrity crushes include (but are not limited to): Kate Winslet, Queen Latifah, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Christina Hendricks, Jolene Blalock (T'Pol), the pretty lady who played Inara on Firefly, all the women on Firefly for different reasons, Allison Hannigan, Amber Benson, Samantha Ronson, Charlotte Ronson (yep I like both twins so I'm pretty sure that makes me a pervert), the hottie who played Seven of Nine (Jeri but can't remember last name and there were two Jeris in Star Trek) and yes I even had a crush on Kate Mulgrew... what? She was feminine yet still in command! i loved that!

I seem most attracted to women who are obviously women but still have a tomboy streak.

4. same thing; what turns you off

maleness. even a lesbian can turn me off if she's really butch. and don't get me started on the tranny thing. Gross! No surgery can create the exquisite beauty that is a woman, so guys don't bother. And why the hell would a woman want to be male?? I can understand dumping the damn uterus, since it's useless unless you want to pop out some kids, but why why WHY destroy the lovely breasts and delicate genitals? And don't give me the "born the wrong sex" because that's bullshit. If you don't like how society expects you to act cuz you have a dick or not, then expand the definition of masculine/feminine. Cuz when a guy claims to be a woman, he's really just reinforcing the sexist bullshit about how being a woman is all about appearance. He is defining "woman" in a way that gives him what he wants without regard for how real women are affected. That is actually a textbook example of male privilege.

Also... pheremones don't lie :)

Or something... cuz somehow i can tell if a fake "chick" is hitting on me. My biology/anthropology friend says i'm probably reacting to subconcious pheremone signals, since sexual orientation really is a matter of my brain being wired differently.

Fun tidbit: perfume companies were among the first to notice stuff like this while trying to target their products (profit!). They saw certain scents hit straight female brains and gay male brains the same way. They're still working on figuring out what lesbians like ^_^

6. wat r ur views on incest.

Eehh...mostly eww.. But if the relation is like 2nd cousins or farther apart then it's less eww. Go back far enough and we're probably all related somehow. But doesn't inbreeding make bad genes come out more? So maybe the eww reaction is good.

7. coffee?

I like the smell but not the taste. I'm trying to come around.. got some instant vanilla latte that i like.

8. you are injected with something  that makes you so hypersexual you are attracted to every gender and need to have sex like right now; what do yo do

WTF don't make me do a guy! I slap you!

i would rather pull out my vibrator than do a guy, although if for some reason i ever get curious i know i can trust R to not hurt me. But I'm really not interested. I've never even had a strap-on used on me, tho I once wore one for another girl. That was... kinda strange. But it's nice to have both my arms around a girl when she hits orgasm. I should probably start building my own toy chest. That way the strap-on strap will hopefully FIT!

9.  what would you do if your Father was Satan

you mean he isn't?

10. did you once think your nipples were weird or is it just me

Sometimes i wonder if my nips are a bit big for my breast size (barely a B cup) but i kinda like them. I like the color. Why can't I find a pretty pink lipstick in the same color? I read somewhere that Benetint was created to give nipples a pretty pink flush. I have Benetint... it looked nice on my lips for about 2 hours then gone. Maybe it would last longer on my nipples? It doesn't taste very good though. You know what does? Charlotte Ronson lipgloss. Kinda minty... and now I'm wondering how that would feel on my nips.

Sam lupin is a bad influence :p

11. how many times have you worn the same bra/underwear/boxers whatever for more than one day

um.... well since i don't think I need to shower daily in the winter (and i hate stripping in my cold bathroom) I've probably worn the same undies for 2 days in a row... too many times to count. i wear pantiliners that i change often so I sometimes forget to change the undies too. And I hate wearing bras. I'll probably wear a bra some 12 or 13 times... untill it starts to smell, basically. Since i don't wear bras often (maybe once a week?) I honestly don't know how long a bra will go without washing. So long as it doesn't smell or feel gross, i figure it's fine. i prefer men's A-shirts anyway.

I do hope I've teased any gay or bi readers *hides devil horns*
And now that I've done this I'm thinking... did Sam forget to write a question 5? Or does question 1 count as two questions since one's crossed out? Naughty Sam ;)

And thinking about perfumes foc has me thinking of Ronson. i vaguely remember reading that she liked Clinique happy (or so said a damn tabloid) and i think Samantha herself mentioned something called Dreabilly by Agatha. I think it's this: http://www.carnivalwaxstore.com/products/Dreabilly-Perfume-Oil.html
That looks interesting..orange blossom and sugar with smoke and wood?  and very expensive. It looks like her kind of thing though. Skulls everywhere. Looks like for $15 I can try one itty bitty Dreabilly and 2 other itty bittys. Maybe if the world doesn't end I will. ^_^