new vid, as i re-test stuff

new vid...trying to set shit up in hopes of making it easier on myself later... i just talk in it, about indoor tanning stuff i've run into, I kinda chipmunkized myself somehow. I think I know what happened, but given how dangerous it would be for people to find me in person, since I HAVE NO RIGHTS IN THIS STATE i think i should keep chipmunkizing my voice anyway.

It would be easy to undo for those who know how, but i'm hoping most bullies and other youma won't bother (and me and my random Sailor Moon references again)

http://youtu.be/2tfAxlpUTAs

In other news.. I am still f*cked about my computer and shit.. and i'm gonna have to stay elsewhere and just kinda sneak back to see my cat. Here's hoping i'm not told to dump my phone as well. Because that is not gonna happen. My phone is an ancient phone that only has like 126 MEGAbytes of internal storage. 126MB.... that's like 1 tenth of 1 gig.. that is NOT a computer equivalent at all!

I hate this shit. i hate aunt bitch. i hate jailuncle. dear Bro is gonna set my computer up in Mom's office.. but internet there is always iffy... so i'd have to take her laptop to yet another location in order to get online.

anyway let me know if anything on the vid should change. i'll try to get back to it as soon as i can... whenever that is. i tell the truth in it to the best of my knowledge. so i did pick tags that i thought were relevant and would maybe help it show up in searches.

more family "fun"

guess the newest bit of bullshit i have to deal with?

i gotta tell the courts that i am moving out of my own house so jackass jailuncle can live here

what the flying FUCK.

so all together....

• losing my computer for God knows how long. It's going to be in mom's office... i have to drive to get there, and make sure i don't get in anyone else's way.
• internet is not assured at this location.
• homophobe in the house for who knows how long
• homophobe's equally homophobic sons are among his legal guardians.. so they need access to the house
• Mom being the primary guardian means she will probably have to turn down paying gigs because she can't find a babysitter for dumbass jailuncle
• I HAVE TO MOVE OUT FOR AN UNSPECIFIED AMOUNT OF TIME

so for obvious reasons i am of the opinion (which may well be objective fact after all this shit) that aunt and uncle snooty are self-righteous asshats who are hereby DEAD TO ME. they refuse to give Mom any financial help. They already refused to host jailuncle even tho these asshats are on disability and do nothing but play golf, watch tv, and do their motorcycle joyrides, so THEIR income would not have been affected. (my disability does not vanish when i WANT to do something! gosh it must be nice to have a disability that only prevents working)

and NOW aunt snooty is all "oh i bear Honor no ill will" what the fuck are you doing? I'M the one who has a right to bear ill will!

think i could borrow Mich's crossbow or some swords? cuz i really want to break aunt snooty's jaw.

another damn bond hearing!! >:(

after all the shit I've put up with I'm still not in the clear!!! lawyer's aiming for another damn bond hearing for ped-uncle next week! I could still lose my computer entirely for God only knows how long!!

Fuck this shit!!! i hate this! Just because I chose to live with my mother instead of living on welfare!!
My total bad! Remind me that taxpayers are totally here to support me. Right!

I just got the news tonight. And ofc immediately my stomach was all uproar and acidy so dinner was not possible. And I still have to go to the store. Fuck! And after all the work I did to get internet up in my room.

after aunt snooty's total not-an-apology-at-all and her being all condescending because me and R couldn't be that close since i'm not fucking him. just because she slept her way to the top... well as far as she could get anyway.

I don't know what to do. I'm so angry I'm shaking. I'm trying to focus on how to salvage anything should the worst happen. One thing is sure... I cannot be a legal guardian!!!

Think about this shit they're trying to get me to do..... give up my computer, not just internet but my entire computer. AND STAY HOME TO BABYSIT JAILUNCLE BECAUSE HE CANNOT BE LEFT UNSUPERVISED.

So I'm not even free to leave whenever i want to go to where my computer is. That is what they want me to do.
How the fuck am I being the selfish one?!?!? They are asking me to give up my whole life!

Did i mention he has 3 kids of his own and they aren't being very helpful??!?

this new lawyer is aiming for hearing is next week and ofc i work the weekend, so i basically have tomorrow to prepare for the worst. I have larger microSD cards for my phone, and since any updates to my youtube or webcomic (yea i was gonna pick that up again) will be sporadic, I finally got off my ass and got a twitter. I used the same email this blog is attached to, which means the verification email connected me to Mich's twitter, heh. I forgot she had one. Bad Honor. Oh she followed me back... autofollow? oh my twitter @KitraKatarae, same pen name as my poor neglected comic. And it might get more neglected now.
I figure I can use the twitter to announce whenever there's an update. I could maybe do the same if i upload anything to youtube? I do not want a damn google+ thing. I do not need my real name or real ANYTHING being put out into the general internet full of strangers.

I've been getting emails about a tumblr that I apparently have. i never signed up for one but i did have something like a livejournal back in the day. was there a changeover there?

ok i'm in.. totally forgot the password ofc... but i'm in now, reset password.. changing url... ok tumblr is now also kitrakatarae.
and wow i guess i did sign up for a tumblr.. i remember making that one lone post... 4 years ago? wow. it all looks very different now...ok liked 2 posts and no idea how people say things, make those note things but.. can't hang around.. i got stuff to do.  i know Mich and Peri are on tumblr somewhere. i'll get ya my next runthru. Thus far I got the autofollow Staff tumblr, and ofc Samantha Ronson from way back.. and keyofnik cuz her tumblr was my link to the mainpage so she was already there.

what really sucks is i can't use my phone for any of this. i am stuck. need a computer. stupid uncle! ASSHOLE AUNT!!!

is it weird that i want to disconnect from the internet before i plug in things like flash drives and external hard drives and MY PHONE? Because i am oddly paranoid about getting an internet problem on my phone. Or some auto-update crap. I dunno.

so i can upload to youtube without the damn G+? i hope so.
ok i have bills to go pay :(

hey remember when Peri asked me about violins?

yea eons ago she sent me this tumblr link http://glueandpieces.tumblr.com/post/66395732598/is-it-just-me-or-are-the-violins-sounding-weird-i

and i'm only just NOW actually listening to it, as tumblr gave me issues for the longest time. Experiments on keyofnik (which loads so easy for me) finally taught me which scripts i needed to allow and which scripts would absolutely crash my browser. So i finally got to hear it! the youtube link she sent was broken so i had to search for madoka opening, but i think i found it, it sounds similar enough to the violin piece that yea, i think it's what they aimed for. what i found is called Madoka Magica Opening-Connect. Anyway to the violins! come watch me type as i think!

Ok on my computer..(repeat: on my system)... the version on Peri's tumblr sounds...pretty normal. sometimes it seems like the violins might be slightly out of sync to the rest, but that could also be a style choice. It could be deliberate. Sometimes i lose the violins briefly in the piano (are there only 2 violins? sounds kinda like it) but yea some violins do have that kinda almost-a-bit-nasally-or-something sound. Stringed instruments all have their own timbre, tone color, much like human voices. that's probably why it's easy to switch a voice out for a violin, or vice versa. it also means that instrument auditions aren't just looking at the skill of the player, they have to consider the tone color of the instrument as well. I've got a violin (technically Mom's but hah like she plays it) that sounds very nasally to me. I also think my viola sounds very nasal. (sidenote: listening to the old test vid of mine on my channel.. wow that is soft. even with the keychain cam wow that is soft)

i also think that having the piano, which has a very different timbre, play many of the same notes at the same times as the violins just really makes the violins sound more nasally than they are. that combined with the violins being kinda soft, even to getting lost in the piano... yeah...

It's hard to pull a song that's part electric and make it all acoustic, and voiceless on top of that. Electric instruments are so different. The total feel of the song tends to change. Which is probably why my main issue with this violin piece is actually the bass ^_^ because the bass line sounds electric to me. WTF if you're gonna go acoustic then dammit go acoustic!

Another thought... the Madoka opening i found, even with the voices, also has violins. Very clear/sweet-timbre violins, so it can be a shock to the ear to go from those violins to the ones used in the cover. And the madoka opening violins both have solos and play WITH the voices,doubling the voices, so maybe that's why the piano doubles the violins in the cover. Like they switched out the voices for violins for those parts, and then used the piano for everything else. And ofc the violins also had solos originally so ofc the cover would have that too. Wow that's hard... to make a piano/violin only version of a song that already has both instruments in it. Wow.. you'd only be taking stuff away really. Wooooowwwwww.

I would still dump that bass, but otherwise I think they did good.

opening recording i used: youtube.com/watch?v=mRwOkJETOfk

another classical version of Connect I found: youtube.com/watch?v=Xh0Ul8JSU2A -this uses a full orchestra, and this sounds a bit Legend of Zelda to me but since i love Zelda that didn't bother me a bit ^_^

i do wonder how long those links will work. I sometimes wonder why the official holders of the copyrights don't just do their own official channels or something. Youtube is so useful for finding music. Yea yea i know thieves but really, not having official channels doesn't stop the thieves. And official channels would also make new music by the same composers easier to find. Because many peeps, me too, like to listen/view before we buy. Wouldn't that mean more customers? or am i just one of those rare types who understands that musicians need to eat too? I mean I even see people posting the Sailor Moon reboot (Crystal) on youtube!! WTF?? it's already free online! I guess there are region restrictions in some places. I saw people talking about it on Jetwolf's tumblr. But they also came up with workarounds and shared links to LEGAL sites that were showing Crystal. Because the companies need those numbers.

cautiously a little optimistic

hello from an actual computer!! complete with internet!

ok the ancient computer that was all mine even if a used hand-me-down (old old... i mean 18GB total hard drive space)was combined with the slightly newer one (and by that I mean a 2003 computer with just under 100GB hard drive tho it had been partitioned into 60/40 by an earlier user) and this newer one is now in my room. It was huge and f*cking heavy to move up the stairs by myself. Moving crap took the better part of 3 days. i am using the old now-gone computer's monitor and keyboard and mouse, so that helped. I did take the newer one's speakers, since they actually work. I have music in my room again yay!!! Of my sleep schedule is still fecked to bits but eh.

although i think the most annoying part, not painful physically but damn annoying, was getting internet up here. i finally found a really REALLY long Ethernet cable. Winding it up the stairs and across the ceiling with lots of tape holding it up... yea that was fun. Fortunately my door doesn't fit the frame well so there's a space big enough for the cable even when the door is closed.

I broke down at work 2 weeks ago when NiceManager noticed i wasn't my usual self and i told all about pr0n-uncle and aunt snooty and all that fun and how the whole carpool home she's berated me and called me a waste of life etc. So NiceManager gave me an unofficial vacation as soon as she could. I didn't want her to have to rewrite the schedule she already made. But yea, i have this whole week off yay.

And thus far I've wasted all of it. Watched lots of Sailor Moon (it's on hulu, which apparently also streams at neonalley.com which is where i can watch both the old 90s anime and the new Crystal reboot), reread Jet Wolf's liveblog of Sailor Moon S (my fave overall season, tho i do adore the Doom Tree arc of R) and I ordered Sims 3 and Ambitions and Supernatural.. even tho i know damn well I need a new computer before I can play them. This one doesn't have enough free space or RAM.

But with Sims 4 coming out I wanted to grab 3 while I could. yea yea i'm behind, I don't care. i never had any Sims2 expansions at all. I've got the basic game and my poor computer was having issues with just that. So I've just been playing original Sims all this time. Buuut Jet Wolf has a Simshi page and now i want one. But Sims 2 also taught me that aging is no fun when only one household goes at a time. Bro showed how Sims 3 the whole neighborhood runs at once. I'll probably turn aging off anyway but just playing on his game it was soooo nice to visit neighbors! That was cool!!! So cool! Usagi could drop in on Rei anytime as you know she would!! So... someday. Maybe someday soon. Bro has already said he's use his NewEgg acct to get the parts and put it together himself, so that would chop my price in half. i just gotta pay for it. We also talked about me recording myself playing stuff for youtube and such. Because right now my recording options are either that old keychain camera that i got eons ago when i thought i might need to record that mean manager being evil to me... or even older mics that do plug into this computer but sound very tinny no matter what i do. And i know it's the mics, because Audacity can also record what i hear thru the speakers and that sounds fabulous. Soo... here's hoping that old keychain camera still works, eh? Cuz i did find out Audacity can put two wavs into a single mp3 so yay there. it would be hard as hell to line the parts up correctly cuz it's all by ear and eye, but it is possible.

Cuz dumbass me had wanted to have a song ready for Samantha Ronson's birthday.... which was August 7. oops.

In my defense I did have all that drama going on and i was missing a computer entirely for a few days while Bro transferred stuff. And mixing parts together is actually very hard with my current technology.

Aunt Snooty came over unexpectedly a few days ago and supposedly apologized but her non-apology was sooo couched in her justifications for how she acted and why she still says i'm selfish.

Let's be clear...:uncle has 3 kids of his own and dammit it is their job to save his ass! why are they doing nothing?! i am not required to give up my everything for him!

and you know why he can't live at her place? Because she and her husband (who is even worse) do not want to babysit the grandkid at the grandkid's own house. nope grandma's swingset is more special than any human. grandkid has to use grandma's swingset. or something.

Anyway... so I have not even thought about getting a new computer because I don't want to buy a new computer and get it up here only to have to lose it for God knows how long. So... no new computer for me until i am 100% sure I won't lose it over prisoner-uncle coming here. I'll just hang on to the Sims 3 games i guess.

Meanwhile prisoner-uncle has decided to stop eating and yes aunt snooty mentioned that SEVERAL times in her "apology". It was my Mom who finally told me that prisoner-uncle was doing it so his kids wouldn't have the shame of a father in prison. Apparently they haven't been visiting him or something. i also find it interesting that either he's given up on his case (guilty conscience?) or he's doing this as some sort of tactic? What's the thinking here? I don't thinks courts like attempts at emotional manipulation. He's been in there for about 5 months. Not even a year. And for being accused of a very very VERY serious crime, 6 months doesn't sound that long. Is it long? is this unusual for such a case? i have no way of knowing. i also don't know how real it is, since I always only ever get hearsay.

Oh one last thing.. aunt snooty was going on and on about how the internet is just shutting yourself away and i tried to point out how my best friend R and i had met online and he came up here. And the FIRST WORDS out of aunt snooty's mouth were "yea and he's living with that other girl"

WHAT THE FUCK??!? so a relationship is not valid unless it's sexual or something? Fuck you, bitch!

And then she told me i'm really just bisexual and i'm just afraid of sex or something. fuck that bitch!

but anyway... here i am on aug 9 and it's frickin early cuz my sleep patterns are fecked... but i still have computer and internet. I'm hoping it stays that way. and quick note about the ex-stepdad visiting in the last entry, he didn't leave until after 10pm. so yea... he was here from a lil before 3pm to past 10. at least he stayed away from me this time.

another note.. as i read thru my most recent entries... I feel i need to confess i now own Sailor Venus because clearly i have no willpower and I'm even thinking of signing up for the Amazon credit card just so i can get that one-time-use gift card they give you when you're approved.

Please note how i am blatantly ASSUMING I'll be approved. yea.