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Thursday, August 30, 2012

click of shame...

Uh oh... guess who ws naughty?
In soooo many ways?

I stayed up all night shopping online. Sephora had sent me a coupon code at the start of the month and I wanted to use it before it expired. The glorious Lavanila sunscreen I've fallen in love with was out of stock, so I spent all night going thru clearance sections and the "gifts under $10" section. And I dropped like $75 on various little (and overpriced I'm sure) "try me" kits. The most expensive was a fresh sugar set with an spf lip tint and a few samples for $28. The cheapest was a heavily clearance tokidoki for $3 and as it is one of the 2 tokidokis sold out right under me. So I'm only getting the one. I kept looking at the red Charlotte Ronson gloss but I'm not quite bold enough to actually buy a red lippy by itself, tho if it shows up in a palette I sometimes play with it late at night. Never worn red in public though.
But anyway the point here is I have a huge makeup stash already and I just added to it. So I'm gonna do the click of shame and hit publish and catch a few winks while trying to not get all excited about a package due to come next week.
Bad Honor! Bad!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

argh

I soooo want to quit! Hate that place! On my feet for hours. In pain from it. Almost need to eat so my poor abused body has material to attempt repairs.
tall manager got all harsh orders on the loudspeaker when he ordered me to front register and I already had customers at *my* counter! I soooo wanted to say I already had customers into the loudspeaker. He's such an ass.
and one of the cool but less powerful managers is stuck in the hospital right now with some serious intestinal problem, so tall manager is around even more because he's salaried so work doesn't have to pay him overtime.. and plus he's a moron with activating the sales in the computer. So we have to modify prices all over once the new sale tags go up.
but I need the scrapes of money that shitty job gives me.
so instead of quitting, I changed my schedule and am basically pretending to go to school. I checked the college website so I have all the class session dates and can line up with the actual student coworkers... and yea I'm not set up to get my days off all in a row. At least 4 days, but I'm still stuckn working weekends. This was the first class week.... and thus far I've been lazy. Maybe I'll go hunt down advisors again. But it feels so futile. Maybe I'll just visit campus...my brother is a student and the gamer group still is big and busy. And as weather gets cold I can walk to campus and be inside their buildings instead of wandering the park. So i'd get out of the house and get walking exercise and still stay warm. And maybe write since campus has quite a few quaint little cubbyholes to curl up in.
should enjoy the park while I can though.
But yea, this is my first week of my new predictable schedule and I've just been a total couch potato. Ofc during work I was moved up front for a few days cuz fatass is on medical leave again. Sooo painful up there. I was limping at the end and slept for 2 days. At least I haven't been eating junk. Well the microwave dinners are junk but I've also stuffed myself with greek yogurts and various storebought smoothies. So I have a list of healthy treats that I like. I tried Bolthouse Farms Green Goodness smoothie and OMG NOM!! I think I like it more than Berry Boost! I have small bottles of Naked Green Machine + Red Machine to try soon. And I tried the vanilla flavored organic milk and that I did like. But seems the juiceboxlike packs these single serve milks come in isn't recyclable in my area...sigh. same issue with my coconut water. Something called Tetrapak.... guess I'll hit the internet and see if I can send them out? I dunno....
I finally found a way to stop making a mess with my bedside waterbottle while half asleep... I switched to a cheapo sippy cup. Yea yea go ahead and laugh. It works for me. Stumbling to get a drink from the bathroom just woke me up too much..a water glass would get knocked over and now I have that pricey Sonic Bomb alarm that really can't get wet. And when unscrewing a water bottle i'd often tip it on my bed cuz I'm just that graceful. And wet beds aren't fun, and again i'd wake up and not be able to sleep. So I swallowed my pride and got a cheap toddler's cup. And it's so helpful. When it falls over (thanks to me or my cat) only a few drops come out. I can drink from it while still lying down (once my barely functioning brain finds the spout) and the spout holes are too small for a bug to get into. Ugh I still feel sick remembering seeing all those little flies floating in my water! Blech!!
I found an old old ooold Self magazine that i'd kept for the 30min spot targeting workout inside it. I've been doing a few of the ones that are lying down. Figured it's better than nothing since my lazy ass hasn't been to the gym in weeks. This mag is old though... may 2003 old. I should take pics of the workout and post them here. It'll preserve the workout and I can share!
ok... tired now.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Attack of the womanlies... this whole week has been wasted. I got through work on caffeine and sugar and slept through my days off. I stuffed my face with junk. My selftan is completely gone. I didn't even wash my hair. I think I should wash my hair at least once a week. Because during this week the dead skin cells started clumping together and looked like dandruff. Didn't have that last week. And that has me sad, because I kinda like the scent my hair has developed. It's this warm, kinda earthy and herby smell like I imagine Xena's hair would have had. Like how my skin smells when I get caught in the rain and my body kicks the furnace up a few notches and the water has started to evaporate. Me like! Too bad I can't get this scent without getting lazybones dandruff too! Oh well....Mom says my hair stinks. So I guess normal people wouldn't like it. Eh.
Seems like that senority lady had a talking to. Her sales are down where the last cos lady's was, and the shave reset and another reset were done when I came back. She also started giving away all those "in store demos" that don't get used. How the hell does a drugstore demo anything other than maybe foundation? We don't have the supplies! I got sunscreens and some hair stuff. Specifically a 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner and a hair gel. How is a drugstore supposed to demo shampoo? Send the customer into the bathroom sink? This isn't Sephora where we have tiny bottles we can fill with a 1 use sample! So yea I added to my hair stash but it was free so how could I say no?
Not much going on. I've wasted another week of my life. I do feel better having had all that rest, but still I can't get that time back. Still having trouble with the 3rd comic...it's Trixie once again. I can't draw so none of my characters look realistic, so how to make Trixie look even less realistic? I even pulled up a few pics of Courntey Stodden for reference. Dunno if I spelled her name right but she's just another fameho known for plastic surgery.
Overhearing Mom talking politics to someone on the phone. If romney gets elected us poor people are so screwed.
And you know what? Even if I was a millionaire I could never vote for romney cuz he's so antu-gay and anti-woman. His policies would set civil rights for women and gays back several decades. He's just bad for people. And don't people matter more than money?

I'm depressed now. Moving on...
tried some chobani greek yogurt. The vanilla is too bitter for me, but the strawberry I could eat again. Also tried some organic milk. It tasted very weird..bleh. turns out the processing used to make it shelf stable is to blame. Yup, the organic milk I tried was outside the coolers. These little drinkboxes I thought would be better than buying a huge gallon jug since i'd never had organic milk before. I get why they do it though. There aren't as many organic dairyfarms as there are the other kind so the milk has to travel farther and this shelf stble form is good for 6 months. Maybe the flavored milk will taste better. I know I don't like the plain.
I should really go try to do something productive on my last day off.

Monday, August 13, 2012

It's like 330am cuz dumbass me played sims until my brain calmed down enough to feel sleepy should have just come straight here and blogged til sleepy.
not sure how well I should say I'm doing. I've gone sadly over the cal counts for this 3day diet too. The idea was always to edge down to where it was a 3day liquid fast but I guess I need food to repair damage done by being on my feet for so long?
the only thing I've done right is almost no junk food... but that's only because there isn't any in the house. Mom brings home church food or a pizza or milkshake and that's been it as far as junk. I've over my cal plan, but I'm still on the planned foods. Partial yay?
been trying lots of single serve greek yogurts. Umm... how can I say this nicely? Greek yogurt is an aquired taste. Which I have not yet aquired :/ bleh..... I like one of them this far, and it was a dannon oikos fruit on the botttom one. In peach. Kinda yummy for.... 160cals I think it was? Don't remember... I also got more smoothies, including that bolthouse farms berry boost that was quite yummy. So trying a few different bolthouse farms flavors and a few from a brand called Naked.... yup that's their name. I also have my fiber one brownies. And my cup-a-soups. And tomato juice instead of orange juice. And ofc I'm busting through my food bar stash. So... yea... over tehe cal limits but still on the planned foods. Partial victory. Should try to sleep..one more workday before days off..... is it weird that I have such a hard time sleeping when I have to go to work the next day?

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

*droool..* WANT!!!

I need to stop reading the forums.longhaircommunity.com place and go do something productive!!! Soooo many interesting posts and threads to read! Even though I'm a super fine hair and many of those toys won't work for me (I can only use the lightest plastic hairsticks... and even then they could fall out easy...) but I took like 3 pages of microprinted notes after reading the ENTIRE fine/thin hair thread ( http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=17115 ).. peeps there like these things called Ficcares. Seems Ficcares come in sizes that really do work for most all hair types out there... including mine?
Downside... Ficcares are PRICEY!!!

Take a peek: http://www.ficcare.com/Products.aspx?collId=81

OMG so gorgeous tho... waaaa! Want want want! Save $$ and get one? Means getting lots less junk food.. since i am a serious sugar addict and simple getting healthy isn't enough motivation. Seeing my gross shape in a mirror kinda helps.. but i just ate half the pizza Mom brought home so clearly seeing my grossness doesn't motivate me for more than a few hours. So maybe money could motivate? I want a Ficcare!!!

Meanwhile maybe I'll practice at this: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=98561

Hair taping! i have some lovely green ribbon that I bought years ago when a local fabric store was closing shop. I knew about hair taping when i bought it but haven't figured out quite how to do it. My hair keeps slipping out! But that thread has some youtube links and while my hair is very thin.. maybe I also wasn't using enough ribbon. I'd measure my ribbon by simply doubling the circumference of my head... nowhere near as much as i would have had doing triple the length of my arm as video lady does. vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqbAdvL8kME
Here's another youtube video from another thread that's I've lost track of.. i thought i got it from the thread i mentioned.. oh well.. the girl in this vid has hair that looks more like mine. vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m01wsIn-6zA
We all know how I love an accent! Anyway.... Her hair is still thicker than mine, but closer to my hair than the other nice vid lady.

Also... ZOMG!!! Parandi!!! Paranda? i dunno.. here! http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=91490

I soooo think Peri could pull that off! And we know she has yarn! I think in her most recent video she said something about having some leftover gorgeous fairy shawl yarn that she wasn't sure what to do with? Dunno i need new speakers. Anyway.. her dark hair plus that dreamy sunrise/sunset yarn in a parandi= even more gorgeous Peri than she already is! Idea? Maybe? Also i want a pic of Peri's hair.

Yeesh... yanno stalking Samantha takes up less time than i've spent on these forums! And is cheaper too! I'd love to meet Samantha Ronson... but I also don't see how that's possible. Samantha cannot be bought. But these hairtoys can! AAAAAHHHHH!!! Crap!!
Here's another something pretty.. it requires leaving hair down (ack risking damage and tangles and damage!) but it is soooo pretty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2VL70QDrHc and again with the slight accent heeee. I think that style requires thicker hair than mine tho... she also has a bunch of Lord of the Rings inspired hairstyle videos.. for the elves even! Check out her Arwen braid... from the deleted Arwen at Helm's Deep scene. I remember watching the Special Features with mom where Peter jackson was talking about how he'd realized way too late that putting Arwen in Helm's Deep was just wrong wrong wrong. he was ok with putting the elves there, but putting Arwen there just wasn't working. Ofc Liv Tyler had been in costume and on set and everything before she was written out so there's where the braid came from.. and it is COMPLKICATED! WTF do those elves just spend their days braiding each other's hair or what? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNiQgOonU0s

Hmm... there's talk of Trader Joe's Nourishing Spa shampoo and conditioners as being very good for low prices.. where do i find a Trader Joe's? Moving on..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJj_O7pDgYw i seriously need to crochet! Dunno what i think about front braids that long with a shorter ponytail in back.. but that cap is so cute to me.

Oh look... I managed to stay up[ damn near all night again.. dumbass me!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

brief rant, found something interesting..and hair blather

I've got a backdated entry I did in my bedroom when Blogger fell while i was on my phone. I'm still having issues with my phone soo.. here i am on the internet computer when I'm not supposed to be.
It was just a long rant i did when i had a bad headache... about the senority bitch who took over cos and she does nothing but ring people out.. so ofc she's all "look at my sales" and thus far the idiot managers in charge are falling for it. Sadly the smart managers have less power. isn't that how it always works? Anyway she's not facing or cleaning the women's bathroom, or the breakroom, or putting away the truck delivery every week. she sure isn't doing resets. Just sales sales sales. Then she threw me under the bus by saying I just stood there. When i have nothing to do I do stand behind my counter so people know I'm available and where to find me. Otherwise I'm doing resets and those other maintenance chores.

The night i typed that entry in a fury i had a splitting stress headache.. i'd been fighting with a hellacious reset for 2 days in a row. The entire shave/deoderant section is being rebuilt. i had to figure out how to uninstall a lockbox and move it, then reinstall it in its new location, after taking it apart further to adjust the doors. A number of shelve were removed and new basket-shelf fixtures were installed instead.
And i did all this by myself.

In short.. i am not happy.
I am trying to turn this unhappiness into motivation to do more creative work... but how well do anger and frustration translate into creativity?

Right now i have a half-finished 3rd comic on my bedroom computer. i wasn't particularly inspired.. I was just following the doodles in my notebook, which were drawn at a happier time.

i also entered a bunch of Allure and Lucky magazine giveaways... for fun? I did the Allure giveaways last year.. I won a cream blush. Heh... in August Allure has a massive giveaway... every weekday in that month. And i won one item.. oh well, better than nothing. To quote an episode of Angel, "Gotta play to win"

To my dear Peri- Yes, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a cool TV series. Damn cool, I think. The movie sucked though. Damn studio hijacked Joss Whedon's vision in the movie.. he had more freedom on tv.

Meanwhile.. I've been following the art of benign neglect on my hair ^_^
Haven't washed it in almost a week, but i have faithfully put a bit of coconut oil on the bottom and brushed it slowly with a Conair boar bristle brush. I do love my Conair brush... I actually have 3 of them that i cycle through so I always have a clean one. Sometimes my brush is cleaner than my hair. I also have been spraying my Bumble & bumble Tonic lotion on it. Tonic's 2nd ingredient is tea tree oil.(1st ingredient is water ofc) followed by peppermint oil and various other oils and extracts... so B&b Tonic is basically diluted tea tree oil with a few extras. And a bit of amodimethicone waaay down the ingredients list. My hair actually likes the lighter silicones. The ones that have "cyclo" in their names are the best, amodimethicone comes next.. and straight up dimethicone makes my hair very sad, it's too heavy. And my dear Got2be Oilicious hair oil that smells sooo good has full dimethicone in it.. sob! My hair looked good for like the first 2 days i used it.. then got stringy and dark and almost sticky. Sigh. My skin loves dimethicone though, especially my dry legs. So i guess I'll use it up as a skin oil.

I'm reading through the archives of the hair forum and found this: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/06/fashion/06locks.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2
Please excuse me for being very pissed off at:
"We hate throwing it away but ultimately we have to clear the place out,” said Greg Taylor, the president and owner of Taylormade. “There is a disparity between the hundreds and hundreds of braids and ponytails and the number of hairpieces we’ve produced.”
Mr. Taylor sells the wigs wholesale to Locks of Love for less than $1,000. Since the charity began in December 1997, it has provided about 2,000 wigs to recipients for free or a reduced price. "

This article was published in 2007. So somehow, in ten f^%$ing years.. only about 2,000 wigs were distributed.

Now go a bit further down and notice that Beautiful Lengths, a Pantene program, distributed 2,000 wigs in the space of one year.
Pantene Beautiful Lengths, started in June last year, [...snip...]distributed 2,000 wigs to women with cancer, said Seth Klugherz, the North American Pantene brand manager.

If Locks of Love hasn't SERIOUSLY fixed how fucked up they are... oh I'm going on the warpath. Why are they complaining that they don't give wigs out? Why are they basically throwing the blame with the whole "But many alopecia sufferers seem unaware that they are the group’s main priority; only about 10 apply for a wig each week, Ms. Coffman said."
Ya know what? It's their job to say "hey! We have wigs for you here! Come get one!"
They have major publicity for getting donations but not for giving the finished product out. Hmph. that's on them.
page 2 also points out how longhairs can even get berated and attacked for growing our hair long for our own enjoyment. That is not cool! And the long-hair interviewed was a forum member... here's the archived thread where she talked about being interviewed.. http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=70043&page=2

Anyway.... my other pisspoint about the forum is whenever a heartbroken long-hair cries about a terrible terrible experience with a haircutter.. the other haircutters on the forum play the persecution card "You can't say we're all like that how dare you" and then blame the victim "perhaps you weren't clear enough about what you wanted" blah blah blah.

Some hairdressers are shitheads. Deal with it. And shorn longhairs have a right to complain.

Still... lots of useful stuff there thus far and it would be nice to talk strategy with other longhairs. I can always block the stylists ^_^

Anyway back to my hair... amazingly my head does not itch at all. i chalk that up to the tea tree oil in the B&b Tonic. My ends are silky (coconut oil) and my hair, usually a rat's nest, has been almost tangle-free. It does look different. What's weird is it doesn't look oily, possibly because the oil is evenly distributed. Nor does it make my hands greasy. it looks like I have some sort of shag spray on it all over. Like i put a shag spray on wet hair then went clubbing all night or something. And I can use hairsticks, so long as they are light. My hair still falls out after a few hours but it used to fall out in a few seconds!
you know you're a long-hair when you have your hairtoys sorted according to how clean your hair can be without falling out of the toy! ^_^
unfortunately, my hair also looks much thinner right now. Being squeaky clean, even though it makes my head itch, also makes my hair look thicker.
I'm going to try an experiment. Mom wants to go shopping tomorrow and she hates how my hair looks, but I think I can get it to look decent if i put it in a high bun rather than at the nape of my neck, like I do for work. My work bun just looks gelled back so i know the high bun will too... only i'll try to add a few braids. My hair is really well behaved right now. But there's one more thing i also wanted to try...Tonight I'll do a water wash, meaning a gentle but thorough scalp massage under running water (basically washing w imaginary shampoo) followed by my usual coconut oil and B&b Tonic. i don't think a water wash will do anything bad and if all else fails, I can just put more coconut oil on. But I want to see what a waterwash will do.

I want to avoid washing as long as possible because the hair-stash-busting project is going to start with the stylers. Like mousse and sprays. I kinda like the effects those stylers give me, but after reading the ingredients i don't want the stylers on my bare hair. I figure some oil will act as a shield. I also have some texture pastes, though i'm not as worried about those. if I ever get around to cutting my Pride & Prejudice style bangs, a bit of texture paste might help the curls hold. The pastes don't have anything much worse than a bit of wax and polyquats, and bangs get trimmed much more often so I'm less worried about damage.

At some point I will have to use actual shampoo again, obviously. To remove the stylers if nothing else. And I think amodimethicone might eventually build up on my hair. Many longhairs on that forum swear by "washing" their hair with conditioner. And i have a lot of conditioners and deep conditioners and detanglers and leave-in conditioning sprays.

Wow.. I seriously have a challenge to bust the hair care stash.

Other quick update.. the day 1 and day 3 of the 3day fast were good, but day 2 was a total disaster. The stress from work + Mom wanting pizza = total badness. it was sad. I'm gonna try again with this next 3day work stretch.

Also.. I'm still not using the selftanners after finding ones that worked for me. Since i don't fit into any of my shorts it feels like a waste to faketan. Wich is bad thinking.. cuz doing the selftan keeps me too busy to eat, reminds me of my size (motivation) and helps me remember that some things about my appearance are in my control. there's nothing i can do about how thin my hair is or my tisted spine.... but i can do some things.. so why don't i?


ETA at 5am... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNmpzG3BAcM and similar videos on rare genetic issues... I am suddenly feeling a surge of gratitude that a moderate case of scoliosis (double curve w rotation in lower) and bad eyesight are my only issues.
I actually have it pretty damn good.
And Mom is totally going to have to drive for shopping cuz I'm gonna be too sleepy to safely operate a motor vehicle.
Good night.. good morning?