I do still pray sometimes... but i gotta admit science is pretty damn cool
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhqN39keSnE
and i stayed up all night again. I may be depending on caffeine.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Anyone ever try the Temptations by Jello cup things? I've got strawberry cheesecake and lemon meringue pie and i like both. Think I like the strawberry cheesecake more but i just love cheesecake so there's that.
Don't try these after having REAL cheesecake tho, because it will only show how fake these little cups are. But the lemon meringue one is like 80 cals a cup and the strawberry cheesecake is like 110 so there's that.
And I've basically been on a milk fast all day cuz I'm trying my damnedest to finish this gallon of milk up before it goes bad. i HATE wasting food! So after so much milk the change of these yummy little cups is niiiice. I like them!
Also tried Edy's Slow Churned ice cream- Mint chocolate chip flavor.
Mmmmmm! Must get that again!
I'm going to have to throw some chocolate out tho. When I was digging out my old gym stuff (I've been good about going to zumba each week and only missed this week cuz of Maunday Thurs service) i found some old chocolate... the Wonka stuff. 3 bags. 2 flavors, 2 bags of scrumdiddileyumptious (ugh that word is impossible) and 1 bag caramels. I tried them ofc, cuz i loved the Wonka. They didn't taste very good. Kinda cardboardy and sometimes salty or bitter.
Turns out they expired in 2011.
Oops.
So i do have to throw those out and I still haven't done it cuz i really just can't stand throwing out food. Not even junk food. I feel wrong and evil and wasteful and oh yea wrong!!!
Sinful even.
So the old old chocolate is still sitting in my room. I even try to get myself to eat a piece now and then. Can't.
But can't throw them out either.
This sucks.
Moving on...
Meugh.... still not lost anything and the countdown ticker continues. I do like to aim for the impossible, don't I? hey yea I can totally burn 6000 calories in a day (yea f*cking right!)
I do need to work out more often though. I seem to sleep better even though I haven't shown a loss on the scale. But getting my ass to the gym is hard for my lazy self.
And then a post over by Loveylou on her (very inspiring)blog gave me an idea.
She linked a little 10 minute workout video in one of her posts. and I realized that youtube is already in my house, that it is a huge resource, and i can get many vids (tho not all) to play on my phone up in my room.
And why the hell did i not think of this sooner??
Seriously tho.. she is crazy talented at getting nutritious meals together that are low cal. i need to learn to cook.
So i added 2 vids to my Cool Sh!t page so I can get to them easy. And I'll probably add more as i find them. Since these are to be mostly for home workouts i gotta find videos that use either no props (no machines) or props that i can approximate at home (could probably use a gallon jug of water for some of the dumbbell-weighted moves etc)
Also.... this dear old Hyperbole and a Half post is still soooo like me
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/03/procrastinator.html
I should probably go sleep some. Naughty as it is i've already decided to call off work cuz this milk fast thing did not make me comfy and besides i want to attend Bro's Easter dinner which he's doing on sat instead of sun cuz the whole fam is gonna be tired sun. Mom and Bro are gonna be in like 5 church services. Getting up at 6am for the sunrise service. So I'll probably work sun.
Ugh... i need out of that job.
Funny thing is again I've wasted my time off. I got comic #4 mostly done. Like 90% done. Got an outline for comic #5 but just the outline. I also told myself very sternly that this week I was finally gonna apply adsense codes to the comic pages. yea haven't done that yet. Ugh my tummy is not happy. And my eyes are complaining about how i've been staring at computer screen for way too long. I kinda want to stay up all night so i sound properly unhappy when i call in to call off. Which i plan to do early in the morning so they have time to find someone else (even tho i know they won't even bother cuz they're cheapasses) what has me kinda sad is the coworker i have such a crush on is also working tomorrow and my shift would overlap with hers but ugh... wow seems my stomach is gonna try to give me a real reason to call off. i mean i normally drink a lot of milk... but i'm up to half a gallon in about 6 hours so yea... overkill. and wow ok maybe if i just go lay down i won't sleep cuz it always takes my brain a while to shut down and get sleepy and i did sleep til after noon yesterday.
Don't try these after having REAL cheesecake tho, because it will only show how fake these little cups are. But the lemon meringue one is like 80 cals a cup and the strawberry cheesecake is like 110 so there's that.
And I've basically been on a milk fast all day cuz I'm trying my damnedest to finish this gallon of milk up before it goes bad. i HATE wasting food! So after so much milk the change of these yummy little cups is niiiice. I like them!
Also tried Edy's Slow Churned ice cream- Mint chocolate chip flavor.
Mmmmmm! Must get that again!
I'm going to have to throw some chocolate out tho. When I was digging out my old gym stuff (I've been good about going to zumba each week and only missed this week cuz of Maunday Thurs service) i found some old chocolate... the Wonka stuff. 3 bags. 2 flavors, 2 bags of scrumdiddileyumptious (ugh that word is impossible) and 1 bag caramels. I tried them ofc, cuz i loved the Wonka. They didn't taste very good. Kinda cardboardy and sometimes salty or bitter.
Turns out they expired in 2011.
Oops.
So i do have to throw those out and I still haven't done it cuz i really just can't stand throwing out food. Not even junk food. I feel wrong and evil and wasteful and oh yea wrong!!!
Sinful even.
So the old old chocolate is still sitting in my room. I even try to get myself to eat a piece now and then. Can't.
But can't throw them out either.
This sucks.
Moving on...
Meugh.... still not lost anything and the countdown ticker continues. I do like to aim for the impossible, don't I? hey yea I can totally burn 6000 calories in a day (yea f*cking right!)
I do need to work out more often though. I seem to sleep better even though I haven't shown a loss on the scale. But getting my ass to the gym is hard for my lazy self.
And then a post over by Loveylou on her (very inspiring)blog gave me an idea.
She linked a little 10 minute workout video in one of her posts. and I realized that youtube is already in my house, that it is a huge resource, and i can get many vids (tho not all) to play on my phone up in my room.
And why the hell did i not think of this sooner??
Seriously tho.. she is crazy talented at getting nutritious meals together that are low cal. i need to learn to cook.
So i added 2 vids to my Cool Sh!t page so I can get to them easy. And I'll probably add more as i find them. Since these are to be mostly for home workouts i gotta find videos that use either no props (no machines) or props that i can approximate at home (could probably use a gallon jug of water for some of the dumbbell-weighted moves etc)
Also.... this dear old Hyperbole and a Half post is still soooo like me
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/03/procrastinator.html
I should probably go sleep some. Naughty as it is i've already decided to call off work cuz this milk fast thing did not make me comfy and besides i want to attend Bro's Easter dinner which he's doing on sat instead of sun cuz the whole fam is gonna be tired sun. Mom and Bro are gonna be in like 5 church services. Getting up at 6am for the sunrise service. So I'll probably work sun.
Ugh... i need out of that job.
Funny thing is again I've wasted my time off. I got comic #4 mostly done. Like 90% done. Got an outline for comic #5 but just the outline. I also told myself very sternly that this week I was finally gonna apply adsense codes to the comic pages. yea haven't done that yet. Ugh my tummy is not happy. And my eyes are complaining about how i've been staring at computer screen for way too long. I kinda want to stay up all night so i sound properly unhappy when i call in to call off. Which i plan to do early in the morning so they have time to find someone else (even tho i know they won't even bother cuz they're cheapasses) what has me kinda sad is the coworker i have such a crush on is also working tomorrow and my shift would overlap with hers but ugh... wow seems my stomach is gonna try to give me a real reason to call off. i mean i normally drink a lot of milk... but i'm up to half a gallon in about 6 hours so yea... overkill. and wow ok maybe if i just go lay down i won't sleep cuz it always takes my brain a while to shut down and get sleepy and i did sleep til after noon yesterday.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
i can haz motivation?
Stayed up all night again cuz oh hai dumbass. I work today for presumptions r us as the easterbunny in work's photo promo. Which means going in earlier than I otherwise would.I got about 3 hours of sleep left and I'll be lucky if I get any cuz dumbass me slept way too late yesterday.
I also wasted my days off. Did a little work on comic #4 but otherwise watched tv and read gossip sites and browsed online shopping and lurked on Anonymous' forums. (Hey I like them) and I was so happy when I saw their threads on those steubenville assholes. I mean I suspected Anon involvement as soon as I read that a 12 min recording had been discovered where the victim was made fun of and the rape was bragged about. And then seeing how social media had been instrumental in bringing the rape coverup to light... oh yea Anonymous was there. So I found the threads and saw their outrage & hard work digging & mirroring and no way all those anons were women so again male feminists were working towards ending rape culture. There were even discussions on that. The few who did the "yea but she was drunk" were shot down. At least one anon came out as a former steubenville resident who had had something similar happen to her and that such coverups were the norm. Anonymous is still watching that town. There's still active threads keeping track of anyone threatenning the victim and keeping track of any other coverups.
But back to my extreme laziness... I did zumba, laundry, and a bit of work on comic #4 which has been sitting unfinished for yonks. This is not logical. Work is riding my ass about cos sales again and even threatening to take me out of cos. And that awful job only brings me about $800 to $1000 a month. I've read that a website with decent reader numbers and ads running could generate that same amount and I wouldn't have to pressure people to buy anything. Granted I would need a lot of readers. One website said getting 3 cents per visitor was actually kinda high. Wow and wow. But still..... free to read comic. It's a lot easier to ask someone to just read something for free than it is to get them to buy yet more stuff they don't need.
In other news, daddie dearest apparently promised to pay off Bro's old cellphone account in exchange for labor and getting Bro on daddie dearest's account plan, which I guess got daddie dearest a write-off or something. Well daddie dearest did not fulfill his promise & now Bro has collection agencies after him. Is it wrong that sometimes I want to be a millionaire just so I can finally have the power to make him SUCK IT? To get the court officials to see how much furniture daddie stole? Or the child support he never paid? Or how he married the lawyer he used against Mom and how daddie's dad paid for stepmom's law school? Altho I guess maybe stepmom didn't represent daddie in that...it just feels like she did.
And why does my right nipple hurt so much? It feels like it's on fire or something.
Anyway..... yea I'm wondering why I don't have any motivation lately.
I also wasted my days off. Did a little work on comic #4 but otherwise watched tv and read gossip sites and browsed online shopping and lurked on Anonymous' forums. (Hey I like them) and I was so happy when I saw their threads on those steubenville assholes. I mean I suspected Anon involvement as soon as I read that a 12 min recording had been discovered where the victim was made fun of and the rape was bragged about. And then seeing how social media had been instrumental in bringing the rape coverup to light... oh yea Anonymous was there. So I found the threads and saw their outrage & hard work digging & mirroring and no way all those anons were women so again male feminists were working towards ending rape culture. There were even discussions on that. The few who did the "yea but she was drunk" were shot down. At least one anon came out as a former steubenville resident who had had something similar happen to her and that such coverups were the norm. Anonymous is still watching that town. There's still active threads keeping track of anyone threatenning the victim and keeping track of any other coverups.
But back to my extreme laziness... I did zumba, laundry, and a bit of work on comic #4 which has been sitting unfinished for yonks. This is not logical. Work is riding my ass about cos sales again and even threatening to take me out of cos. And that awful job only brings me about $800 to $1000 a month. I've read that a website with decent reader numbers and ads running could generate that same amount and I wouldn't have to pressure people to buy anything. Granted I would need a lot of readers. One website said getting 3 cents per visitor was actually kinda high. Wow and wow. But still..... free to read comic. It's a lot easier to ask someone to just read something for free than it is to get them to buy yet more stuff they don't need.
In other news, daddie dearest apparently promised to pay off Bro's old cellphone account in exchange for labor and getting Bro on daddie dearest's account plan, which I guess got daddie dearest a write-off or something. Well daddie dearest did not fulfill his promise & now Bro has collection agencies after him. Is it wrong that sometimes I want to be a millionaire just so I can finally have the power to make him SUCK IT? To get the court officials to see how much furniture daddie stole? Or the child support he never paid? Or how he married the lawyer he used against Mom and how daddie's dad paid for stepmom's law school? Altho I guess maybe stepmom didn't represent daddie in that...it just feels like she did.
And why does my right nipple hurt so much? It feels like it's on fire or something.
Anyway..... yea I'm wondering why I don't have any motivation lately.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Note to NeoHippie: hi! For some reason your blog shows as the full version instead of the mobile version so I can't comment but I was able to read most of it. Rapists should have potato peelers taken to their dicks and dull plastic sporks taken to their balls and then they should have to eat their own boyparts! Death is too good for them!
Gypsy Rose does rock ^_^
Gypsy Rose does rock ^_^
cheap ass scale!
Am really pissed at my scale right now. If I stand according to the diagram, I'm 188 but if I just movve my heels together without changing anything else I'm suddenly 191. Grrr! That's a huge difference! And unless mass can spontaneously appear out of nowhere it seems logical that the heavier weight is the more accurate. Just how the hell do these electric scales work?
Got an idea....I'm gonna put a gallon of water on the scale and slide it around.
..... as soon as this blasted cat stops climbing all over the scale. He seems 13.2 lbs. And now he's 13 exact. But the water gallon gets 8.6 no matter where I put it. I guess the heavier objects just confuse the scale more? I think I should keep my heels together. Or do both ways and record the range. As long as the overall range goes down....
Ugh I miss the big old fashioned slider scale daddie dearest had when I was a kid.
Gonna meet the fam at a zumba class later. Having diabetes in the genes has freaked Mom & Bro out so we & Bro's gf are all trying out zumba later. So I need to go find my gym stuff. Later.
Got an idea....I'm gonna put a gallon of water on the scale and slide it around.
..... as soon as this blasted cat stops climbing all over the scale. He seems 13.2 lbs. And now he's 13 exact. But the water gallon gets 8.6 no matter where I put it. I guess the heavier objects just confuse the scale more? I think I should keep my heels together. Or do both ways and record the range. As long as the overall range goes down....
Ugh I miss the big old fashioned slider scale daddie dearest had when I was a kid.
Gonna meet the fam at a zumba class later. Having diabetes in the genes has freaked Mom & Bro out so we & Bro's gf are all trying out zumba later. So I need to go find my gym stuff. Later.
Friday, March 1, 2013
oh hai PMS
I was 189 still when i woke up today (today meaning feb 28 as it's now 6am on March 1st cuz bad me) which is actually amazing considering all the hormone-urged pigging out i did the past like 3 days running now.
In a sad attempt to keep my mouth away from chocolate, i pulled up the old fashion swagvids... they got some Spring 2013 runway vids now.
And I promptly got really mad at the designers....
armani prive haute couture ready-to-wear spring 2013 in paris i think... holy hell those models are anorexic! i can tell by the very pronounced shoulder bones. fuck you armani for insisting on those poor models being so thin! you refused to hire anyone who wasn't dying!!
Elie Saab models don't look quote so bony. some do, but it still isn't jumping out at me quite as much. still insanely thin but it also looks like some of them could just be really young girls who are doing the whole rapid growth spurt thing where your metabolism really is just that fast. I was once that thin, and after the abusive situations finally went away and i started eating normally.. i was still very thin for a few years. teens to early 20s can be that thin and still be healthy. wish i had enjoyed those years more. Too bad i was so ashamed of my looks and my body back then. i looked pretty good for a twisted spine and glasses and braces. So thin! Pixie like.
Sooooo sad about Alexander McQueen. When he died, his label basically went with him. I would never have worn anything of his anyway, but I could still see a strange beauty in his pieces. Like something a fabulous villain in World of Warcraft would wear.
Now? Now the whole label either copies something vaguely Gaga-esque or tries to be "inspired" by some slightly horror-movie-ish clip. Bees? Flies? Ugh.
Miu Miu has me thinking of overdressed doctors trying to impress. But the "music" sounds like club meets attempt-at-classy-on-mushrooms. I am confused.
Louis Vuitton Spring 2013- Oh look! It's Kerli's Playhouse! and yea this does make me think of Kerli. Very strange but kinda innocent-strange. Also... escalators? On a runway? Where was this set up?
Paco Rabanne spring 2013- clubwear. even club music. and holy crap that model is all bone.
This is the world that poor Ana Regzig works in. is it any wonder she has an eating disorder? i think it's required in fashion. ugh!
Vivienne Westwood-... what.. the .... hell.... i don't get it. in what universe is this "ready to wear"? is this supposed to be a hot mess version of different ethnic groups? Why the black paint on black models and white paint on white models and don't get me started on that HAIR! And damn these girls are bony. Walking skeletons. Oh look... the "designers" who demand stick thin models but are clearly fat themselves. That pisses me off. Designers should be forced to be as small as the models they hire. This is fucking insane. it would take about 8 models to fit in just one pant leg. Maybe if designers had to wear their "designs" we wouldn't have models dying from eating disorders!
Valentino- not bad. Kinda like some of the dresses. the music is kinda pretty, doesn't sound like club crap. The girls don't all look ready to fall over.
Saint Laurent- yet another clubwear look with club soundtrack. i guess "edgy" is in vogue again? or is this guy trying to poke fun at witches and androgyny?
Jean Charles De Castelbajac spring 2013- club music again. and more clubwear, right down to the makeup. Club clothes meets resort? some pieces look interesting, but nothing looks all that comfy or timeless.
is it me or has fashion, at least in some ways, (or maybe it's just some "designers")become just about being disposable? You buy clothes and wear them for a few months and that's that. Where is the "vision" in that? Why would you identify with a collection if it's meant to be thrown away? What happened to the concept of good quality clothes that last for years? Why would anyone want such a disposable way of living?
Chanel- i like the little cropped jacket things, well they look like cropped jackets but maybe they are just visual tricks. I have a little cropped jacket i got from a Fair Trade organization called Gypsy Rose a few years back. I like that look of a cropped jacket over a longer sheath. it seems to minimize my deformities. But what is up with those clear Frizbee hat things?
And I'm bored..... skipping to New York Fashion Week Spring 2013.... where is New York.. I see Milan fashion week vids.. wow Cristiano Burani has some damn bony models too.. didn't Milan ban anyone below 18.5 BMI from being on a catwalk? I see that didn't last long. ... .... ok.... i see more movie sh*t... ok some New York... where is Charlotte Ronson??? I know she presented.... she's not in the swagvids... what the hell? And now London vids? WTF??? I'll have to find her on one of the big fashion sites where everything loads so damn slooowwwwww for me. Crap.
off to browse at sephora.com then cuz I'm broke so of course I want to buy yet more makeup that I totally don't need. Oh hey Charlotte's line has two new sets. Oooo and the sets are of full-sized items. I bought her Perfect Nude set, even tho i've only tried the lipgloss (pretty color, so now i have 2 of her glosses and like both) and now she has a set with yet another gloss that i don't have, and the 3x a Charm luminizer/blush/bronzer thing, plus the usual eyeshadow (tho again one I don't have) and eyeliner (don't have) so yea here I am wanting it. Cuz I totally need it (no i don't)
The other set has her cream bronzer, which i have & love, and her Closer powder (also have & love) and the hair spray I tried and was mostly in love with cuz it did give my hair such good texture. But the nice beachy smell in the bottle turned weird & old-lady-flowery on me. Which is weird, because the matching rollerball fragrance worked great on me when i tried it in store. It smelled like my old childhood beach visits, one of my few happy memories being with Mom and Bro and mom's friend (who was like a crazy loveable aunt to us) on a beach on a big lake and the rollerball was all sunscreen and salt water and happy associations. So i dunno why the hair spray doesn't smell right on me.
And i'm thinking of getting that set too. i know i'll like 3 of the 4 items for sure so... i dunno.
Gah! Bad Honor! I AM POOR I NEED TO STOP DOING THIS!
I need to go to bed!
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