I'm slacking off on my class too, sabotaging myself yet again..
I am afraid of graduating. It's like... if I get the damn degree.. well then what? It's like great things are expected of a college degree holder... and I'm scared of that... that I'll fail yet again at getting a "real job" with said degree.
And what will I aim for if I graduate?
How will I define myself if "college student" no longer applies?
And what of the socializing I do there? My social circle is small, and is either work or school peeps.
And once someone leaves school I seriously do not see them again! The bi girl I'm crushing on is the one exception thus far.
It's depressing.
I'm isolated enough as it is!
How will i define myself?
So I'm lost, and scared, and I'm sabotaging myself yet again because I don't want to "grow up"
Unfortunatly.. I still age. Getting older and growing up aren't the same.
So since i fail...
dietwise... here's a link to some awesome tips by Ana Regzig
She rocks.
And since I'm also broke.. I asked Depth Perfection about the ads on her blog. I do sometimes think about putting a few ads up, see if it helps pay the electricity, and she said that thus far Google hasn't come after her for her blog's content. But my humble blog, which is nearing 300 posts, only has about 8000 total views and has existed for what.. a year? 8000 views for 300 posts and a year old? Sounds like ads would be silly at this point. Maybe later? Either way i'll keep Hyberbole's rules in mind.. especially about no popups ever.
( http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/someone-should-probably-kill-this-post.html)
and since i want to see something pretty when I'm feeling sad and fail and broke and scared and fat and ugly...
Here's the first Ronster pic I ever found, tho technically they have never confirmed that they're dating.. I can tell cuz i'm nosy *glares at self*...anyway.... Erin is in the middle, I'm sure we all recognize Samantha by now ^_^.. and I'm not sure who the girl on the left is... but she looks familiar.
I should probably know who she is.. ooops.
this next one is cute....
I'm betting this pic was mostly taken cuz that's Nicole Richie in the yellow thing kneeling in the middle of the pic.. it's almost like Sam was not even noticed... except by nosy peeps like me... *glares at self again for being nosy*
Here's one from a DJ gig.. in Vegas I think..anyway the casino/whatever she DJ'ed decided to give her a cake.
Fun little sidenote, around the same time Erin made a snarky tweet about feeling left out because of her lack of implants.
Heee..well I think it's obvious Samantha prefers them natural.
This was their first time publicly holding hands, when they knew there were cameras. Unless I missed one?
Anyway this is at the launch party for Charlotte's makeup line at Sephora. Erin's birthday was either on the same day or very close to it.. sooo there was this ^_^
Samantha and Erin actually weren't seated next to each other, as Samantha was at the head table. But she moved for Erin blowing out her candle.
She also led the room in singing Happy Birthday awww ^_^
Also.. Nicole Richie is old-time friends with the Ronson twins. Charlotte even named an eyeshadow palette after Nicole.
And one more.. of Sam trying to get the hell outta the pap frenzy.. I think they were just picking up coffees in this set. They were in Malibu over July 4th weekend at Erin's father's place.
Erin loooves her Starbucks.
Samantha doesn't like coffee. She's a tea drinker, seems to prefer iced tea, at least that's what her drinks tend to look like.
I love the little sneakers on her rearview mirror.
Ok..... I still fail. I still suck and I have a class tomorrow that I am NOT prepared for, and i skipped all last week.
Did I mention i fail?
But these girls are pretty....
I've been tempted by the ads, too. Then I think about how I'd feel if some stupid fucking wanarexic came by my blog, read about depression and eating issues and saw an ad for diet pills. Lol, I'm just assuming Google would give me diet pill ads. Pretty much every site with a high percentage of female traffic gets weight loss and dating ads :/
ReplyDeleteAnd yoghurt. Have you notice that you NEVER see men eating yoghurt in those ads? Its always chicks FFS!
I may be able to do something about the glove situation. *Strokes chin* Hmmm. . .
Spuddy was probably just gonna be chucked in the bin since this flat doesn't have a compost heap. It does deserve an honourable burial, but it goes against everything Dad taught me about Good Compost Heap Management. (Put your lawn clippings on, no bones to keep animals away, no thistles, if it came out of someone else's dirt don't put it in in case it has blight, coffee grounds are KING) Eh, I'll go bury it in the town belt and freak out some poor gardener XD
Spinning wheels let you spin for longer at a time and you can do all sorts of fun things with the yarn you make if you're not stopping to wind it into the stick all the time. If I get a good spin going I still have to stop when it's touching the ground, so I have to wind it on every 50-100cm -.- Annoying, but its still fun and good for your arms! Drop spindles are way more portable though. I could theoretically whip it out in a bus and get my spin on!
Go sleep, go to class and STOP SKIPPING. After you graduate you will have lots of time to do what you want. Trust me.
<3
I followed the example post thing to Hyperbole and a Half and ended up reading "spaghetti nadle" for like 20 minutes lmfao
ReplyDeleteP.S.
ReplyDeleteI love you.
NOW GO TO CLASS.
<3
"I am afraid of graduating. It's like... if I get the damn degree.. well then what? It's like great things are expected of a college degree holder... and I'm scared of that... that I'll fail yet again at getting a "real job" with said degree.
ReplyDeleteAnd what will I aim for if I graduate?
How will I define myself if "college student" no longer applies?"
If this helps, try not to consider what others expect of you. Frankly, it's none of their business. If you decide you don't much fancy graduate jobs after all, that's fine. If you decide that you do want a graduate position, that's fine too. It's fine if you want to do something completely unrelated to your degree.
And as far as defining yourself goes, you'll discover that as you go along. The general idea is that you do define yourself, rather than letting others and their expectations define you.
And there's no set list of things you must do to discover who you are and what you want to be, there probably won't be one "AHA!" moment of realisation. It's usually a slow process. Personally, I wouldn't think too hard about it. It's one of those things that tends to happen naturally, if you let it.