Uuunnggghhh... am on phone at work, spending my break in the bathroom. Guess what? I'm bleeding! Already?! I need to start charting these things better...I swear it feels like the womanly cycles are getting shorter.
Boobies hurt a few days ago, which was my warning. They always get kinda sore before the evil red aunt flo visits. Bras get real painful...good thing I'm small enough to go without (unless I'm working out. Even small ones bounce)
So I feel like shit. Pigged out on chocolate last night which doesn't help. Getting some Motrin and a bit more chocolate and my tuna salad lunch kit things. Yummy and no cooking. I get a rare day off tomorrow and I'm betting I'll be lazy. And I'll eat whatever will fill my tummy up enough to take a pain pill.
I swear the cycles are getting shorter.

<3 to Peri for basically telling me to post my pic no matter how horrid it is :)

Waiting For Bandwidth

Looks like blogger is back. Am on phone anyway tho. Uncle has his kids over so there's like no bandwidth for me. Really hope he moves out soon.
Meanwhile I'll play on my bedroom comp I guess. My long-suffering brother exxplained how to plug my phone into my comp. He gets his pics off that way. Turns out my phone's charger cord comes apart. The prongs box comes off and there's a USB thing under there. So my charger is basically a UsB cable plugged into the prongs box. Oops. I feel dumb. If i'd taken a closer look at the cord before now I would have seen that. I feel dumb.

But that means I can start building up a folder of images for my cartoons, like how Mich has recognisable pics within hers. Lil houses made of girl scout cookie boxes and her evil Cocoa Pebbles.

When I got home from work a few nights ago, before Blogger crashed. I was looking at my needs-moderation comments and Mich had good-naturedly complained that she was waiting for mspaint pics with decreasing patience! Since my brain didn't want to sleep yet anyway (but I was hurting everywhere else!) I started experimenting again. I finally figured out how she gets those pics of food in her paintings. And then Blogger crashed. And I lost the comments I had not approved. Peri and baby sis's comments have been restored since then but Blogger hasn't put Mich's comments back yet. Waaaaa!

Well anyway I do have a pic that is very obviously a beginner's pic down on the internet computer, but I still don't know if I want to post it. It's one of those looking-down-from-ceiling things and I can't figure how to get perspective right or how to fill in the floor and my cat looks flat and the whole thing looks oddly Picasso-ed. And don't get me started on my attempt at creating a messy clothes pile. Ugh.

On the other hand, I also copy-pasted two of my fave Samantha pics into it. I should post it for that. And well...as far as my mspaint skills go I definitely can't get any worse.

Just waiting for the bandwidth.

Hugs to baby sis, Harlow and dayofmine for encouraging words and empathy. Welfare Slags....perfect phrase. So descriptive.
Hugs to Peri for the notalwaysright.com website. That is good therapy! Can anyone make a submission or do I sign up? It's probably on the website but I was too busy reading stories and laughing. Excellent site for anyone dealing with the frustrations of retail/customer service etc.

Got just over an hour til I'm going in for another wageslave day. I had yesterday off and spent most of it either sleeping or watching Mary Poppins over and over. Blogging time was spent laughing at that website.
But I did get the chocolate packed up and downstairs. Yay! Well 99.9% of it anyway. I since found a half-full bag of dove dark chocolate promises that I ate up.
Willpower, oh willpower, where art thou?
Oh right...burned up at work in my efforts to not snap into a homicidal rage.
But at least the rest of my disturbingly large chocolate stash is....stashed. if I go bingey, it'll take a lot more effort to get the chocolate out. I'm hoping my laziness will cancel the bingey urge ot at least drive the binge to my low-cal Pastellines and lollipops and fruit juices and icy water. I've noticed that when I refrigerate water in a recently-emptied fruit juice bottle, the water picks up a hint of the fruit taste. It's very nice.

Lesigh...time to go put my mask on.

Uuhhhhgg.... I can haz desk job nao?
This sucks I am so unhappy. Day after day of stress workdays turn int o binging when I get home. My feet feel like bloody stumps and all I wanna do is sit in the recliner and watch silly movies and stuff my face. As if a full belly will make my feet and legs hurt less.
I burn up my willpower just trying to act happy happy at work cuz customers only want happy slaves waiting on them and ofc the corporate slavers only want happy slaves working for minimum wage. Who cares that so many of my coworkers have food stamp cards? If I didn't live w my mom i'd be on food stamps too. Grrr! People who work should not be so poor.
And the lazy assholes who don't work shouldn't have all their bills paid for them. I get so pissed everytime I see one of those welfare queens. You know the type. Super long nails and a D&G knockoff bag and wild fancy designs airbrushed on those nails and usually lots of makeup. Hair can be any length. But is in a "trendy" cut. The nails are the dead giveaway tho. Nails so long they have trouble using a pen or pushing buttons. Nails too long to allow any work.
My reaction to super long nails is of disgust. And the fancier the paint job, the greater the disgust. How much money does it take to maintain those claws? They have the thickness of acrylics but the random growth pattern of natural nails. So probably natural w acrylic laid over and just "filled in" over and over as the nail grows.
Do thos lazy bitches even try to find jobs? Or do they spend all their time in the nail salon?
And my break is over. Sigh. Back to the grindstone. My schedule is not letting up. Those. Blissful 4-days-off-in-a-row seems gone forever.

@ Peri- tablet? Huh? Whenever I attempt Bloggy-McDoodleness (haha love it!) It's a mouse and my twitchy hand and the screen. Ya mean there are tools that could make this easier? Crap! I'm doomed.
Ah well I try anyway. It's fun! But this old comp, whenever I try to convert a bitmap to jpg or something...the colors go wonky! And whole colors get removed and changed to something else! Ahhhhhh! Wish I knew more about how Mich did it. I should bug her about it.
But wait....I owe her a reading of the Fairy Queen. Should do that first. It's not a chore ^_^ I'm just stuck working crazy fucked up hours for the next 3 weeks! I close tonight and I open in the morning and I can't fucking sleep! Sigh.
Mom was watching Schindler's List when I came home. Just the song is enough to make me cry.
She put in the special features from the Mary Poppins dvd so i'd have happy thoughts to sleep on.
I like happy endings. Always have. I wish the Jews could have a happy ending. 6 million killed that we know of (there were probably more) in that genocide. Isn't it enough yet? Can't they get their happy ending now? They're not warlike. They're perfectly happy to be ignored and left alone. They're a bit like hobbits that way (don't tell them I said that tho...I dunno how'd they'd take it)
Jews don't get pushy. They don't try to convert people. You ever have a pair of Jews knock on your door to give you their literature? Actually they'd probably get even more annoyed at jehovah's witnesses xD
Why can't they just be left in peace? The Amish don't have nearly so much trouble.

The leftover easter candy went 75 percent off and I was naughty. Mom and uncle claimed a fair share of it tho. It's cool...I don't need it anyway. As it is I pigged out on hershey symphony bars and animal crackers. And later took lotsa pics of my flappy flabby fatty belly. And yea...it is fat. I know perception can be problematic here.....but my belly is fat. And yet my limbs are so small. The contrast is eye-popping. I gotta find how to get the pics posted. I put a quarter on my wrist back when I was 175 and the wrist was just as small then. Peeps at work think i'd blow away in a slight breeze. But it's all in the damn stomach! And I can dress to hide it. My legs are still fairly slender! Gah fucking apple shapes!!
Must at least try to sleep.

My fave luna bar flavors are white chocolate macadamia, and then smores and caramel nut brownie. The last 2 are tied w each other.
I freely admit they taste much better when eaten first. And even better when you're really hungry.
But eat any real food first and the luna bar tastes very different.

I've been experimenting with ms paint. 10 minutes? Mich must have cartoon creation down!! Cuz I was making a digital mess! I can't get anything to look right. Skin colors don't lookb right at all unless you want the orange lohan look >_<
Not happy with my cartoon hair color.
I try later with the big downstairs computer. My bedroom comp is so old it has an 18 gig hard drive.

I walked to school today to pay my bill. Then walked back. I was trying to undo the damage of a mint chocolate cookie binge (why isn't the damn chocolate packed up?)
Also been going nuts on the luna bars. I now have one left. And a small fistful of luna minis, but the minis are 80cal and 11g carbs.

Don't think I'm gonna hit the 160 goal this Saturday. But I do work the next 4 days in a row...so less time to eat. We'll see.
I hate working sundays. Hate working weekends in general.

I should be sleeping...... ugh. But y'all get a food review out of it :)

Ok..really hate work. I had the closing shift and shortly after I got there I was told to come in at 9am the next day instead of at noon. And I'm being pulled out of cosmetics again to work front register.
Apparently the resident fatass found out at the last possible minute that she had to go to court on may 3. Seriously? Courts aren't known for being fast....and she didn't know until 4pm may 2 that she had to go to court on may 3?
Riiiiiiight.

And I can't sleep cuz I slept til past noon and I'm afraid to take the melatonin since I won't get 8 hours sleep uninterrupted.
So I had my 10cal joint supp drink thru work and when I got home at like 1030 at night I chowed down on 4 Luna bars and half a bag of turkey jerky. Well...better than touching the chocolate that is still all over my room.
Then while looking (and finding) the small tupperware-knockoff I carry my protein mix in...I found two lil Skinny Cow treats. They had an intro price of like 40 cents so I got one of each. The Dreamy Clusters were very good. Crispy and chocolatey with a bit of soft melty caramel.120 per serving (they were sold individually aka "open stock")
At 120 cals a packet 50fat cals 6g fat 20g carbs and 3g fiber w 9g sugar and 1g protein..it's definitely a treat. I guess I should call this a candy review ^_^
Next I tried Skinny Cow heavenly crisp candy bar- milk chocolate flavor
Omg omnomnomnomn yummy!! Smooth creamy chocolate with the gentle soft crisp of wafers.
110cals 50fat cals 6g fat 14g carbs w 1g fiber 9g sugar 1g protein
The catch is how tiny the servings are. There were like 5 lil nuggets in the 1oz clusters packet, and the bar was less than an ounce.

Tasty tasty...but dunno if i'd be willing to pay full price ^_^