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Saturday, September 1, 2012

THIS BITCH!!

Quick sidenote: is anyone else having issues w their "needs moderation" comments not loading? Or is it just my phone being difficult?

Anyway.... to my main point... THIS SELFISH, SOCIOPATHIC BITCH!!
http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/30/showbiz/taylor-trailer-trashed/index.html?c=showbiz

BOYCOTT LIFETIME!! At least until they cough up the cash for the damage their "star" inflicted on this trailer. This trailer was a piece of movie and pop culture history. And it was *not* owned by Lifetime and they were fucking negligent in caring for it. There's no way crackberry snortcake will ever have to pay anything... we've all seen how she gets away with everything. She must have some serious blackmail on someone in power to keep getting away. But maybe Lifetime could be made to pay? I mean if you're a producer, and you need to rent some props, how easy is renting going to be if you have a history of not taking care of someone else's property? Who would rent to someone with a history of trashing rented property?

Not much else going on. Wasted days again. Just don't do anything... I oversleep right thru my alarms and then stay up all night and nothing gets done at night. Why am I so lazy? I can't afford this laziness. There's a crack across my windshield. It started as a deep gouge low on the passenger side.... too low and too far over for me to see it. Combine that with how little I drive.... and I had a crack grow across 3/4 of my windshield. I'll probably have to replace it at this point. Damn, I wish I had a garage. Is there some sort of protective windshield covering for when it gets all stormy out?
I'm working on Labor Day ofc, but after that, since delivery day is gonna change, I'm going down hours wise. Cuz i'd planned for classes on the new truck delivery day. Even tho I still can't get my ass down to the counselor's office. Ugh...just thinking about my transcript makes me want to play Sims. Constant reminders of my failures and flakiness. I sooo just want to forget it all. What good would any of those majors do anyway? And I don't need a degree to write...the experiences of taking those classes is enough to draw on...
which brings me to my comic and how little I've done on it...

Dear Unconcious Mind,
Thank you for keeping me from doing something I apparently don't want to do. Would you do me a favor and tell me why I don't want to work on it? Thanks.

Maybe it's just fear of failure again. What if no one likes my writing? What if t say I suck? I'm no good? And I soooo have Back to the Future in my head now. I seem to have a few readers here... and clearly you're all drunk or you wouldn't be here ^_^ .. so... idk. I have ideas and random scenes and I have added to my sketchbook/notebook and even typed a few quick notes into a txtfile on my phone while at work.

Fuck me.... something just clicked.
I'm told people write best when we write from our passions and experiences. But how honest can I safely be? My notebook even has the beginnings of a character with an ed and her background is damn near identical to mine. And I really would like to slip her in there. It kinda feels like by doing that I could sort of exorcise some of the shit daddie dearest & stepdaddie dearest put me through. But if people in person knew I was writing it..... i'd feel pressured to either be less honest or i'd get harassed or something. After my story's out there then hah hah that's that.... but I crumble under pressure and I don't want to be pressured into not telling the stories I need to. It feels like this is my problem.... yes... this feels like the bullseye. I guess I'll just have to hide my comic too, in a sense. No promoting it to peeps I know in person, at least not for a looong time... but I can still promote it online at sites where they don't know my real name, don't kknow me in person. And online promotion is easier for shy peeps anyway.
I can do this! Must say it til I believe it. I can do this!

and there is a ladybug or something that looks like a ladybug flying around my room and driving my cat insane.looks like I might not get sleep tonight either. Damn.... I work later!

1 comment:

  1. Is that comments you submit that that need moderation or not being able to view comments on your blog that you need to moderate? The former won't show until the blog owner clicks "publish" and the latter um *scratches head* Phone and script problem?

    "Only a psychotic and rebellious person or people would steal irreplaceable museum belongings and leave it in this vandalized condition," Or a spoiled rich brat with an entitlement complex! FUCK THEM. JUST FUCK THEM.

    I'm not drunk. I've has two sips of vodka since November last year. I like your writing, you're interesting.

    With the comic: I'd say write something you'd want to read, and fuck everyone else. That's what Tolkien did. That's what C.S. Lewis did. I'm pretty damn sure that's what Neil Gaiman did in his spare time. That way you're keen and interested and engaged in the project.

    You could spread the exorcism between several characters, or include other characters with problems you've had to deal with from the outside? Like watching someone's ridiculously melodramatic drama over who-kissed-who drunk at a party and OMG BRO I DID A KICKFLIP 360 etc?

    If it's an outlet then remember the online audience isn't less judgemental, but there will be less chance of contamination/crossover IRL and the potential audience is much bigger and you get to vent with nobody the wiser.

    Ok no ear-tapping :p

    I don't know how to install the airship mod. Modloder would be able to help, but they should have instructions on the forum thread for the mod. Get the pets on your platform and make them sit? Taint is specific to Thaumcraft. I'm cheating like a pro trying to clean it up but GAH IT TAKES AGES. Fucking hate thaumcraft SO MUCH. I want it out of Technic.

    You upload the skin to the Minecraft website, but it only shows up on your character when you're playing while connected to the internet. Sucky!

    http://www.worldtimezone.com/
    I'm UTC+12, you're UTC-5? So you're 17 hours behind me? Bloody hell!

    Hope you get some sleep and a decent day at work. Love you! <3

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