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Sunday, September 30, 2012

why cant i sleeeeep?

Waaaaaa............. this sucks. So damn tired I actually got a hesdache and took a motrin.
And I'm crashing off yet another sugar binge. Forgot how addicting the Whatchamacallit bars are mmmmmmmmmm.
On the good noms side... I really love squash soup! I liked the discontinued acorn squash & mango soup, and I really like the butternut squash soup. Mom says I liked squash as a baby too. I was always happy to eat more, to where I turned my diapers orange haha. And been lovving the chocolate almondmilk.... alongside actual chocolate *sigh*
My poor body is very annoyed at me. My knees and ankles hurt. I've been walking to work, sometimes get a ride home from a very sweet coworker who was hired around same time I was. She's such a doll, always willing to help anyone who needs it.
Anyway...
This has to stop. I weigh too much and this sugar addiction is making me sick. I also need to stop buying shit. Yea my totals have been getting smaller... only $3 spent today (technically yesterday) but it was all chocolate. And my left ankle is threatening to cramp up.
I have about 2 maybe 3 months' worth of birth control pills. They're kinda old but I'm gay so preventing pregnancy wouldn't be a worry even if I was sexually active. What I'm hoping is the bc pills will encourage my body to not shrink the boobs, to burn off the belly instead. I'm barely a b cup as it is. I don't want to get even smaller!
Think I can lose 40lbs in 3 months?
Mom would definitely notice... especially if she brings home pizza. Eeks.
I found a case & a half of spring vegetable cup a soups I forgot I had. At 45cals and 8g carbs per serving... I could stuff the cupboard with them and just focus on eating those until gone. Think she'd notice? So long as I'm eating something.... ??
Could try the ketosis again... i'd still have to dodge pizza and various leftovers but I coould eat other stuff.
I bought one of the game hens from walmart. How do I cook the thing? I thought I could microwave it cuz it's so small..... but the only directions on it are for oven. Ovens tend to dry meat out. Can't I boil it or something? Or cover it in a big waterfilled pot in the oven? I dunno.... sigh.
40lbs in 3 months... I suck at math.... what is that, like 3lbs a week or something? It should be doable. I just gotta get some self control, damnit!
Why can't I sleeeep?

1 comment:

  1. Oh man! That sucks! i'm glad she gives you rides sometimes :) Feet UP when you get home, or lie on your back and stick your feet in the air for a few minutes?

    Stick your feet up in the air and wave 'em round like you just don't care!

    I would GLADLY donate you some of my boobage. If Dad hadn't sent me to get bashed on my Rowan those fuckers would have had me on the sickness benefit years ago. ("Small girl with big boobs" syndrome. I couldn't even lift the jug to make tea!)

    40 pounds is 18kg, right? that would be 1.5kg/week, just outside the definitely do-able range for pure fat loss. Aim for .5kg-1kg a week (500-1000cal deficit per day) to make sure your metabolism keeps going and your body doesn't freak out and start storing everything. It's against pretty much everything ED wants us to do, but it's how I've shifted 18lbs since April.

    Think of it like a marathon, not a sprint. Slow and stead wins the race :p Don't be like Dolly and her crash-diets. Sure she lost 2kg every time she went on one, but she gained 3 back as soon as she went back to normal coz she had lost muscle and slowed her metabolic rate!

    Consistency is key. Or so the peebs at AwesomeGym have been bashing into my head for the last 5 years. You pick up a lot by contamina-um association? ^.^;

    To keep moisture in a roast in the over try covering the roasting dish with tinfoil? Gah, I'm no cook. Hie thyself to Google, fair maiden!

    Sleepy song!
    http://youtu.be/MtFY7LshgDk

    Your logic is impeccable, mine is full of depression failsauce. Thank you *hugs*

    Omg I'd love to see laurie's reaction to her! Or my Dad. Omg! He had 5 at last count? You'd love his backpanel, topless witch on a broomstick with an owl familiar. the only colour is the owl's eyes. (That's his one for Mum. Mine is a cabbage-y failrose on his shoulder)

    Chattering kitties are so cute! Video it? Pretty please?

    I hope you have a good sleep tonight. Take care of yourself *huggles*

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