oh hai diabetes.....

Did it again. Why am I so weak? Tues was 2 big bowls of ice cream late at night while watching NCIS on dvd. Maybe cuz before the ice cream i'd only had a yogurt and the rest of the chocolate protein lus & some cheese?
But weds...what fail! I mean I knew there'd be some fail cuz weds seems to be the night Mom & Bro go out after church to a small local "greasy spoon" that is actually very good food at low prices. Everything's nice & fresh & their milkshakes are the best in the city.... but their menu is not remotely diet-friendly. So I had my last Power Crunch bar (still have other brand bars to eat up tho) and that was all I ate til the restaurant. Then I. Had a super yummy & huge sandwich they call. The Dagwood (if you'd ever read that comic strip the joke will click. Otherwise google the Dagwood character) and a bigh milkshake... and then lots wonderful talk. My Bro is soooo supportivve of me. If I can't motivate myself to comic for my own enjoyment... maybe I can add on how he wants to see me happy. I need to organize my time just a bit... get into a routine where I do a little comicing every day. My eyes can't take staring at that screen for long. Even when blogging I put the phone down and look elsewhere every couple minutes.
Anyway after dinner I went shopping. Groceries. Got milk and eggs and cheese and bologna, the oscar mayer pre-sliced stuff so i'd have something instantly available that was low carb when I need to stuff face.
Also got some more tiny bolthouse farms c-boost & chocolate protein plus. They don't expire til nov so that can be next womanlies.
Also got a little single serve 3pack of miso soup. It was insanely expensive for only 3 servings but I didn't want to buy a large amount of something I don't know if I'll like. Miso is also very salty it seems.
And I got a pack of glazed donut holes. It was $1 and I love glazed donut holes/donut balls. And yea the donut holes were inhaled with milk while watching Muppet Show dvds. So I've had 2 days of fail in a row. And mon wasn't so great either.
And this is why I'm so sadly overweight.
I kinda want to make some blogger cartoons... cuz I'm dealing with the mess in my head by dramatizing a fight between me & a red skeleton. Cuz yea.... there's a part of me that wants to stop eating altogether. And then the logical side says "you need to take in some nourishment or your muscles will be eaten up and that will wreck your metabolism!"
Right now I'm thinking a protein shake for late breakfast/brunch/lunch and an egg drop-cup a soup combo for dinner. I also got more chobani yogurts. My fave, strawberry, is 20g carbs but 14g protein which is better than I usually see in yogurt.
And I stayed up all night again. Not sure what all to do today (thurs) guess if Mom's here when I go for food I'll have yogurt. Otherwise I'll fix a protein shake and bring it to my room and try to draw a bit while I drink it.
Neeeed to figure out a gym schedule. See work is right between my house & my gym & I'm nervous about being seen & being caught thaat I'm not a student right now. Could I really disguise myself enough? I'd still be recognized from up close but maybe a different coat and I could hide if I'm only seen from a distance? I'm not sure.
I don't wanna carry all my shower stuff tho. And driving such a short distance is bad for my car. Guess I won't shower at the gym so much. It is nice to use my own shower even if it is tiny. It's got all my stuff already set up! Tho I do have shower caps if I change my mind ^_^
Should get at least some sleep....