Dear Self,
Get the fucking chocolate packed up and hidden!!
Love,
Self
Yea I fucked up again. Last hurrah I guess. Got a 5lb sprint ahead. Chocolate I ate was even soft cuz it's just too warm up here. Blah. My tummy hurts. I deserve it. Moron.
Anyway been thinking of what sort of cartoons I could do. Growing up in an abusive house wasn't much fun but illustrating it could be theraputic. But I want funny cartoons!
Imaginary adventures of Samantha Ronson and me?
or maybe just of Samantha?
My cats are pretty strange.
My dog is a sweetie and also an utter moron.
And maybe if I got decent at making the cartoons...remember back when I did the 10 things and I mentioned I wanted to put a show up on youtube? I could do a cartoon version. A youtube show would require lotsa people and someone with camera knowhow and editing knowhow and editing software and i'd need actors who have the time to do this and a place for us all to meet and all our schedules to line up..... wow.
But a cartoon would let me tell my silly stories, hopefully make someone laugh, and would only require me and my mspaint program ^_^
And my summer class doesn't start til june so I do have some time to play around with this.
And it's something to do on those days when work has exhausted my poor body but my brain won't shut up. After all I work retail...it's a braindead repetitive job that is physically tiring but mentally boring.
The only thing the cartoon would be missing is performances by the lead girl's band. I had that straight girl crush in mind because I wanted to show off her band. They're really good.
And the chocolate is kicking in. Ughhhhnnn.....
So yea...more ramblings. And the craving for yet more chocolate has passed. Yay. The binge still happened, but ... but at least it's not a double?
:/
I need to scrub the gel out of my hair. Maybe try to sleep.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
2 hours before I gotta go be a good lil wage slave. Munching on a 3oz bag of trail mix. Since it warmed up a bit and I quit wearing foundation it doesn't take me as long to get ready. Sunscreen and spf lip balm and some smeared eyeliner. Hair is still gelled up from yesterday so a quick brush and pin it up. Originally I was trying to use hair and makeup to look different at work than I did outside work but peeps still recognized me because of my glasses. Kinda hard to use makeup to change your face shape when you have glasses cuz they work against the makeup.
But guys sometimes think I'm being nice to them because I like then, like it doesn't occur to them that being nice is part of my job. Then they try to chat me up if they see me outside of work.
Sometimes I even get hit on during work. Freaky. And ofc these guys think they're God's gift or something...and I don't want to come out to a stranger and maybe get hunted down later. So R gets pressed into aacting as my boyfriend again. If I keep getting pressed I just say I'm with him. Heh. Sometimes when me and R and his actual girlfriend are all together, we girls put R between us and link arms. He gets kinda red having two women on his arms and the looks he gets from other guys is funny.
There was a baby shower today that I slept thru. I thought it was yesterday and got cancelled. Oh well, I'm sick and she's having a difficult pregnancy as it is. Last thing she needs is my illness. I have lost hearing in my right ear again, in addition to the usual runny itchy nose. And occasional sore throat.
Mom made cheeseccake last night. It's gonna get cut into tonight while uncle's boys are here and I'm stuck at work. Wonder if I'll get any? Probably just as well.
My feet are ugly. I grew up poor with ill-fitting shoes and my toenails are all wonky. Then sometime as a child I picked up a toenail fungus and I had that for *years*. Finally as an adult I got on lamasil and 9 of my toes cleared up (tho they still point in odd directions). But the middle right toe keeps growing in super-thick for some reason. At least it doesn't appear to be spreading. I've had this one thich weird nail for about 3 years and the others are still like they were post-lamasil. So I got one discolored nail and 9 clear-but-wonky nails. Fun fun.
Also got a scar on my left foot from accidently scraping against the shower door. Damn shower door won't even open all the way cuz it bumps into the sink. My bathroom is absurd. I should take a pic. Replacing the door with a curtain would help a little.
Is everyone grossed out yet? ^_^
This appetite-killer courtesy of my gross feet.
You're welcome.
But guys sometimes think I'm being nice to them because I like then, like it doesn't occur to them that being nice is part of my job. Then they try to chat me up if they see me outside of work.
Sometimes I even get hit on during work. Freaky. And ofc these guys think they're God's gift or something...and I don't want to come out to a stranger and maybe get hunted down later. So R gets pressed into aacting as my boyfriend again. If I keep getting pressed I just say I'm with him. Heh. Sometimes when me and R and his actual girlfriend are all together, we girls put R between us and link arms. He gets kinda red having two women on his arms and the looks he gets from other guys is funny.
There was a baby shower today that I slept thru. I thought it was yesterday and got cancelled. Oh well, I'm sick and she's having a difficult pregnancy as it is. Last thing she needs is my illness. I have lost hearing in my right ear again, in addition to the usual runny itchy nose. And occasional sore throat.
Mom made cheeseccake last night. It's gonna get cut into tonight while uncle's boys are here and I'm stuck at work. Wonder if I'll get any? Probably just as well.
My feet are ugly. I grew up poor with ill-fitting shoes and my toenails are all wonky. Then sometime as a child I picked up a toenail fungus and I had that for *years*. Finally as an adult I got on lamasil and 9 of my toes cleared up (tho they still point in odd directions). But the middle right toe keeps growing in super-thick for some reason. At least it doesn't appear to be spreading. I've had this one thich weird nail for about 3 years and the others are still like they were post-lamasil. So I got one discolored nail and 9 clear-but-wonky nails. Fun fun.
Also got a scar on my left foot from accidently scraping against the shower door. Damn shower door won't even open all the way cuz it bumps into the sink. My bathroom is absurd. I should take a pic. Replacing the door with a curtain would help a little.
Is everyone grossed out yet? ^_^
This appetite-killer courtesy of my gross feet.
You're welcome.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Pulled out my datebook to see when memorial day is.
Memorial day= gateway to summer.
It's may 30th
Getting ever closer.
Fuuuuuck.
I wanted to be at least 140 by then. But I've been fucking up too much. It really is a miracle that I still clock in at 165. I should be 175 with the Piggy McBingey thing I've had going on all fucking week.
Ugh...ok... what about 145 by memorial day? That's only 5lbs a week and I've still got a few days to finish up the easter dinner leftovers. Gonna have to do something about the chocolate. I bought it and I want to keep it, at least for the monthly gimme-chocolate-nao syndrome. (Plus my mom has even less self-control...and she's already diabetic so I do feel guilty about evven thinking of dumping my shopping mistakes where she can see)
I could put it in my mary kay bags and hide them in basement. It gets hot in my room and I do like storing my lipsticks and perfumes and other heat-sensitive stuff in the basement. And I have hidden chocolate that way before. Only problem is this time got uncle living in basement. He's supposedly moving out in june (finally!! I really hope he does!)
Also need a plan that won't arouse suspicion, will allow for dinner w fam on occasion (hopefully not every day) and will also protect muscle as much as possible.
I wonder if 5lbs a week would be too fast for my skin to shrink? My belly skin pulls up well enough when I suck my gut in.
Ok...well powerbar is gonna make its return and my protein powders are in too. I'd better pick up some 5hour energy before the sale ends. At a mere 4 calories a bottle it's a good way to keep myself going. It works like coffee for me. Damn thing is I still have Luna bars too. Much carby-er but soooo good. Guess I need to step down gradually anyway.
Ungh...ok so sometimes soon I need to go thru my mary kay stuff and get the heat-sensitive stuff all packed up (with chocolate snuck around it) and into unassuming bags and boxes and down into the nice cool basement. And Friday is my only day off this week. *and* at some point before may 2 I have a tuition bill due that has to be paid in person (cuz I don't trust that university anymore)
Fuck I'm tired just thinking about it.
Ok I need to try to get some sleep.
Memorial day= gateway to summer.
It's may 30th
Getting ever closer.
Fuuuuuck.
I wanted to be at least 140 by then. But I've been fucking up too much. It really is a miracle that I still clock in at 165. I should be 175 with the Piggy McBingey thing I've had going on all fucking week.
Ugh...ok... what about 145 by memorial day? That's only 5lbs a week and I've still got a few days to finish up the easter dinner leftovers. Gonna have to do something about the chocolate. I bought it and I want to keep it, at least for the monthly gimme-chocolate-nao syndrome. (Plus my mom has even less self-control...and she's already diabetic so I do feel guilty about evven thinking of dumping my shopping mistakes where she can see)
I could put it in my mary kay bags and hide them in basement. It gets hot in my room and I do like storing my lipsticks and perfumes and other heat-sensitive stuff in the basement. And I have hidden chocolate that way before. Only problem is this time got uncle living in basement. He's supposedly moving out in june (finally!! I really hope he does!)
Also need a plan that won't arouse suspicion, will allow for dinner w fam on occasion (hopefully not every day) and will also protect muscle as much as possible.
I wonder if 5lbs a week would be too fast for my skin to shrink? My belly skin pulls up well enough when I suck my gut in.
Ok...well powerbar is gonna make its return and my protein powders are in too. I'd better pick up some 5hour energy before the sale ends. At a mere 4 calories a bottle it's a good way to keep myself going. It works like coffee for me. Damn thing is I still have Luna bars too. Much carby-er but soooo good. Guess I need to step down gradually anyway.
Ungh...ok so sometimes soon I need to go thru my mary kay stuff and get the heat-sensitive stuff all packed up (with chocolate snuck around it) and into unassuming bags and boxes and down into the nice cool basement. And Friday is my only day off this week. *and* at some point before may 2 I have a tuition bill due that has to be paid in person (cuz I don't trust that university anymore)
Fuck I'm tired just thinking about it.
Ok I need to try to get some sleep.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Work's local fatass (serious reverse thinspo) called off and ofc the manager didn't even try to replace her so when I came in I got pulled out of my area and shoved up front.
Stuck standing just rinign ringing people out and the coupon bitches were out in force as were the wasteful assholes who want a bag for a single fucking lipstick. Then they wrap the bag up and stick it in their purses. Wtf did you want the bag for?
My back is killing me, my feet are throbbing. If I hadn't "forgotten" my credit card i'd probably have bought a fuckton of chocolate from the easter pile.
And as it is I put a few small pieces aside. Lindt had those milk chocolate w white truffle center ones for easter. I'm hiding the last bag for myself.
You know....I think there should be like a 5 cent charge for every plastic bag someone wants. Americans are so fucking wasteful....and plastic is made from oil. Isn't oil getting more expensive anyway?
It's not that hard to use the reuseable cloth bags. Hell I got one that folds down into a keychain. There is no excuse. Americans are just fucking lazy and wasteful.
Probably why we're the fattest, stupidest, and most gas-guzzling nation huh?
Stuck standing just rinign ringing people out and the coupon bitches were out in force as were the wasteful assholes who want a bag for a single fucking lipstick. Then they wrap the bag up and stick it in their purses. Wtf did you want the bag for?
My back is killing me, my feet are throbbing. If I hadn't "forgotten" my credit card i'd probably have bought a fuckton of chocolate from the easter pile.
And as it is I put a few small pieces aside. Lindt had those milk chocolate w white truffle center ones for easter. I'm hiding the last bag for myself.
You know....I think there should be like a 5 cent charge for every plastic bag someone wants. Americans are so fucking wasteful....and plastic is made from oil. Isn't oil getting more expensive anyway?
It's not that hard to use the reuseable cloth bags. Hell I got one that folds down into a keychain. There is no excuse. Americans are just fucking lazy and wasteful.
Probably why we're the fattest, stupidest, and most gas-guzzling nation huh?
Monday, April 25, 2011
There was another quick post by milady Regzig, a quick oneliner about showbiz being the world's best corset. I'm still hoping that really is her posting. Two short posts in a row, one day apart. Is she afraid? Her last few posts before she dissappeared talked about how she'd suffered an intervention. She'd been sent to "recovery" and was not allowed to leave until she'd hit a minimum weight of 120lbs. That she was afraid she was still being watched.
In fact her very last post before she vanished was about aiming for a small 30hour fast. And then she was gone.
Maybe she's afraid that someone not ana-friendly found her blog? And maybe she's right?
Damn that has me sad. Her right to free speech is being taken away!
And now I'm getting mad. She has a right to free speech! She isn't doing hate speech. She's not trying to incite people to violence and she has never encouraged non-anas to become anorexic! She openly admits that anorexia kills!
Why is she not allowed to talk about her thoughts and her life and her job??
We already know that thinner girls get more jobs in hollywood and fashion. So why can't she talk about that reality and what she *has* to do in order to keep her job? The fashion/entertainment world is run by a bunch of fucking hypocrites!
You know what else pisses me off? Why are anas singled out? Obesity is at record highs and yet it's us undereaters who are called "disordered" and thrown into clinics. Will someone please explain to me why it's more socially acceptable to be so fucking fat you need a scooter to go grocery shopping? Why are we the ones being called wrong here? Because we dare to point out that being fat is a choice?
Doesn't let fashion or hollywood off the hook tho. They're still hypocrites.
Imagine going to a makeup counter. You are looking for foundation. You try the foundations there and none of them match your skin tone. And then the makeup seller tells you to change your skin tone to match one of the foundations. Wouldn't you tell the makeup seller to go to hell?
So why are women expected to change our bodies to match fashion sizing?
Thoughts are kinda going everywhere. I'm just mad right now. My desire to be thin should come from myself...not from fashion telling me I don't deserve to wear their stuff.
In fact her very last post before she vanished was about aiming for a small 30hour fast. And then she was gone.
Maybe she's afraid that someone not ana-friendly found her blog? And maybe she's right?
Damn that has me sad. Her right to free speech is being taken away!
And now I'm getting mad. She has a right to free speech! She isn't doing hate speech. She's not trying to incite people to violence and she has never encouraged non-anas to become anorexic! She openly admits that anorexia kills!
Why is she not allowed to talk about her thoughts and her life and her job??
We already know that thinner girls get more jobs in hollywood and fashion. So why can't she talk about that reality and what she *has* to do in order to keep her job? The fashion/entertainment world is run by a bunch of fucking hypocrites!
You know what else pisses me off? Why are anas singled out? Obesity is at record highs and yet it's us undereaters who are called "disordered" and thrown into clinics. Will someone please explain to me why it's more socially acceptable to be so fucking fat you need a scooter to go grocery shopping? Why are we the ones being called wrong here? Because we dare to point out that being fat is a choice?
Doesn't let fashion or hollywood off the hook tho. They're still hypocrites.
Imagine going to a makeup counter. You are looking for foundation. You try the foundations there and none of them match your skin tone. And then the makeup seller tells you to change your skin tone to match one of the foundations. Wouldn't you tell the makeup seller to go to hell?
So why are women expected to change our bodies to match fashion sizing?
Thoughts are kinda going everywhere. I'm just mad right now. My desire to be thin should come from myself...not from fashion telling me I don't deserve to wear their stuff.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
SHE IS ALIVE!
Omfg everyone over to Dying to be Thin RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!
ANA REGZIG JUST POSTED!
It's a video that my phone can't view so that'll have to wait.
But omg she's alive!!
What a lovely Easter surprise for the ana community!
Excuse me while I go dance!
I do hope she isn't offended by my name. I meant to honor her.
Oh wow I totally need a sparkle font or something
Yayayayayayayayayayayyyy!
Wheeeeee!
ANA REGZIG JUST POSTED!
It's a video that my phone can't view so that'll have to wait.
But omg she's alive!!
What a lovely Easter surprise for the ana community!
Excuse me while I go dance!
I do hope she isn't offended by my name. I meant to honor her.
Oh wow I totally need a sparkle font or something
Yayayayayayayayayayayyyy!
Wheeeeee!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Wow. Yikes. And wow.
I am soooo glad Ana Regzig's blog had that link to ultimatefatburner dot com. Because I still read that site and they always have something interesting to say.
Like this!
http://blog.ultimatefatburner.com/ultimatefatburnercom/lights-action-burger/
I watched that video and remembered once Regzig posted that she did a food commercial where she had to eat a few stale, cold disgusting french fries and it was the perfect excuse to claim she had a stomachache. Yea...I wouldn't want to eat anymore either. Poor Regzig! I sure hope she didn't have to eat fries off toothpicks! Yuck undercooked fries!!
In my news....still bleeding still binging still sleeping. But had to share that vid before I went back to sleep ^_^
I am soooo glad Ana Regzig's blog had that link to ultimatefatburner dot com. Because I still read that site and they always have something interesting to say.
Like this!
http://blog.ultimatefatburner.com/ultimatefatburnercom/lights-action-burger/
I watched that video and remembered once Regzig posted that she did a food commercial where she had to eat a few stale, cold disgusting french fries and it was the perfect excuse to claim she had a stomachache. Yea...I wouldn't want to eat anymore either. Poor Regzig! I sure hope she didn't have to eat fries off toothpicks! Yuck undercooked fries!!
In my news....still bleeding still binging still sleeping. But had to share that vid before I went back to sleep ^_^
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Oh yay the monthly annoyance. So much for dropping 5 lbs by Friday. Bloaty bloaty ugh. Why do human females have to have a menstrual cycle so damn often? It's not like humans are in danger of extinction. And with a 9 month gestation it's not like she can have more than one full term pregnancy a year...so wtf?
Wtf, God? Why every month? Wtf?
Not much else to say. Work was work. Motrin is yay. I have had chocolate. Weakness sucks. And I am really tired.
Oh...I didn't wear makeup to work today...well I didn't wear my usual face. I skipped foundation and lipstick entirely, and only smeared on some black eyelinerr and I used a pink lipstick as a blush. And somehow I looked almost model-like....well above the neck anyway. The intermittent fasting is perhaps making my cheekbones a bit more pronounced? It was kinda cool.
I'm still a tub of lard below the neck but my face looked oddly nice today.
Charlotte posted a twitpic and looks like she and Annabelle and Samantha and some guy, possibly one of their bros but I couldn't see his face well....seems they all watched the Knicks play...whoever they played. Which sport do they belong to again?
Well I'm happy she was with family. I'm probably being silly but it just seems like she's safer when her siblings are around.
Zzzzz time
Wtf, God? Why every month? Wtf?
Not much else to say. Work was work. Motrin is yay. I have had chocolate. Weakness sucks. And I am really tired.
Oh...I didn't wear makeup to work today...well I didn't wear my usual face. I skipped foundation and lipstick entirely, and only smeared on some black eyelinerr and I used a pink lipstick as a blush. And somehow I looked almost model-like....well above the neck anyway. The intermittent fasting is perhaps making my cheekbones a bit more pronounced? It was kinda cool.
I'm still a tub of lard below the neck but my face looked oddly nice today.
Charlotte posted a twitpic and looks like she and Annabelle and Samantha and some guy, possibly one of their bros but I couldn't see his face well....seems they all watched the Knicks play...whoever they played. Which sport do they belong to again?
Well I'm happy she was with family. I'm probably being silly but it just seems like she's safer when her siblings are around.
Zzzzz time
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Food review!
Today I tried gatorade's protein shake from its new G Series FIT line.
The line has 3 steps, these little bites for "prep" for a workout, a bottle of electrolyte drink for during workout, and a protein chaser for post-workout.
I skipped the first 2 steps. I've just never been much of a gatorade fan. Don't like the taste or how it tends to make my throat feel dry.
But the protein shake had me curious. You know me and protein.
So...G series fit step 3: recover. Protein restorative smoothie.
It is smooth. It's easy on my stomach. You get 12g protein....and 14g total carbs...and 10g of that is sugar. It's 120cals for a 11.16oz box (each box is one whole serving) and they ain't so cheap. I got mine for the sale price of 2.50 it's normally almost $5 at work.
But it is easily digested, at least for me.
But I still can't stand the taste. At all.
I got the strawberry-banana and ewww...the banana half is decent but the "strawberry" is soooo fucking fake! Gag me! It's like that cheap dollor store candy that claims to be gourmet, crossed with the powdered suspensions I would get as a child to treat the respitory infections I got nearly every year.
Actually...no...those medicines taased a lot better.
I read thru the ingredients and nutrition info on all 3 steps and I won't be surprised if they do work as advertised.
But I'll stick w my raisins for prep, plain water during, and milk w protein powder after.
Cheaper..and I think it tastes better.
And less sugar ^_^
Today I tried gatorade's protein shake from its new G Series FIT line.
The line has 3 steps, these little bites for "prep" for a workout, a bottle of electrolyte drink for during workout, and a protein chaser for post-workout.
I skipped the first 2 steps. I've just never been much of a gatorade fan. Don't like the taste or how it tends to make my throat feel dry.
But the protein shake had me curious. You know me and protein.
So...G series fit step 3: recover. Protein restorative smoothie.
It is smooth. It's easy on my stomach. You get 12g protein....and 14g total carbs...and 10g of that is sugar. It's 120cals for a 11.16oz box (each box is one whole serving) and they ain't so cheap. I got mine for the sale price of 2.50 it's normally almost $5 at work.
But it is easily digested, at least for me.
But I still can't stand the taste. At all.
I got the strawberry-banana and ewww...the banana half is decent but the "strawberry" is soooo fucking fake! Gag me! It's like that cheap dollor store candy that claims to be gourmet, crossed with the powdered suspensions I would get as a child to treat the respitory infections I got nearly every year.
Actually...no...those medicines taased a lot better.
I read thru the ingredients and nutrition info on all 3 steps and I won't be surprised if they do work as advertised.
But I'll stick w my raisins for prep, plain water during, and milk w protein powder after.
Cheaper..and I think it tastes better.
And less sugar ^_^
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Ugh..fucking epic binge tonight. My chest hurts from the pressure. I was good about fasting until I got home at 8pm and then all hell broke loose.
Didn't even have a proper dinner. Too impatient.
A bag of chips.
An entire russel stover peanut-butter-filled white chocolate rabbit.
Mrs fields cookie dough bites (the sugar cookie ones are my fave)
Reeses mini eggs.
More Biscoff cookies (so yum)
And a belly that finally started screaming enough damn it!!
I thoroughly hate myself right now. Total lack of willpower. Total fucking failure.
Why did I do this? Work was dull and I did feel like I missed my sales goals. Was that it?
I don't know...residual depression from visit to daddie dearest?
Well I just got Mich's note that more Fairy Queen is up. Yesss!!
Maybe I'll go lose myself in that for an hour or so. Heehee poor Mich...I read too fast! Then bug her to put more up! Awwww hugs to Mich!
So...note to Self:
Dear idiotic Self,
Next time bingey cravings call, go read some Mich stories FIRST and after that...if the craving still exists...well I'm fucked. ^_^
Also...getting that fanletter finished and sent would be a good idea. At the rate I'm going it'll be a miracle if I get it sent in time for the twins' birthday.
Which is in August!
Didn't even have a proper dinner. Too impatient.
A bag of chips.
An entire russel stover peanut-butter-filled white chocolate rabbit.
Mrs fields cookie dough bites (the sugar cookie ones are my fave)
Reeses mini eggs.
More Biscoff cookies (so yum)
And a belly that finally started screaming enough damn it!!
I thoroughly hate myself right now. Total lack of willpower. Total fucking failure.
Why did I do this? Work was dull and I did feel like I missed my sales goals. Was that it?
I don't know...residual depression from visit to daddie dearest?
Well I just got Mich's note that more Fairy Queen is up. Yesss!!
Maybe I'll go lose myself in that for an hour or so. Heehee poor Mich...I read too fast! Then bug her to put more up! Awwww hugs to Mich!
So...note to Self:
Dear idiotic Self,
Next time bingey cravings call, go read some Mich stories FIRST and after that...if the craving still exists...well I'm fucked. ^_^
Also...getting that fanletter finished and sent would be a good idea. At the rate I'm going it'll be a miracle if I get it sent in time for the twins' birthday.
Which is in August!
Thanks for the encouragement about asking question :D y'all make me happy. And relieved.
Maybe I'll mention my questions in a short blip in that fanletter (that is STILL in rough draft mode). Samantha was a philosophy major at NYU so she might find it interesting.
So going by my fave DJ's twitter...she's single.
Part of me is happy because I'm a delusional fangirl thinking I might have a chance with her now xD
And the other part of me is kinda sad...and hoping that Samantha and yogagirl are both ok.
Especially poor yogagirl. The twitterfreaks and internet stalkers really went after her with blood on their minds.
It'd be really sad if there was a budding relationship there that got killed by online bullying.
It's sad if Samantha has to deny relationships to protect those she cares about.
In other news there seems to be a bit more distance between Samantha and lindsay. Sam has said a few times now that lilo was not around. And well...awhile back michael lohan released a recording of dina saying that lindsay had hit dina in the face when dina tried to suggest rehab. We also now have the 911 call with lindsay and dawn holland from betty ford. It's an .......interesting bit of audio. And with the broken window of march 2009 and all the public fights and lilo's love of calling the paps for every little thing (like going to millions of milkshakes and posing with a fake Oscar) yea I think lindsay might be a violent and controlling, manipulative person.
Bet she learned it from her dad. Yanno I had an abusive daddie dearest too. I don't take it out on my lovers. That is just wrong. I'm too poor for therapy. But lilo isn't so wtf?
So the farther lindsay is from Samantha, the happier I am.
In my news....I'm a fat fucking failure :)
Just smile it away....
Major stress at work tues and binged when I finally got home. The only saving grace was I ate these Biscoff cookies instead of the reeses mini eggs. Yay? The cookies were cookies, but at least they were slightly lower cal than the reeses. 140cal per serving and I ate the whole package so 140 x 8 ugh.
And I ate too much Monday too. And the Sunday I went to daddie's for half-sis b-day and overate there. She got a kindle, an amazon gift card and some diamond jewelry and a jewelry chest.
And I know I shouldn't feel like I'm....lesser.... but I do. I don't even want a kindle. I like BOOKS!! The way they smell, especially older books. The sound of rustling pages. Their weight.
But something about being over there makes me feel like I don't matter as much simply because I don't have money.so I had chocolate when I got home on Sunday.
Still trying to behave. I got stuffed at the lent dinner tonight but it was lent dinner :)
And earlier I gave in to a small bit of peanut butter on a knife. Then put the knife in dirty sinkwater and fled upstairs.
I need to be thin. Or at least thinner....I need to remember this weight can kill me. It's all in my stomach now. My thighs no longer rub together when I walk. I don't see a gap but the rubbing is gone.
But the stomach is not. And it's the bellyfat that is dangerous.
And I work tomorrow (today?) And should really try to sleep.
Oh! Samantha took a tumble off her bike and had 12 stitches,poor girl. She's dealing in her usual self-deprecating way. I'm amused that it looks like she'll have a lil scar in her eyebrow near where Spike (from Buffy) had his. You know Samantha could rock that bad-girl look ;)
Gah! Dammit Honor go to bed!
Maybe I'll mention my questions in a short blip in that fanletter (that is STILL in rough draft mode). Samantha was a philosophy major at NYU so she might find it interesting.
So going by my fave DJ's twitter...she's single.
Part of me is happy because I'm a delusional fangirl thinking I might have a chance with her now xD
And the other part of me is kinda sad...and hoping that Samantha and yogagirl are both ok.
Especially poor yogagirl. The twitterfreaks and internet stalkers really went after her with blood on their minds.
It'd be really sad if there was a budding relationship there that got killed by online bullying.
It's sad if Samantha has to deny relationships to protect those she cares about.
In other news there seems to be a bit more distance between Samantha and lindsay. Sam has said a few times now that lilo was not around. And well...awhile back michael lohan released a recording of dina saying that lindsay had hit dina in the face when dina tried to suggest rehab. We also now have the 911 call with lindsay and dawn holland from betty ford. It's an .......interesting bit of audio. And with the broken window of march 2009 and all the public fights and lilo's love of calling the paps for every little thing (like going to millions of milkshakes and posing with a fake Oscar) yea I think lindsay might be a violent and controlling, manipulative person.
Bet she learned it from her dad. Yanno I had an abusive daddie dearest too. I don't take it out on my lovers. That is just wrong. I'm too poor for therapy. But lilo isn't so wtf?
So the farther lindsay is from Samantha, the happier I am.
In my news....I'm a fat fucking failure :)
Just smile it away....
Major stress at work tues and binged when I finally got home. The only saving grace was I ate these Biscoff cookies instead of the reeses mini eggs. Yay? The cookies were cookies, but at least they were slightly lower cal than the reeses. 140cal per serving and I ate the whole package so 140 x 8 ugh.
And I ate too much Monday too. And the Sunday I went to daddie's for half-sis b-day and overate there. She got a kindle, an amazon gift card and some diamond jewelry and a jewelry chest.
And I know I shouldn't feel like I'm....lesser.... but I do. I don't even want a kindle. I like BOOKS!! The way they smell, especially older books. The sound of rustling pages. Their weight.
But something about being over there makes me feel like I don't matter as much simply because I don't have money.so I had chocolate when I got home on Sunday.
Still trying to behave. I got stuffed at the lent dinner tonight but it was lent dinner :)
And earlier I gave in to a small bit of peanut butter on a knife. Then put the knife in dirty sinkwater and fled upstairs.
I need to be thin. Or at least thinner....I need to remember this weight can kill me. It's all in my stomach now. My thighs no longer rub together when I walk. I don't see a gap but the rubbing is gone.
But the stomach is not. And it's the bellyfat that is dangerous.
And I work tomorrow (today?) And should really try to sleep.
Oh! Samantha took a tumble off her bike and had 12 stitches,poor girl. She's dealing in her usual self-deprecating way. I'm amused that it looks like she'll have a lil scar in her eyebrow near where Spike (from Buffy) had his. You know Samantha could rock that bad-girl look ;)
Gah! Dammit Honor go to bed!
Friday, April 8, 2011
Still fasting (liquid fast using my protein powder) every other day. It works best when I work every other day. I get home from work at 8pm and 8pm is the switchover from fasting to eating to fasting etcc. But I must be eating too much because weight is steady at Whale.
Something's going on tho cuz my pants fit different. Not quite as tight around the fat belly. I don't notice a difference in the mirror. Still got the flappy flabby potbelly. But my work pants aren't as tight around that belly. Huh.
Need stronger restriction. Note use of the word "stronger" instead of "harsher". This isn't about being hard on myself. Not punishing myself. This is about trying to raise my insulin sensitivity and shrinking my stomach. About getting to where I'm satisfied with only a little chocolate, making sugar cravings smaller and met with smaller portions. About teaching my body to crave fruit and milk and meat and vegetable. It's about staying alive. Both my parents are diabetic, type 2 diabetes, as is my last surviving grandparent. I don't want to be on that path.
Strong sugar cravings seem to run in my family. And I'm so tired of being mad at myself for giving in. So what if I could be happy with one chocolate bar? It's better than binging on 3 or 5. Right?
Heard back from the theology major advisor. Apparently I have to take a lab cass (since when did liberal science majors get labs?) And another class on islam.
My philosophy advisor didn't say anything about a lab class. So I guess it's for the theology major. And I'm annoyed. I don't want to take a fucking lab!
I also don't want to take another fucking class on islam. The last ones I took were all the same. Just fucking regurgitating what the "professor" said. Couldn't engage the texts critically. Couldn't ask about how culture might have influenced the quran's development. Couldn't ask about the quran's development at all. Just puke back up what you'd been told in class. Rote memorization quran hadeeth muhammed five pillars yadda yadda yawn.
And you certainly could not ask how muslim belief might be affecting the mess in the middle east.
Why not? I can ask how christian beliefs affect laws in USA but I can't ask how muslim beliefs affect the laws they make or why they force women to cover up? Did you know that women in Saudi Arabia are not allowed to drive??
A woman raped in a muslim country is expected to kill herself to save the family honor. If she doesn't kill herself, a male relative will kill her.
Why can't I talk about that?!? Why can't I ask what muslims are doing to stop that shit? It's ok to call out christians for being sexist assholes but muslims are above reproach?
And then I get told "honor killings aren't part of islam" well then why does this tend to happen only in muslim/predominently muslim countries? Something is going on there. And I'm not allowed to ask about even a possible connection.
Christianity is a majority religion so I assume most people have some idea about the Abraham dude.
Abraham taking his son out to a mountain because he thought God wanted him to kill his son. Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son is interpreted by christians as a sign of his loyalty to God. As a sign that he loved God more than he loved his own son. And in my old Sunday school classes I was told to thing about how God saved the son of Abraham but the Son of God was not saved, but rather killed in order to save all people.
The interesting sidenote there is how instead of the Jews killing Jesus, it was God Almighty doing the sacrifice for the sake of humanity. It's why I am still shocked when the Jews get accused of killing Christ. It makes no sense. It could never have happened if God didn't want it to.
Anyway..back to Abraham. What was the name of the boy nearly killed? Isaac, right? Issac is the name given in the bible, the son of Abraham and Sarah, born to them when they were both very very old. That's the christian story, which ofc was stolen from the jews and reinterpreted.
Isaac.
But in islam, it was ishmael whom Abraham nearly killed. The son of abraham and hagar. Suddenly sarah is out of the picture.
I wonder if this belief affects how muslims view Israel?
Gosh, I bet it does.
But I'm not allowed to ask those questions.
Why not?
Another question I'm not allowed to ask is why was the Dome of the Rock built right smack on the Temple Mount, a known Jewish holy site? Why there?
And why am I not allowed to ask these things?
Does anyone else remember a few years back there were some Danish cartoons or something that apparently poked a bit of fun at muhammed...and there was a muslim riot?
And I don't remember other muslims condemning the riot. A riot over a fucking ccartoon. That's insane.
Has anyone seen South Park and how Jesus is a character? And apparently he slept with Cartman's mom at some point?
Oh there are christians who would probably love to riot over that. But I think most christians would say "dude it's just a cartoon". You can be damn sure I would loudly condemn a riot over a fucking cartoon. and South Park isn't all bad. They make a lot of very good points and they are funny while doing it. And they got the truth about scientology out even tho they weren't allowed to air the episode originally. So they put it on their website. For free.
Knowledge should be free.
Why am I not allowed to question? I hate that. And it also makes me think someone's got something to hide. Scientologists don't like questions either.
And this was one hell of a rant, huh?
I just don't want another stupid pseudoclass. I would like one on feminism within islam tho. When I read the quran it seemed pretty damn sexist. It'd be fascinating to see how an islamic feminist thinks.
Something's going on tho cuz my pants fit different. Not quite as tight around the fat belly. I don't notice a difference in the mirror. Still got the flappy flabby potbelly. But my work pants aren't as tight around that belly. Huh.
Need stronger restriction. Note use of the word "stronger" instead of "harsher". This isn't about being hard on myself. Not punishing myself. This is about trying to raise my insulin sensitivity and shrinking my stomach. About getting to where I'm satisfied with only a little chocolate, making sugar cravings smaller and met with smaller portions. About teaching my body to crave fruit and milk and meat and vegetable. It's about staying alive. Both my parents are diabetic, type 2 diabetes, as is my last surviving grandparent. I don't want to be on that path.
Strong sugar cravings seem to run in my family. And I'm so tired of being mad at myself for giving in. So what if I could be happy with one chocolate bar? It's better than binging on 3 or 5. Right?
Heard back from the theology major advisor. Apparently I have to take a lab cass (since when did liberal science majors get labs?) And another class on islam.
My philosophy advisor didn't say anything about a lab class. So I guess it's for the theology major. And I'm annoyed. I don't want to take a fucking lab!
I also don't want to take another fucking class on islam. The last ones I took were all the same. Just fucking regurgitating what the "professor" said. Couldn't engage the texts critically. Couldn't ask about how culture might have influenced the quran's development. Couldn't ask about the quran's development at all. Just puke back up what you'd been told in class. Rote memorization quran hadeeth muhammed five pillars yadda yadda yawn.
And you certainly could not ask how muslim belief might be affecting the mess in the middle east.
Why not? I can ask how christian beliefs affect laws in USA but I can't ask how muslim beliefs affect the laws they make or why they force women to cover up? Did you know that women in Saudi Arabia are not allowed to drive??
A woman raped in a muslim country is expected to kill herself to save the family honor. If she doesn't kill herself, a male relative will kill her.
Why can't I talk about that?!? Why can't I ask what muslims are doing to stop that shit? It's ok to call out christians for being sexist assholes but muslims are above reproach?
And then I get told "honor killings aren't part of islam" well then why does this tend to happen only in muslim/predominently muslim countries? Something is going on there. And I'm not allowed to ask about even a possible connection.
Christianity is a majority religion so I assume most people have some idea about the Abraham dude.
Abraham taking his son out to a mountain because he thought God wanted him to kill his son. Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son is interpreted by christians as a sign of his loyalty to God. As a sign that he loved God more than he loved his own son. And in my old Sunday school classes I was told to thing about how God saved the son of Abraham but the Son of God was not saved, but rather killed in order to save all people.
The interesting sidenote there is how instead of the Jews killing Jesus, it was God Almighty doing the sacrifice for the sake of humanity. It's why I am still shocked when the Jews get accused of killing Christ. It makes no sense. It could never have happened if God didn't want it to.
Anyway..back to Abraham. What was the name of the boy nearly killed? Isaac, right? Issac is the name given in the bible, the son of Abraham and Sarah, born to them when they were both very very old. That's the christian story, which ofc was stolen from the jews and reinterpreted.
Isaac.
But in islam, it was ishmael whom Abraham nearly killed. The son of abraham and hagar. Suddenly sarah is out of the picture.
I wonder if this belief affects how muslims view Israel?
Gosh, I bet it does.
But I'm not allowed to ask those questions.
Why not?
Another question I'm not allowed to ask is why was the Dome of the Rock built right smack on the Temple Mount, a known Jewish holy site? Why there?
And why am I not allowed to ask these things?
Does anyone else remember a few years back there were some Danish cartoons or something that apparently poked a bit of fun at muhammed...and there was a muslim riot?
And I don't remember other muslims condemning the riot. A riot over a fucking ccartoon. That's insane.
Has anyone seen South Park and how Jesus is a character? And apparently he slept with Cartman's mom at some point?
Oh there are christians who would probably love to riot over that. But I think most christians would say "dude it's just a cartoon". You can be damn sure I would loudly condemn a riot over a fucking cartoon. and South Park isn't all bad. They make a lot of very good points and they are funny while doing it. And they got the truth about scientology out even tho they weren't allowed to air the episode originally. So they put it on their website. For free.
Knowledge should be free.
Why am I not allowed to question? I hate that. And it also makes me think someone's got something to hide. Scientologists don't like questions either.
And this was one hell of a rant, huh?
I just don't want another stupid pseudoclass. I would like one on feminism within islam tho. When I read the quran it seemed pretty damn sexist. It'd be fascinating to see how an islamic feminist thinks.
Friday, April 1, 2011
me on computer=long long post w many links and pics :)
hey... i haz computer! let's have fun!
for future reference tho.. is it possible to do the "Read more" link so the mass of pics can be behind that link rather than loading all at once? I mean.. I usually blog from my phone and I'm wondering how long it will take this to load on my phone. Anyone know what I'm talking about?
so gossip time...I'm not sure if this makes me a bad person or not, cuz reading all this together has me alternating between laughing at lilo's patheticness.. and wondering if Ronson is safe.
So start at... well it's not the beginning but yea...
Samantha was caught kissing another woman.
And i am very very jealous of this lady.
Anyway the lucky lady has been identified by the internet stalkers (stalkers far more dedicated than me anyway) as Tiffany Russo.. a yoga instructor.
Which would explain the leggings-as-pants disaster.
lindsay ofc tweeted about it... and later deleted said tweet after sam said she hadn't gotten a ride to the airport (meaning sam hadn't bummed a ride.. she gets pro drivers to her planes and gigs as part of her package)
here's a gossip site's summary which includes lindsay much later saying she is friends with Tiffany: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1371026/Lindsay-Lohan-says-pals-Samantha-Ronsons-new-girlfriend.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
a few days later... lindsay was spotted either leaving sam's house.. or arriving.. not sure.. with a teddy bear
and that's the part i'm laughing at the most.
http://x17online.com/gallery/view_gallery.php?gallery=LLohanLoveEXCLU0328_X17
i can't tell if lindsay actually left sam's house with it.. but that's the story. that lindsay got it from sam as a present.. and it looks like an obvious valentine's day bear to me. and why would lindsay be *giving* a heart bear to sam?
then sam tweeted:
(obsessed lilo fan) omg I love the bear you gave Lindsay!!I want one too! <3
(Sam) bear? huh?
(obsessed lilo fan)Yes......the "I Love You" bear.Pictures all over the net.Didn't you give it to her?
(Sam) not me.
and what's really curious.. is very shortly before the "huh? what bear?" tweets Sam tweeted this: "waking up in the studio, today, would have been way more comfortable if i had a couch, not just a chair. gotta get a couch."
And going by times on the tweets... she went straight to studio after her last gig or party, and slept there for some 2 or 3 hours. Why did she not go home since she's already said on video her house is like 3 blocks from her studio? (here's the vid where she says her studio is 3 blocks away... it's towards the end but it's a cute vid anyway.. and i'm happy for her that her fave new band Arcade Fire won that contest they're talking about: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cs0_bAqtEMo )
and NOW we have this: http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/03/exclusive-lindsay-lohan-ex-sam-ronsons-new-girlfriend-shes-a-friend-mine
and.. this tweet from sam:
(obsessed fan) come on....so you were not home when Lindsay was papped leaving your house??
(sam) no. in fact there are pictures to prove otherwise with me actually in them.
yea.... anyone else thinking lindsay was trying to manipulate the press into THINKING she and Samantha were back together? cuz um... she's done it before.. and apparently x17 thinks so now too
http://x17online.com/celebrities/lindsay_lohan/lindsay_lohan_teddy_bear_samantha_ronson_sam_venice_032911.php
And just for fun here's some more pics that i find interesting... lindsay is deliberately posing just outside her door with some dude.. and i don't know why. The fansite i sometimes visit says it was for some japan charity auction. rather odd way to support a charity?
http://www.dlisted.com/node/41379
MOVING ON...... Let's take a peek at my fave little lady shall we? I really wonder if Samantha might be one of us. I do not know her at all... i only WONDER if she's anorexic because.....
that gap between her thighs... damn.
Even when she's almost walking she has a visible gap.
And here... walking... can you see the pavement through that gap? I can. Girl is THIN. So thin... i actually sometimes wonder if she is ok. We all know how dangerous this can be. Some of us here on blogger have been on feeding tubes. I will be very sad if The Littlest Ronson gets that sick :(
There.... the delicate tiny red bracelet i mentioned. i do not know if that's an ana bracelet... Samantha is Jewish and I know there's a Jewish offshoot that wears red bracelets. Maybe she is part of that. i have no idea.
Samantha tends to have all sorts of bracelets piled on her wrists. She loves having a lot on her wrists. And she's had multiple red bracelets on too, sometimes all at once.
And here she is on stage at Spaceland on...Feb 25 i think it was. You can see the tiny red bracelet peeking out below the huge leather cuff she also has on that tiny wrist.. on the left wrist i also see a little hint of red hiding behind that reddish-orange thing that probably identifies her as being over 21, since there was alcohol being served at that venue.
Side note: i love those pants. See that little ribbon-like stripe? High dressy pants.. and that's a dressy coat with a tail. Tailcoat? What are they called?
What's funny is with that fancy suit she's wearing a skull t-shirt and overly studded boots.
And that's really the best i can do. I don't want to use up my Blogger images bank all on one post ^_^ and to be honest most pics of her from that night are really blurry. i can recognize the boots now tho so if i find a clearer pic of them it's gotta go up eventually. They really are insanely over-studded :D
hmm..pics are smaller on preview... well hopefully you can still see what i'm trying to show *hopeful*
Foodwise.... i could do better. The fasting-every-other-day is still ongoing, but I must be eating too much on the eating days. Figures.
Also.. the damn monthly visitor is dragging its feet about leaving. Grrrr...
I had a chocolate binge last night.. like 12 reese mini-eggs. it would have been far more but I pulled up The Fairy Queen by Mich and ofc i finished everything posted in one go.
Waaaa! i want more story! Maybe i'll re-read Underwood. I really liked it. Or check out her other middle-school fiction. Yea I'm technically an adult but I like escapist fantasy books. When I want to read for fun, i want to not be reminded of the real world too much. I like fantasy.
So ... yea...poke at Mich to get more posted *hugs*
for future reference tho.. is it possible to do the "Read more" link so the mass of pics can be behind that link rather than loading all at once? I mean.. I usually blog from my phone and I'm wondering how long it will take this to load on my phone. Anyone know what I'm talking about?
so gossip time...I'm not sure if this makes me a bad person or not, cuz reading all this together has me alternating between laughing at lilo's patheticness.. and wondering if Ronson is safe.
So start at... well it's not the beginning but yea...
Samantha was caught kissing another woman.
And i am very very jealous of this lady.
Anyway the lucky lady has been identified by the internet stalkers (stalkers far more dedicated than me anyway) as Tiffany Russo.. a yoga instructor.
Which would explain the leggings-as-pants disaster.
lindsay ofc tweeted about it... and later deleted said tweet after sam said she hadn't gotten a ride to the airport (meaning sam hadn't bummed a ride.. she gets pro drivers to her planes and gigs as part of her package)
here's a gossip site's summary which includes lindsay much later saying she is friends with Tiffany: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1371026/Lindsay-Lohan-says-pals-Samantha-Ronsons-new-girlfriend.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
a few days later... lindsay was spotted either leaving sam's house.. or arriving.. not sure.. with a teddy bear
and that's the part i'm laughing at the most.
http://x17online.com/gallery/view_gallery.php?gallery=LLohanLoveEXCLU0328_X17
i can't tell if lindsay actually left sam's house with it.. but that's the story. that lindsay got it from sam as a present.. and it looks like an obvious valentine's day bear to me. and why would lindsay be *giving* a heart bear to sam?
then sam tweeted:
(obsessed lilo fan) omg I love the bear you gave Lindsay!!I want one too! <3
(Sam) bear? huh?
(obsessed lilo fan)Yes......the "I Love You" bear.Pictures all over the net.Didn't you give it to her?
(Sam) not me.
and what's really curious.. is very shortly before the "huh? what bear?" tweets Sam tweeted this: "waking up in the studio, today, would have been way more comfortable if i had a couch, not just a chair. gotta get a couch."
And going by times on the tweets... she went straight to studio after her last gig or party, and slept there for some 2 or 3 hours. Why did she not go home since she's already said on video her house is like 3 blocks from her studio? (here's the vid where she says her studio is 3 blocks away... it's towards the end but it's a cute vid anyway.. and i'm happy for her that her fave new band Arcade Fire won that contest they're talking about: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cs0_bAqtEMo )
and NOW we have this: http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/03/exclusive-lindsay-lohan-ex-sam-ronsons-new-girlfriend-shes-a-friend-mine
and.. this tweet from sam:
(obsessed fan) come on....so you were not home when Lindsay was papped leaving your house??
(sam) no. in fact there are pictures to prove otherwise with me actually in them.
yea.... anyone else thinking lindsay was trying to manipulate the press into THINKING she and Samantha were back together? cuz um... she's done it before.. and apparently x17 thinks so now too
http://x17online.com/celebrities/lindsay_lohan/lindsay_lohan_teddy_bear_samantha_ronson_sam_venice_032911.php
And just for fun here's some more pics that i find interesting... lindsay is deliberately posing just outside her door with some dude.. and i don't know why. The fansite i sometimes visit says it was for some japan charity auction. rather odd way to support a charity?
http://www.dlisted.com/node/41379
MOVING ON...... Let's take a peek at my fave little lady shall we? I really wonder if Samantha might be one of us. I do not know her at all... i only WONDER if she's anorexic because.....
that gap between her thighs... damn.
Even when she's almost walking she has a visible gap.
And here... walking... can you see the pavement through that gap? I can. Girl is THIN. So thin... i actually sometimes wonder if she is ok. We all know how dangerous this can be. Some of us here on blogger have been on feeding tubes. I will be very sad if The Littlest Ronson gets that sick :(
There.... the delicate tiny red bracelet i mentioned. i do not know if that's an ana bracelet... Samantha is Jewish and I know there's a Jewish offshoot that wears red bracelets. Maybe she is part of that. i have no idea.
Samantha tends to have all sorts of bracelets piled on her wrists. She loves having a lot on her wrists. And she's had multiple red bracelets on too, sometimes all at once.
And here she is on stage at Spaceland on...Feb 25 i think it was. You can see the tiny red bracelet peeking out below the huge leather cuff she also has on that tiny wrist.. on the left wrist i also see a little hint of red hiding behind that reddish-orange thing that probably identifies her as being over 21, since there was alcohol being served at that venue.
Side note: i love those pants. See that little ribbon-like stripe? High dressy pants.. and that's a dressy coat with a tail. Tailcoat? What are they called?
What's funny is with that fancy suit she's wearing a skull t-shirt and overly studded boots.
And that's really the best i can do. I don't want to use up my Blogger images bank all on one post ^_^ and to be honest most pics of her from that night are really blurry. i can recognize the boots now tho so if i find a clearer pic of them it's gotta go up eventually. They really are insanely over-studded :D
hmm..pics are smaller on preview... well hopefully you can still see what i'm trying to show *hopeful*
Foodwise.... i could do better. The fasting-every-other-day is still ongoing, but I must be eating too much on the eating days. Figures.
Also.. the damn monthly visitor is dragging its feet about leaving. Grrrr...
I had a chocolate binge last night.. like 12 reese mini-eggs. it would have been far more but I pulled up The Fairy Queen by Mich and ofc i finished everything posted in one go.
Waaaa! i want more story! Maybe i'll re-read Underwood. I really liked it. Or check out her other middle-school fiction. Yea I'm technically an adult but I like escapist fantasy books. When I want to read for fun, i want to not be reminded of the real world too much. I like fantasy.
So ... yea...poke at Mich to get more posted *hugs*
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