Pulled out my datebook to see when memorial day is.
Memorial day= gateway to summer.
It's may 30th
Getting ever closer.
Fuuuuuck.
I wanted to be at least 140 by then. But I've been fucking up too much. It really is a miracle that I still clock in at 165. I should be 175 with the Piggy McBingey thing I've had going on all fucking week.
Ugh...ok... what about 145 by memorial day? That's only 5lbs a week and I've still got a few days to finish up the easter dinner leftovers. Gonna have to do something about the chocolate. I bought it and I want to keep it, at least for the monthly gimme-chocolate-nao syndrome. (Plus my mom has even less self-control...and she's already diabetic so I do feel guilty about evven thinking of dumping my shopping mistakes where she can see)
I could put it in my mary kay bags and hide them in basement. It gets hot in my room and I do like storing my lipsticks and perfumes and other heat-sensitive stuff in the basement. And I have hidden chocolate that way before. Only problem is this time got uncle living in basement. He's supposedly moving out in june (finally!! I really hope he does!)
Also need a plan that won't arouse suspicion, will allow for dinner w fam on occasion (hopefully not every day) and will also protect muscle as much as possible.
I wonder if 5lbs a week would be too fast for my skin to shrink? My belly skin pulls up well enough when I suck my gut in.
Ok...well powerbar is gonna make its return and my protein powders are in too. I'd better pick up some 5hour energy before the sale ends. At a mere 4 calories a bottle it's a good way to keep myself going. It works like coffee for me. Damn thing is I still have Luna bars too. Much carby-er but soooo good. Guess I need to step down gradually anyway.
Ungh...ok so sometimes soon I need to go thru my mary kay stuff and get the heat-sensitive stuff all packed up (with chocolate snuck around it) and into unassuming bags and boxes and down into the nice cool basement. And Friday is my only day off this week. *and* at some point before may 2 I have a tuition bill due that has to be paid in person (cuz I don't trust that university anymore)
Fuck I'm tired just thinking about it.
Ok I need to try to get some sleep.