Still fasting (liquid fast using my protein powder) every other day. It works best when I work every other day. I get home from work at 8pm and 8pm is the switchover from fasting to eating to fasting etcc. But I must be eating too much because weight is steady at Whale.
Something's going on tho cuz my pants fit different. Not quite as tight around the fat belly. I don't notice a difference in the mirror. Still got the flappy flabby potbelly. But my work pants aren't as tight around that belly. Huh.
Need stronger restriction. Note use of the word "stronger" instead of "harsher". This isn't about being hard on myself. Not punishing myself. This is about trying to raise my insulin sensitivity and shrinking my stomach. About getting to where I'm satisfied with only a little chocolate, making sugar cravings smaller and met with smaller portions. About teaching my body to crave fruit and milk and meat and vegetable. It's about staying alive. Both my parents are diabetic, type 2 diabetes, as is my last surviving grandparent. I don't want to be on that path.

Strong sugar cravings seem to run in my family. And I'm so tired of being mad at myself for giving in. So what if I could be happy with one chocolate bar? It's better than binging on 3 or 5. Right?

Heard back from the theology major advisor. Apparently I have to take a lab cass (since when did liberal science majors get labs?) And another class on islam.
My philosophy advisor didn't say anything about a lab class. So I guess it's for the theology major. And I'm annoyed. I don't want to take a fucking lab!
I also don't want to take another fucking class on islam. The last ones I took were all the same. Just fucking regurgitating what the "professor" said. Couldn't engage the texts critically. Couldn't ask about how culture might have influenced the quran's development. Couldn't ask about the quran's development at all. Just puke back up what you'd been told in class. Rote memorization quran hadeeth muhammed five pillars yadda yadda yawn.
And you certainly could not ask how muslim belief might be affecting the mess in the middle east.
Why not? I can ask how christian beliefs affect laws in USA but I can't ask how muslim beliefs affect the laws they make or why they force women to cover up? Did you know that women in Saudi Arabia are not allowed to drive??
A woman raped in a muslim country is expected to kill herself to save the family honor. If she doesn't kill herself, a male relative will kill her.
Why can't I talk about that?!? Why can't I ask what muslims are doing to stop that shit? It's ok to call out christians for being sexist assholes but muslims are above reproach?
And then I get told "honor killings aren't part of islam" well then why does this tend to happen only in muslim/predominently muslim countries? Something is going on there. And I'm not allowed to ask about even a possible connection.
Christianity is a majority religion so I assume most people have some idea about the Abraham dude.
Abraham taking his son out to a mountain because he thought God wanted him to kill his son. Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son is interpreted by christians as a sign of his loyalty to God. As a sign that he loved God more than he loved his own son. And in my old Sunday school classes I was told to thing about how God saved the son of Abraham but the Son of God was not saved, but rather killed in order to save all people.
The interesting sidenote there is how instead of the Jews killing Jesus, it was God Almighty doing the sacrifice for the sake of humanity. It's why I am still shocked when the Jews get accused of killing Christ. It makes no sense. It could never have happened if God didn't want it to.
Anyway..back to Abraham. What was the name of the boy nearly killed? Isaac, right? Issac is the name given in the bible, the son of Abraham and Sarah, born to them when they were both very very old. That's the christian story, which ofc was stolen from the jews and reinterpreted.
Isaac.
But in islam, it was ishmael whom Abraham nearly killed. The son of abraham and hagar. Suddenly sarah is out of the picture.
I wonder if this belief affects how muslims view Israel?
Gosh, I bet it does.
But I'm not allowed to ask those questions.
Why not?
Another question I'm not allowed to ask is why was the Dome of the Rock built right smack on the Temple Mount, a known Jewish holy site? Why there?

And why am I not allowed to ask these things?

Does anyone else remember a few years back there were some Danish cartoons or something that apparently poked a bit of fun at muhammed...and there was a muslim riot?
And I don't remember other muslims condemning the riot. A riot over a fucking ccartoon. That's insane.
Has anyone seen South Park and how Jesus is a character? And apparently he slept with Cartman's mom at some point?
Oh there are christians who would probably love to riot over that. But I think most christians would say "dude it's just a cartoon". You can be damn sure I would loudly condemn a riot over a fucking cartoon. and South Park isn't all bad. They make a lot of very good points and they are funny while doing it. And they got the truth about scientology out even tho they weren't allowed to air the episode originally. So they put it on their website. For free.
Knowledge should be free.

Why am I not allowed to question? I hate that. And it also makes me think someone's got something to hide. Scientologists don't like questions either.
And this was one hell of a rant, huh?
I just don't want another stupid pseudoclass. I would like one on feminism within islam tho. When I read the quran it seemed pretty damn sexist. It'd be fascinating to see how an islamic feminist thinks.