When the answers are questions, and the questions unanswered......how do we explain what we don't understand? Who do we ask why?

From Pedestals, by Samantha Ronson.

I love that song. Some of her words aren't quite clear to me, both because it's a fan-ripped from a fan site, and she does sometimes have a slight accent ^_^

Tomorrow at some point I'm supposed to be in a small film. A promo video for a little orchestra R has asked me to help with. We perform in masks....so peeps who are just starting won't be so nervous. I know i'd play more often if I didn't have too look the audience in the eye.

Anyway for the vid I wanted to arrange Pedestals into a simple orchestra piece. And I'm terrified.
I feel like if I can't make it perfect then I shouldn't do it at all. What if she sees it? I don't want her to be hurt or angry or disgusted. I even tried to get her attention on twitter, asked how she'd feel if a fan covered a song of hers. No response. Not sure what that means. She linked a fan's copy of her old Pull My Hair Out video. I guess that's positive?

Cuz if she likes it she won't try to get it taken down.
Also I'm her fan and I want to see her happy.

Tho Mich can also help with my nervous feelings a bit...I mean, musicians cover each other's songs a lot right? It's not illegal, is it? I'm openly admitting that I'm covering/arranging her song into a string duet or something like that. I was inspired by a group named Vitamin String Quartet (or close to that) and they cover/arrange other peeps' songs all the time. They seem ok.

I dunno... I'm not trained for this. I got the melody written down in a format I understand but the rest of the world would get confused cuz the rhythyms aren't written or the rests or anything. It's very rough draft and I'm supposed to film tomorrow. And still trying to come up with harmonies (actually I'm trying to remember harmonies long enough to write them down in my strange shorthand)

Doesn't help that earlier at work this fat blonde bitch came in and the store was completely redone and I saw her and asked if she needed help finding stuff and it was only the 2nd time I talked to her and she was all....not unless you know what I'm gonna buy and my friend works at another store blah blah "go find someone else to follow and harass"
Just....really? Just doing my job, fatass.
I wanted to punch her sneering face in so badly.
Went in the back and did pushups til my face got red.
Maybe she was just jealous because I'm less than half her size. She was jello-plopping around and I clearly had more hair and healthier hair.
I dunno.....it made me mad and hurt and now I'm doubting my abilities.
Which is probably what the bitch was aimming for...to bring me down to her level in the trash can.

I need to take another stab at those harmonies and try to get my viola to stay in tune. Poor baby, been so long since I played her she's lost tension in the D and G pegs. A slipps a lot too. Seems C is the only string behaving! Also the bridge is a bit curved across the top. It's not bending or buckling but it needs adjusting and adjusting the bridge has always made me soooooooo nervous.

Later.....

ETA........
Dearest Samantha Ronson,
I still adore your songs and I do intend to finish this arrangement of Pedestals.
Unfortunately it has been so many years since I picked my viola up that I absolutely suck moneky balls and I cannt yet play your songs in a way that makes them recognizable.
I will pencil in more practice time.
A lot more.
Yours ever,
Honor Regzig