So I turned my phone off before I went to sleep. Cuz it meant no alarm. And I had the weirdest dream.
I was in some sort of compound/commune out in the woods. Men and women both, of varying ages. It was some sort of cult. One of the women there looked like Annette Benning.
Phone use was a privilege that had to be earned by obeying weird cult rules. Somehow i'd snuck my cell in. I had the sensation of being a secret agent sent in to bring the cult leaders down. Once in it was pretty obvious most the members were women and were miserable. Or at least I interacted with women.
And when they did something wrong the cult leader, also female, said Genesis code (numbers I can't remember) and she'd be taken away to isolation or something. The annette benning woman got punished for calling her spouse (male spouse I think) just to let him know she was alive.
I woke up just as i'd plotted the commune on googlemaps thus giving away it's location...and i'd grabbed to leader to make her talk to the feds on the phone. Her commune's landline.
Weird.

Anyway a bit of tmi...I think the period is trying to start. Had a few reddish dots yesterday then nothing. And I'm not skinny enough to lose it so I dunno what's going on. But I told the fam and so they're letting me sleep/be lazy.

Before the pill and some painful-but-needed surgery...my periods made me violently ill. Throwing up, dizziness spells, shaking and pale as death... I could lose 7lbs in a mere 2 days...which of course was all water weight that went back on the next week.
And with body fluid levels going that crazy the electrolytes were often off too. I had heart palpitations.
Yet the fucking *male* gynos didn't think I had a problem. One told me i'd grow out of it and the other said I had endometriosis. He wanted to stuff me full of air and put his tools in me through holes in my stomach. At least the female nurse was able to get me on birth control.

Finally at college I got a good gyno, a female. She agreed that somehow i'd grown too tightly closed. She said it was a rare condition and I was only the 5th girl she'd seen, and she was grandmother when we met. So I got a referral and a female surgeon and posst-op checkup the female surgeon also remarked how odd I was... I had to be very carefully stitched open so it wouldn't "heal" all closed up even tighter! R and I had broken up already (I suffered with this for a loooooong time) band had gone into bff status and he gently took care of me post-op. His gf was pre-med at the time (she's in med school now) and told him I must not be left alone because of that slim chance of bad anesthesia side effects as they wore off...or something. I was just glad to not be alone. My mom always thought I was being silly. She'd had the same problem and had just powered thru it so she expected me to do the same.
On her wedding night...my dad says he thought he'd killed her cuz of how much blood was there.

R at least saw no reason why I should have to power thru that... he really has been my main support for much since I met him...and he was my only support on the surgery issue.

Ofc now that I'm open he sometimes teases that he's up for it if ever I get curious what sex w a guy is like. His gf laughs cuz she knows that I'm just not curious xD sorry R! I wouldn't mind getting lost in her boobies tho *slaps self*

But I was right about my body...post-op I can live without birth control *and* I now have medical proof that I have *never* had endometriosis. That male gyno can fucking suck his own dick!

I do still get tired tho so I'm left alone w no hard feelings :) and I. Will probably sleep more after hitting Post. Even bored with the aria-in-milk I've been slowly working on while typing ...this essay. Lol it turned into an essay!

And the moral of this essay is don't ever feel bad for wanting another doc. Some docs, especially male gynos, tend to have their egos stuck up their asses.