I just now woke up from a dream about my crush. My in-person crush, not Ronson ^_^
It wasn't a sex dream, it was actually nicer than that. There was an emotional closeness that made the dream very sweet.
In my dream, my crush and I had gotten married or something, and it was our first night together. My mom was there too taking care of chores so my crush and I could focus on each other. I asked my mom to not run the dishwasher since we wanted the hot water.
I was both nervous and excited, running around busying myself and trying to calm my giddyness. My crush completely understood how I was feeling and would just gently joke with me to prod me along. She'd tease me.
And for some odd reason, we lived in the house I grew up in, the house that was the site of most of my painful memories. The house I first played with ana in. Our room was even stepdaddie dearest's old room. He'd taken over the master bedroom and made my mom sleep in my brother's old room. Even tho Mom paid all the bills. But my crush had taken over that room and made it ours, tho I forget just what it looked like in my dream.
Heh...and last night as I fell asleep I was trying to compose a letter, email technically, telling her how I felt. I do assume she's straight, and that she knows I'm not and she's uncomfy around me but too nice to say so. And I was gonna say I'm sorry for making her uncomfy.
And that is how I feel. I adore her, gotta confess my crush on her, but I also respect her and I want to be counted among her friends. And then I had this dream. Wishful thinking on the crush but the dream's setting is interesting. Is telling her how I feel gonna make it easier to face other obstacles? Or something?
......
......
......
.fell asleep after that dream. Should have gotten up instead. It was 7am when I wrote that. It's now noon.

Foodwise I did fairly well until last night. I had chocolate. Lots of it. Hence the sugar crashes and sleepiness. Sugar is not my friend. It tastes soooo good but it only knocks me out.
Sugar crashes put me to sleep faster than my melatonin tablets.

But when I was behaving...I was eating a power crunch bar for breakfast. I could go 5 hours before feeling hungry again. Those things rock. Netween power crunch and my glucosamine/chondroitin powder and like 10 almonds I could go 8 hours on just that. Mom's been cooking lately so I haven't experimented on lasting for more than 8 hours. Her cooking is carbalicious even in small doses, but soooooo good and she doesn't cook every night. She just got really bored during the super snowy days when all her activities were cancelled.

I best get my ass to the gym.

Peri- interesting articles, but I still think osteoporosis is more complicated than just "ZOMG LOW ESTROGEN!" Here in my neck of the woods our animals are de-sexed *after* puberty. Vets wait until after the first heat. So I've seen animals get periods. I've also had a lot of women's studies classes where we looked at how women have been treated by medicine over the eons and I am suspicious whenever a woman's problems are blamed on her reproductive system. So I admit I'm already. Automatically going to doubt medicine when it blames our wombs for our problems. You may well be right. I just need more convincing.
I still think there is sexism in medicine, which when combined with the medical assumptions about the mental state of anorexics..... yea I'm a doubter. :)
That's all that is.

Gah! Time is slipping! Now 1230! To the gym with my fat ass!