late nights are bad, mmkay?

Sleeping is good. Sleeping is our friend cuz it keeps our naughty hands away from junk food and super caloric drinks late at night.
The "go to bed" alarm doesn't do much good if i keep turning it off and staying on the computer. Bad Honor! *slaps self*

I'm one of the lucky people who responds to melatonin pills. I should be taking one of those every damn night.. which also means i must go to bed at a time that would actually give me a full 8 hours of sleep.

The binge monster has been kicking my ass for the past few days. How was this so easy when i was young? Was I just that damn unhappy? (possibly) or was there just not that much food around? A bit of both... blagh!!!
Willpower is lacking.. i need SYSTEMS!!!
I need a system to carry me when willpower is down the toilet.
Logic logic logic.....
I've had the beginnings of a plan.. so simple a plan.. protein shake, cup a soup, milk, tea. And gum? Even tho my key lime pie is getting harder to find.. I also still love good ol Bazooka Joe gum. yes i even read the comics :p
Why am I not following it? Why so hard to stick to the plan?
Plans are not systems.. plans are blueprints for systems...

I bought chocolate today. Then later mom took me shopping w her and bought me a king size pack of Hershey drops (now gone) and bag of Doritoes (half gone.. am slapping self away from chips now)
She also got me more tv dinners... quick review for one.. a kiddie one that was all fingerfood... turns out it was 5 tiny chicken nuggets and 6 potato patty things shaped like smiley faces. Insanely cute but NOT satisfying. Not hugely tasty either. Bleh.. not getting again. Haven't tried the bacon cheeseburger things yet.

At least the chocolate i bought is hiding in my car.. now that it's cooler i'm less afraid to do that. Harder to eat if it's outside in the fricking cold!
System!
Blah!
I'm stuffed and yet still craving Doritoes.. nooo! *slaps self* am done for the night dammit!
Fuck 3am and I'm still unshowered. Am i gonna miss church again?
I intended to scrub my hair with my tea tree oil shampoo and try out Charlotte's hair spray on squeaky clean hair. My sample is small so i gotta make it count!

speaking of charlotte, I found an article on her: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/23/fashion/the-girl-with-the-golden-touch.html?_r=1

my fave quote is probably from page 3 tho: Ms. Royt, who has worked on seven collections with Ms. Ronson, said that she has urged her to make more runway-only “wow” pieces (known as “press dresses”), but she often declines. Stubbornly commercial, Ms. Ronson replies: “I don’t want to put anything on the runway that my customers can’t buy.”

happy sigh... yea she doesn't do weird looks that could not really be worn anywhere.. I do love that.
Heh tho her calling her posing in the Sephora vid "awkward" is also insanely cute. Sephora has that vid in their youtube channel and she does look a wee bit awkward... she's even more shy about the camera than Samantha is.
Both the twins hate being on camera, actually. Samantha's just had a bit more practice. Ok, a lot more practice, between living in LA and being shackled to a crazy mcstalky tabloid princess. anyway i wish i had more pictures of Charlotte. She's very pretty but she's also not stalked by the paparazzi. Sigh. i still want to do a twinpics post.. I'm getting there.

You know, Mich is not only a kickass writer... she's an inspiration. She got published! Self-published but ya know what? Samantha Ronson is self-publishing her album. Self-publishing is the honorable thing to do when you want to keep your creative control. George Lucas financed his Star Wars movies way back when (im talking about the good ones) and he was right to do so! He kept his control over his work and it was risky, but he won.
Self-publishing is probably the only way to avoid the "slight changes" various bigwigs would want you to make to become more mass-market friendly.
Fuck that shit!

I still daydream about having something published. I always just laughed these dreams off as impossibilities. But now someone I know has pulled it off.
Maybe it's possible?
You know.. assuming I can actually write?
Or arrange those songs I've mentioned? (it's hell of a lot harder than i thought eeeks)
Maybe it just feels slightly less impossible.....