in America it pays to be bigoted :(

I just found out the super racist, sexist, and homophobic "Duck Dynasty" family and their bigoted fans basically won their PR war and A&E has caved to the call of money and is keeping the show on the air.
Yea yea the merchandise plays the hillbilly thing for laughs. I work with hallmark cards, i've seen what they say.
It doesn't change what Phil said in his GQ interview, or that the others backed him up in that.

http://www.celebitchy.com/341424/ae_has_lifted_phil_robertsons_suspension_duck_dynasty_will_go_on/
All links are in the comments of that article. I'm not linking to that shit from my blog, but Celebitchy is pro-equality so i don't mind linking to them.

i will link this tho:
http://www.businessinsider.com/states-where-you-can-be-fired-for-being-gay-2013-4
I live in a state where it's legal to fire me for being gay.
Go America.
*sigh*

i do nothing with my spare time

I am still here. Hours at work went up cuz of holiday shopping. Work is now open til midnight every night until xmas (retail has no concept of Christmas) so ugh. And I had to work thanksgiving too. And otherwise I'm shopping! Some Christmas shopping, but mostly shopping for me. The xmas gift sets are such great ways to try new things!
Hi, my name is Honor, and I have a makeup addiction. I spent about $50 each on my Bro and his future bride... and way more than that on myself. I just don't have a lot of people to shop for. Immediate family only, and sometimes not even that. We grew up poor so gift-free Christmases were (and are) not unusual. I got a lipstick for Mom and gave it to her already cuz like I said Christmas is not about presents in our house. I took an old beloved lipstick of hers to Sephora and tried to match it. I got pretty close. The Dior lipstick I found was a bit more shimmery but otherwise a good match. Ofc Mom freaked at the price and yea $31 is insane for a single lipstick (I tend to stick with the value sets where I get 4 lippys for about $25 or so) but Mom goes through makeup so slowly it will take her 5 years to use that Dior up. And ofc now I want a Dior for myself. Or a YSL just because the tubes are pretty. Like wtf is my problem? Those major$$$ lipsticks are all packaging! So little product in those thick heavy tubes! And it doesn't help that Sephora mailed me a "get $20 off your next $50 or more order" card. Omggggggg......
Michiru (Sailor Neptune) has a cosmetics addiction so I guess that's the one thing I have in common with her. I don't think the anime mentions her love of makeup though. I think it's the manga, or maybe one of the artbooks. I don't remember. It was cute though. I do remember in the manga she used her Deep Aqua Mirror as a regular mirror to put on lipstick. I found that funny. All we need now is Haruka using her Sword to chop vegetables. I think in the first Ninja Turtles movie there was a scene of Casey using Leonardo's sword to chop something, so it's not that strange an idea.
Omg that reminds me! I found some kickass Firefox addons that let me dowload off of youtube! I now have all the Japanese Sailor Moon episodes squeeeeee!! The subtitles often had to be dowloaded in a separate file but it all works. I have this thing called VLC on my computer and it plays both video and subtitles at once. I just have to manually tell it which subtitle file goes with which video. It took a few days but now I had ad-free copies which is sooo wonderful cuz the person who posted them was running like 4 ads per episode, and they were the loud talking ads too. So annoying! And excessive! He didn't even make the vids! The hardworking fans at Sailor Moon Center did! Unless he was donating his ad money to them then he had no right to run that many ads. Anyway....
I also dug out that Benefit Cosmetics advent calendar I bought last month. And yes I'm being good and only opening one door a day. It's oddly fun to have an advent calendar again. Ofc some items are duplicates that I already had, but not all. And either wayi haven't used anything yet. I figure Christmas Day will be when I empty it and take it apart. The. Box is solid. I'm hoping I can find some clear plastic or something and make a jewelry tray. I might wear my jewelry more often if I knew what I had! I think most of it is typical childhood stuff that I'm just too sentimental to let go of, but I do remember some nice pieces buried in that jewelry drawer. I just need to get the grown up pieces out of the drawer to where ican see them! I've been trying to test the Benefit eyeshadow primer but I keep rubbing my eyes before checking progress. Though it seems no one makes an oil mattifier that can handle my greasebucket forehead. My forehead looks like it's melting right now. Oh! And I bought my first retinol cream! I chose Philosophy's Help Me cream since it seemed gentle according to reviewers. Did a patch test on a thin skinned spot of my stomach and no irritation. Lately my stomach makes a better test spot than my upper arms. Probably because I keep banging my arms on crap at work but the stomach stays undamaged.
Have I babbled enough? Yeesh...I just go on and on and on. Just like my insane makeup collection! Good night!

makeup babbling

Ok so I got sick thanks to Mom being contagious, and I had to work anyway, so I've been out of it the past 4 or 5 days but yesterday and today I've been in that horrid spot of where my body is all "don't get up, don't be vertical, don't do anything or else" and my brain is all "omg I am so bored" so today I have been sitting in bed with a pile of cheapass makeup on one side (cuz my good stuff was in its proper corner and being upright was dangerous) and a pack of makeup remover wipes on the other.
And I've just been watching makeup vids on my phone and practicing various looks. Here's the one I'm watching most recently: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps7CCjpP1Pw I like it because it shows a little bit of everything. Contour and highlights, and she mentions products that I actually recognize. I even have some of them. I have a Tarte lipsurgence crayon and I do love it. It goes on smooth and soft and has a slight minty cooling feel and a slight minty scent. And it's so moisturizing! . But I recognize every product she showed in that vid.
I also watched videos that use liquid foundations to do their contouring. Whoa! But as scary as those vids look, that's also what I've had the best luck with. Somehow I don't have a good contour powder. All my bronzers are either too shimmery or too orange or both. Or they just look muddy no matter what. Probably too yellow. But I have a lot of foundations from the old marykay starter kit that absolutely don't match my skin tone. But somehow when used as stripes under my usual foundation...magic happens. I'm getting the hang of this! And I also found out that the ugly Presumptions R Us mineral sunscreen that turns me Casper-white can be blended to make the beige foundations light enough for me. This is great to help me use up my stash.
the last look I tried before the sun went down (I always do foundation in natural light) was that cheapass sunscreen (hiya Casper) then streaks of a dark bronze foundation (darker than what Beyonce would wear) on the sides of my nose and hollows of my cheeks. And then I painted on a beige foundation. About 2 shades darker than my natural skin tone. And something about this combination is just great. The sunscreen lightened everything up, the bronze turned into gentle shadowing, and the beige suddenly matched my neck. I must have done this blend like 8 times before I got it. But I got it! I have successfully recreated this blend twice. But ugh my face! Makeup wipes are great in a pinch, but nothing compares to a good scrubbing. I think I'm getting a pimple on my chin. Anyway now I'm practicing eye stuff, specifically the shape she does in that video. I've seen that eyeshadow shape in other videos and I just can't get it.I'm not lining it up right or something. Ugh. Physically I'm tired. Mentally I'm wide awake. I work again on Friday. Why do I only get sick on my days off?!?

Wow posting from phone = errors galore. Must fix last entry sometime :(

i can haz junk?

And the womanlies started! Oh. Yay. >:(
So I am being a piggy mcbingey with a bigass bag of cheetos, a bag of assorted hershey minis halloween mix, and a package of triple double oreos. What diabetes risk? What family heritage. Factors? Pffft gimmie junk food!
And on top of that Mom has infected me with whatever was making heer hack her lungs out. I have the sore throat now. So I am in bed with my cat and water and fleece. This sucks. No cleaning. No drawing. Just headach and cramps and junk when I'm awake.
I did make that sephora order before I got sick. I got the Benefit Cosmetics Advent Calendar. Squeeee! It should arrive tomorrow. It's my first Advent calendar since elementary school. I've already tried a few Benefit brand products and liked most of them so here's a change to try a lot more. Cuz this advent calendar does have cheap chocolate, it has sample size makeup! Heehee! I haven't decided if I'll be good and open onne little door a day during december like intended. I was pretty bad about the childhood chocolate advent calendars too... altho once the plastic was removed the cheap chocolate didn't taste as good after a few days, so there was that.

And ofc I'm already looking at other fun gift sets that are really just gifts to myself cuz retail therapy and I'm selfish. Altho to be fair Mom is already saying she has too much stuff. I asked her if she wanted anything in this year's marykay order and she said "no way! I haven't even half used up what I already have!" And she doesn't wear makeup so she still has that huge Color Workshop makeup kit someone (her boyfriend?) got her years ago. And she still has the 5th Avenue set I got her last year. Oh! There's this old lipstick she loves loves loves and marykay stopped making it years ago. Called Cantaloupe and she loves the lack of shimmer and how it's a kind of slight orangey brown. She's had it for years. I think Fresh Sugar liptintedbalm Honey might be a colormatch. I have a tiny Honey from a giftset I bought myself last year to try the Fresh tinted balms (I love them... buttersoft and have spf) and I want to keep the Honey cuz I like it too but I can still use my mini to check the color matching. And then i'd just get her the fullsize tube. It's something I know she wants (that old lipstick is nearly gone) and it. Won't overload her cuz it's replacing. Something she uses and it. Has spf and ugh I wish she'd wear sunscreen more often! Dunno about anyone else... Christmas was never much about gifts in my family. But I want to get something for Mom cuz.... Mom! Oh and she still pays my bills.
But the best gift I could give her would be the gift of not worrying about me. So why am I still sitting on my ass about writing? I've got a better chance at success there then I'll ever get at Presumptions R Us. Bad me! Stop being lazy! Ow, my throat!

Oh hey, question for legal peeps... Samantha did something thaat has me confused and a bit worried. Remember how I said eventually I wanted to make string versions of some of her songs? Well a fan of hers uploaded her Live with Kelly performance to youtube. And when a few days ago I went to watch it again youtube had the video unavailabe due to copyright notices by Samantha. She got it taken down over copyright. Even tho it was her own live performance on a show she was guest on. And I'm confused if she can do that to my cover? Because when you perform on someone else's show.... doesn't the show own that copy of the performance?
am I making any sense?

when *Mich* says you havent posted in a while.....

....you know you really lost track of time!
Hi all! I'm good. Wasting time as usual. Did you know there were Sailor Moon musicals?! Sera Myu and they have some serious cuteness! I haavent seenn a whole musical yet... just fans posting their favorite scenes. Many are of Nao and Yuhka, who were a highly respected & beloved Uranus&Neptune duo. They played off each other really well. The fandom websites also claimed a song, Destined Couple, was specifically written for this duo. I've been reading through the old WikiMoon archives a lot. There was even a live-action Sailor Moon tv show! And ofc I totally missed out on the dolls and toys. I want a Uranus and Neptune doll pair waaaaa! *sigh*
Anyway as I was sying I have just been wasting time. When I'm not looking up Sailor Moon stuff I'm reading dumb celebrity gossip or window-shopping on sephora website. They're starting to post their xmas gift sets and omg want! Even tho I really don't need..... want!! So I'm telling myself that if I can do something productive during the day I can shop that night. Yeeaaa we'll see how that goes... but I did clear out my makeup corner again (which showed me yet. Again that I do nnot need any more) so maybe I'll make one order for like 1 large giftset (free shipping at $50 so I aim for smallest amount over 50) and I've already decided what the first order will be. But I better make it soon! Probably Sunday night. I work this weekend but not Monday so I can stay up Sunday if I'm not too tired. Shopping from my phone is problematic. I should probably get a new phone but I love this tiny phone so much! I'm totally ok with shopping from the computer... shopping from my phone would just mean I spend more money that I don't have! I need the restriction of an older phone!
Oh! There was also a work development... possibly. For the past 2 weeks now, coming up on week 3, I've been moved to the greeting cards section instead of makeup counter. I am totally ok with this. I don't have to deal with idiot customers as often, I don't have some damn sales goal, and the greeting cards are considered a speciality section so I'll also be harder to replace. The problems arehow there are no maps of the section, so I play it by eye, and when cards get mispalced (which happens every 10 minutes cuz customers are assholes) there is no locator program so I can't scan a card and get its location. So again w playing by eye. And if some dumbass fat coworker throws away a card's reorder slip? It's fecked. Yea... fatass coworker did the cards before she went on medical leave and I took over. Now that fatass is back she keeps sticking her nose into my aisle.
If all I do is cards now then yay because it's less stressful (when fatass stays out anyway) so here's hoping this works in my favor. Last week I finished the cards early and found something else to do... the scanouts on the candy aisle. Princess Nepotism "does" that aisle so ofc it was a mess. I hadn't done a scanout in years so I hope I did it right. Can't be worse that her though. She doesn't even scan the empty slot. She just puts the sticker on it. She doesn't pull her section of the stockroom either. I swear her daddy being a manager is the only reason she has that job.
There is also a chance that more favoritism, maybe even racism, is going on. Our longtime senoir makupgirl is black, and she's been there about as long as I have. Well there's a new girl, an older, very white girl, who seems to be on the fast track to take over that senior makeupgirl slot. This older white chick was never scheduled to be front register...and everyone starts up there. I did, the current senoir makeup did, even Princess Nepotism did. But not this chick. I thought maybe she was a transfer from another store and had the seniority to dodge up front.... but then I had to show her how to prinnt signs and price tags and even do her training videos. Basically she knew nothing about the work computer. So how could she be a transfer? So I need to keep an eye on that. If my friend is leaving of her own free will then that's one thing, but the younger black coworkers have indicated that that's not the case.
What the hell. Shit like this is not supposed to happen. But then people get harassed for being gay too so why am I surprised?

ow.....

My taste buds love Chex mix. My intestines do not.
Ow..... pain and gas and pain and stabbing pains and did I mention pan? Combine that with the tail end of womanlies uteruspunches and I am not comfy. Ugh. I think it's because there's so much air in chex mix and if I gulp it down I gulp air too. I have a similar reaction to popcorn. Lol my body is more ana than I am.
I've now read thru all the Haruka/Michiru appearances that Mangafox had in their Sailor Moon section. The anime definitely had more cuteness. Oh my girls are still very. Obviously a couple. But the teasing I like so much is mostly anime. Which is kinda strange since Haruka is never a cold character in the manga like she initially is in the anime. Ofc Haruka's coldness at first (in the anime) is caused by her trying to psych herself up to find the Talismans hiddenn in pure hearts even though taking the Talismans would cause the person's death. Haruka's pain at knowing she's required to murder... she hurts. She hurts a lot. They both do, but they have to save the world.
In the manga there is no need to find the Talismans. The Outer Senshi already have them, and always had them. Utanus and Neptune are still gruff about warning Moon to stay out of the way, but that gruffness is undercut by Uranus outright kissing Moon when they first meet while transformed. And in civilian for before they've figured out each others' identities Haruka even tugs on Usagi's hair. So there is some cuteness. I just wanted more. And the anime definitely has more Haruka/Michiru cuteness. A lot more. Let's see if I cann copypaste one even tho am on phone..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKUm58dkk9A
here's hoping I converted it away from a mobile addy correctly. I think the clips are fansubs. They match the subs I've seen and I think all subs are fansubs right now. I'm sure Peri can tell if the subs are accurate ^_^
ahh I wish I knew Japanese. I suck at languages.
today was day 1 of a much anticipated vacation. Or "stay-cation" rather. I wanted to get my fast. Few vac days before the holidays hit because no one's really allowed to leave once the retail-holiday-selling starts. I'm thinking I should double down on my writing and try to get enough words for adsense to work. Then I can relaunch my site with whatever I have to post, even if it's fanfic, and start seriously aiming to be a writer. Even if it's fanfic, I have to start somewhere. And didn't Smallville start as Superman fanfic? Because they sure changed a lot! And I read somewhere that this horrendes 50 shades of gray shit started a Twilight fanfic (wtf who writes fanfic for that shit?) So clearly it can be a starting point.
And yea I hate twilight. I have nothing against the actors. It's the characters thaat I hate. Bella is so damn blank. And stupid. And even though the story basically revolves around her, she's not very active. I swear it's all about who she's going to date. Buffy had a world to save. Bella is just blank. They should not even be in the same paragraph.
I need to try to sleep. Maybe my guts will calm down. I need to catch up on blogs too.

i want hugs

I'm unhappy. Hating work. It's been hell. A new dumbass coworker has been late multiple times and she's so stupid she actually called me up to change the paper in the cash register. The receipt tape. Yea cuz the picture on the printer wasn't enough *headdesk* combine that with her being 4 hrs late today so I was up front and got nothing done..... ugh. She was an hour late on her first day. Then there was a no show and work called her and she was all "I didn't know I had to work. I'm out of town." And she's got 2 days next week scratched off already cuz she's "not available". Ugh. And the older lady got canned after being drunk on the job so I get to handle the greeting cards aisle. Fuck! Ok...tthat would be ok if ALL I diid was the greeting cards..... since I am still expected to run up front and get makeup sales... yea I'm unhappy. Dumbass constanly interrupting doesn't help. Had another food stamp abusing fuctard come in and by 25 2-liter bottles of soda pop with food stamps. And nothing else. That's all he bought. And when I tried to eenforce corporate's limit of 10 bottles per household (or. Whatever cuz you know assholes will just send in different family members) then he threw a fit & got threatening and when he got his way he belittled me saying I'm bad at math.
The food stamp program is supposed to be used to get healthy REAL food in the hands and mouths of the poor. How the hell is Pepsi and Mountain Dew healthy? If I were to try to start a movement for welfare reform to remove soda pop from the food stamp list, would anyone care? Too many peeps seem to think that food stamps belong to the stamp user. Here's the thing.... money belongs to those who earn it. Meaning us taxpayers. Since the money was taken from us & given to the food stamp users then why can't we change the food stamp acceptance policy? We're already setting limits by not allowing food stamps to be used for toys and gaming systems.
food stamps are not earned by the user. They're earned by taxpayers and given to the user in hopes of keeping the population healthy. And wine and energy drinks can't be bought with food stamps so why is soda pop ok? It's sugar and water and artificial junk and caffeine. It's a cheap and low quality energy drink. And I'm tired of my taxes being wasted on junk by these lazy assholes. Get a damn job.

I've been drowning my sorrows in chocolate and Sailor Moon. Some very kind individuals have put the original Japanese episodes up with english subtitles. So I finally got to see Haruka and Michiru (the awful american version called them Amara and Michelle) as they were meant to be. Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune are a lesbian couple, and a damn cute one at that. The evil american version tried to make them cousins, and butchered their dialogu to hide the truth, and deleted scenes. If you know my youtube acct I faved my favs ^_^ so I could easily find the ones that made me go Awwwww the most even if onmy phone. Once I'm on computer again I'll post some links. I haven't found all the episodes but I found most of the last 3 seasons so I got enough to realize Haruka and Michiru are freakin adorable. I'll never watch the american version again. I want to learn to draw those two so I can add to the cuteness. There are some cute fanfic on fanfiction,net that I actually want to try to draw. Hah! Like I could possibly be an illustrator! Pffft wake up, Honor!
It's just that my own fanfic ideas are so visual. I'm jotting them down anyway, to see if I can figure out how to paint them with words. I do love writing, but Star Trek is easier to write than this! Wtf?! Perhaps because so much of Sailor Moon is visually based.. ever seen the cartoon? They spend way to long showing the transformations. The manga is just as visual. Huge two-page spreads per explosion. Big pictures showing new powered up costumes. Is it wrong that I prefer the anime? In the manga there is clear devotion bbetween Haruka and Michiru but the cute bantering seems to be missing. I haven't found any yet and I've gone thru half of what Mangafox has posted. My girls are there, but the cuteness is missing. In the anime the girls are teasing each other and making each other jealous sometimes. I am glad to have found the english-translated manga. It answered some questions and gave me a bit more to work with. And sometimes it has a very different storyline. But I want teasing cuteness!
ok I should try to sleep. At least my schooltime schedule is back so I will soon have days off. I must spend those days doing something. I've got 2 comic ideas that need fleshing out, a Sailor Moon fic outlined, and I have an empty notebook to maybe try my hand at real anime style drawing..... just don't ask to see it *blush*

Rest in peace, dear Tor

Lost another one today. i am sad.
Last night after the visiting dog was taken home.. mom noticed the pretty cat nicknamed Your Highness was acting strange.
Today, my brother came over unexpectedly (good thing my bedroom door has alittle hook so i get warning on those hot nights i sleep in nearly nothing) and he found Your Highness lying in my bathroom in a puddle of his own urine :'(
Tor would never have done that if he was well.
Off to the vet he went. Turns out his kidneys had completely failed. i mean completely. Poisons all through his blood. Mom thinks he hid in my bathroom to die.
And he wanted to die in my bathroom. he found going to the vet, fought the vet looking at him, fought everything.
Which is why i'm always nervous about taking a sick animal in. Can't animals die with dignity too?
So yea... I miss him. He was so full of personality. He made his displeasure very clear. he tore off wallpaper he didn't like and he knocked down half the fake ceiling in the basement. He also broke two lamps during his life.
He was only 11. And i kept forgetting that because he acted so much younger. He was King of the household and he made sure all the other cats knew it.
My baby Ryoshii is 12. Amazing how healthy she is. Sometimes I wonder if it's because she has developed a super-immune system thanks to living in my super messy room
I'm gonna go play Sims and eat chocolate.

superwoman!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3JGqRejaO4
Am on phone so here's hoping I edited that correctly.
Superwoman's newest vid is sooo funny! Maybe that's because I also have those shopaholic tendencies tho. I wanted to shop soooooo bad yesterday/last night but I played Sims instead and redid their house like 3 times. I haven't been completely lazy tho... I did finally finish a comic but I haven't done the commentary or the coding yet. But baby steps are still steps..... right?
Sooooo tired right now. Was having issues with the cellphone not lettinng me pay my bill so I had to use the real computer and since I hadn't registered before... it was one huge headache. But Allure magazine is doing the big August giveaways and they're timed so I gotta be up by noonn my time to even have a chance.
Ugh I have tried out for soooo many giveaways the past few years. Like 100s of giveaways. And I've won 3 or 4 items. 100s of giveaway forms for 4 items? Yea.... cuz it feels like shopping but it's free. I only do the freebie ones. Thus far I've won a Sally Hansen cream blush, a Redken texture spray, and a kickass Sultra straightener with heat spray and leave-in conditioner. I guess I thought it was a curling iron when I tried out for it. My hair is already straight! I kept the leave-in conditioner but gave the straightener and heat protect spray to Bro's girlfriend. She has very curly hair and loves that Sultra. So it's still getting loved ^_^
There is a Sultra curling iron listed in this month's giveaway. I read the fine print this time!
I just love makeup and hair stuff. Probably because they always fit, no matter what my weight is. And makeup is fun. I can make myself look different. The glasses limit just how transformative makeup can be, but I can still hide the dark circles and red nose and make my lips stand out.
gah I need sleep.
Dogsitting again. Not for dad... for a girl Mom babysits for during the school year. This dog is way too energetic. He's a lovebug tho... he's just too damn hyper. Wish I could get him on a treadmill to burn some of his energy off! The cats aren't very happy either, but he's been here before so the bravest 2 cats are starting to watch him from afar instead of just hiding.

period-brain sucks

R says the girl with depression got back together with her ex, so I'm still loveless. Tho I can drool over Ronson without guilt, so yay for that.
Dumbass/Princess Nepotism is taking yet another vacation. I swear it's like her 3rd one. How the hell does she have that many vacation hours? Her daddy is a manager at Presumptions R Us so maybe it's blatant favoritism?
Damn monthlies started. I slept all damn day Friday to where Mom was like "are you alive up there?" But sleeping through the worst of the cramping was nice. So I feel drained as usual. Between womanlies and work my brain is not functioning well. I even forgot my cellphone. I left it in my pyjama pants so I had no phone during work.
And the damn period-brain struck again with a homeless lip balm like thing that I couldn't find where it went and I had to put other stuff away so it went in my apron and then I forgot it. Oops. It has no home tho and now that it's here I feel bad for the thing (it's just a lip balm... it doesn't have feelings, Honor....) cuz work will just throw it away and and I want to keep it. Ugh.
Damn near took the work keys home too. Luckily I have one of those security tags on the work keys so when I beeped everyone laughed at me & I remembered to put the keys back.
Stupid period-brain.
I got my non-glitchy old Zelda cartoons running on repeat cuz they relax me a bit. I still haven't written or drawn anything new. I have been stuffing my face with Cheetos and my biggest weakness: Reeses Chips Ahoy. They are chocolate chip cookies with mini Reeses peanut butter cups in them in addition to the chocolate chips. Sinful sinful yum.
Am also trying to pay my cellphone bill on my phone but it keeps sayins my credit card is expires and when I try to update my card it says "cannot process request. Try again later"
Sigh.

I got stuck working 7 days in a row, then my 1 day off I dogsat for daddie dearest, then another 4 days. So yesterday & today are my 2 days off (when did I become fulltime? This sucks!) So ofc I slept all day yesterday, played Sims all night, and here I am still awake. I have done nothing worthwile thus far. No drawing or writing or music. Bad me. And right now I need sleep. I miss having recharge time. It is hard to be creative when I feel drained. But I'm going to have to find a way. Because what if work doesn't go back? I can't spend half my time off playing Sims! And work's pressure is only going to get worse, even if I do go back to part time. Now that the total sales at makeup counter are up, they're pushing to get a higher percentage of makeup/skincare/hair type items. In addition to the high totals. Sigh. I am actually being told to look at people with dollar signs in my eyes.
I have got to get out of there....
it is better to be poor and enjoy my work.
So I must somehow find a way to be creative and inspired even when drained from work.
*sigh*

attempting an experiment...

I just made a test youtube video and i'm trying to figure out how to upload it.
Please note the test vid is crap. i pulled my long-suffering viola out and played a few bits without practice, by ear. Also if the volume is up you might hear my cat whining in the beginning. i dunno. i heard it when for some reason the volume was uber-high when i first threw the wav file into Movie Maker. i made some fast MSPaint bitmaps to just throw into Movie Maker.
And somehow the last 3 seconds of the wav file got cut off. no idea how that happened.

Hmm... apparently Youtube has video editors? or something? I have no clue what I'm looking at.
Ok.. there's the "drag and drop" upload thingy...
ok it says it's uploaded.
pick a title.. and a pic to represent my sad little test in search results...

Ok.. apparently there's a review process or something?

they're telling me my vid will be live at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqNLAz-BUY4 when it is ready to be watched.
I am amused at the BUY4 that is in the address. There's nothing to buy here.. but plenty to laugh at!

"We have detected a way to improve your video's cropping."
That doesn't surprise me.
I don't know what I'm looking at.. so when in doubt "Revert to original"
I mean.. i intended it to go up as is cuz i don't understand the online editors and i've heard that online-edited vids will get changed sometimes if youtube coding changes. So in theory staying as close to the original "raw file" as possible will keep it as intact as possible.
In theory...

so yea... ok

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqNLAz-BUY4

that's supposed to be the test vid's location. Let me know if it shows up.. if you can hear it... basically if it works. I swear the volume is crazy. It was insanly loud when i put it into movie Maker, but soft when i played it on Media player. And my youtube preview had it at half volume. So i don't know what's going on.

And i'll worry about adsense for youtube some other time. Current goal is to figure out how to post.

testing continues

And I have been very bad girl and stayed up all night again. Why didn't I post from computer? Moron... anyway I was looking for an audio extractor that could turn my keychain camera's avi into a wav or mp3. I found one, a freebie (thus far no catches) called Pazera and it worked on the internet computer. Now I gotta install it on my bedroom computer. But I'm sooooo tired.... I want to sleep. Gotta at least stay up until my laundry is in the dryer tho. Much as I love hanging laundry outside, we got thunderstorms forcast and no way am I gonna be awake to pull the clothes in.
Grrrr... I gotta find that adhesive drawer liner paper. My white t-shirts are all yellow on one side!
Heehee.... while looking up the weather forcast I saw a link for old fashioned swinsuit pics and even farther back.... the "bathing machine" heehee! I'm so glad I didn't live in those times. But I still like the clothes.

I collapsed at work today. It's been several years since my period suunk my blood sugar that fast but it did happen a lot when I was younger. Of course it didn't help that this bigass black dude came out of nowhere, cut in line just to tell me i'd disrespected his mom or something and that if I "ddidnt learn some respect" then "next time he wouldn't be so nice". That's exactly how he said it too. That he wouldn't be so nice next time. How is that not a threat? I don't know where he came from. He didn't check out in my line. So he scared the crap out of me & left me shaking & combine that with already being sick with some damn womanlies issue... I shook like I had Parkinsons and my legs went out. The Team Lead practically had to carry me to the office. Team Lead is a really nice guy. He bought me a water & a snickers & let me sit in there til my hands stopped convulsing. I couldn't control my arms for a bit and I was very dizzy. But at least the bully was gone went I came back out.

I'm kinda embarassed about it now. But I was ok the rest of the night. I hope I can recognize the bully if he comes in again. I want to avoid him.

WHOA!

So I transferred some of the keychain cam's videos to the bigger computer to experiment with sound editing and holy crap.. i have video! it's grainy video that is slow to focus... but it is video, it is in color, and it does auto-focus. i guess my ancient 18GB computer just can't process something that the bigger computer can.
*sigh*
moving on.. since i'm on the computer i'm off to youtube to show you my fave Superwoman videos.. cuz SHE ROCKS.. and i saw the little rainbow heart youtube put in their banner. Awwww!!

moving on....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklGfqDXgVs
the people are Gay video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rX5PsXf2Gw
All ages parties (so funny!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7o4uDXft_pU
How girls get ready (which i am sooo not guilty of.. ahem)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2VhqjVkL-0
Girls on Periods

i started my period today @#$^$#%^$#%^@#$%@#$!!!!!

i hate this!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdJyRo8_VGU
Why I can't sleep at night (lol)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRFbtcXBd0A
Difference between brown girls and white girls
"Hold my bindi!"

And i got a lineup here... youtube automatically linked a playlist when i checked out her latest vid direct from her channel. Coolness. Looks like I'm busy for the next several hours ^_^
And maybe i'll find the video that i remember where she says "yes, Jessica lives in my boobs."
And wow i'm seeing old favs again.. ..and on and on......

And I'm remembering how much i hate the talky ads. They are so much louder than the videos!!!

In other news.. Ana Regzig posted again!! WOOHOOO!! She's been put back on the Juice Feast by her trainer, and she's pointing out how clearly her job is going against what the "doctors" told her to do again. And she'll let them duke it out while she sits in the corner and grins. 2 weeks food-free. Wow. And i've got blood gushing out of me and i'm in pain and i seriously want chocolate. Maybe i could do one week, next week? I'd still do my protein shakes ofc, but one week doesn't do much damage. I've had horrid stomach illnesses for that long. I just really like the idea of being part of a group thing that she does. And just like Howard Wolowitz once said about his mom doing a hunger strike..... it's be months before I was in any danger. I dunno.
I think i'm just so damn unhappy in that awful job that I'm looking for an outlet. And my brain isn't wanting to do anything that requires being coherent. At least the Motrin kicked in so i'm not bent over double. No, now I'm just tired, brain-fried, and really not wanting to work tomorrow. My limbs have turned to lead.

Ok... i did do 2 actual things today... I renewed my Lucky subscription.... and I found and downloaded the free editors Wavosaur and Audacity. So yay there.

Good night.

stressed!!

I am so sick of that damn job! They are moving me up front one day a week. I'm so unhappy! And I'm unhappy for the same reason as always..... employer is focused on the wrong thing. All they care about is how much total dollars I ring at cos register. I could ring a few gift cards and they'd be happy. And that has me unhappy because I'm not being recognized for my talents and strengths. I suck at doing my own makeup, mainly because so much has to be done without my glasses and I just can't see. I can give myself a pretty china doll mouth but I suck at everything else. But I'm good at making others look good. And I like to make others look good. It makes such a huge difference when a woman likes what she sees in the mirror. At least we here all understand this, but I don't think employer does. Presumptions R Us sucks sweaty monkey ass.

My other stress is once again I'm having technical difficulties on the music making front. I figured out how to use my keychain camera.... but movie maker won't let me combine 2 sound files into one. That's a problem. I wanted to record myself playing the melody, then record playing the harmony, and then combine those 2 tracks into one. Movie maker says "no!" So I'm needing a sound editor. Talked to Bro. He says I could use his copy of Soundforge. We also talked about some of the free editors I Googled, specifically Wavosaur and Audacity. He's heard great things about Audacity, but Wavosaur was unfamiliar. I'm really attracted to Wavosaur simply because the reviews I found said Wavosaur was tiny, less than 500KB. So I could run it on my bedroom comp. I'd so love to be able to do as much arranging as possible on my bedroom comp. I get more privacy and don't have to fuss with headphones.. although now I think of it, I will need headphones while recording cuz my timing would be best if I could play the harmony while listening to the melody track. This could be a problem. My ancient bedroom computer doesn't have a headphone jack. Crap. Cuz only my room can be made a cat-free zone and my kitties tend to be noisy. So recording in here is the best location in my house. *sigh* so tests & research is ongoing I guess.

Strong chance I could get called in to work today. Fatass keeps calling off. She has called off for at least half of her workweek for 3 weeks solid. Sometimes she calls off every day. And it is *beyond* frustrating. I spent all Sunday at the front register cuz fatass called off. So ofc my cos sales were shit. I wonder if those damn reports even show when I'm stuck up front? Probably not. Those fucktards expect me to do the work of 5 people. I should totally be capable of replacing an entire staff. Assholes. And double asshole on fatass. She keeping complaining of arthritis in her knees and she just wants to sit in the office for her entire shift. Ok, so yours truly is about 190lbs right now. Fatass is twice as wide as me, and like 2 inches shorter. She's like Violet Beauregarde (did I spell that last name right?) After Violet blew up in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Fatass is all fat. Gee, I wonder why she has knee trouble? And now she's bitching about how she doesn't have all the paid time off she "needs" and is saying she'll work and then she calls off after saying she'd work. It's just.... damn it , bitch, take a few weeks off to get it together. Stop punnishing the rest of the store.
I should try to sleep. I hope I don't get called in, but I probably will. 3 weeks of calling off should have some sort of repercussion.

this could be good....

I'm feeling kinda cautious but.... I might have figured out how to work the old keychain camera. It still doesn't record video for me but I think it wants to install something before it would show video. Cuz in the sample vid on Thinkgeek the keychain recorded in black and white. I don't need video tho. I just need sound and this little keychain records sound fairly clearly.

What I did was use that ancient mic and old Sound Recorder to talk about what I was doing with the keychain as I was doing it. So I have about 20 mins of me jabbering. Then I plugged the keychain into the computer and lined up the sounds & pics with my jabbering... and I think I know how to use it now. Hooray!! Must take good care of this! I did keep the box so it has a safe place to rest.
Wow the sound difference between the mic and the keychain is sooooooo obvious. Lol I tried to take pics but it's hard to aim the thing. There's no viewfinder. I also discovered that the keychain seems to delete files automatically once it's been plugged in. So I'm gonna have to really be on the ball when using this keychain. What's funny is the keychain dates the pics as being june 1 2010 umm.... hahaha! Oh well, I don't care. For now, for today, I am very happy. I need to make a little perch for the thing and figure out best placement for recording. Thus far it seems the best spot would be roughly where the middle of my music stand would be if I were using a music stand. So about level with my nose, about a foot away...with my viola having its holes facing the device. I still don't know how my playing would sound but that's a test for another day....or night. I was up all night again.. I also need to figure out Windows Movie Maker. I'm also gonna need to make some space on my hard drive. Uninstalling Sims would free up some seerious space. Sims is being very glitchy and I'm concerned that my computer is getting strained by Sims. This old computer is the only one I have access to that can see my comic's custom colors. I haven't played Sims in months and I seriously miss it. But I have to keep my old comp going as long as possible. And Movie Maker is gonna be a strain too... although perhaps I could run Movie Maker on the other computer? The other one is only about 12 yrs old. It's the one that ran WoW.
I don't know what to do. I so badly want to record and draw and everything in my room. It's quieter and I don't inconvenience Mom and her fave shows at all. And I like the privacy!but if I must, it would be less embarassing to do the music in "public" than to make my comic and stories.
My voice amuses me now. I used to hate it. Now I find it funny. Though I still don't like to hear myself singing. I think my singing voice is twangy. But my speaking here is funny to me.
Ok anyway I need sleep. I am very late getting the fathers day card to daddie dearest cuz I slept all day yesterday and now I've stayed up all night stopping & starting recording & running my tests so dumbass me is probably gonna sleep all day again. And I also need a shower before I go over there. And I also need to learn Movie Maker and practice my playing.
Anyone know if Lindsey Stirling is gay-friendly? I know Superwoman is... do a youtube search for Superwoman People Are Gay and her video should come up. I also like Superwoman's Girls on their Periods video and her How Girls get Ready. As is her All Ages Parties video.

Well.... the good news is the ancient mic does record....

The bad news is everything it records sounds like it's coming through several feet of wool or something.
Sigh. Being poor sucks.
ok think... could try this old mic on the newer computer... and didn't I used to have a headset? Yea, a mic and a single earphone headset that I used when playing WoW. I wonder what happened to that?

discovery!

So when I go to youtube thru my phone's browser instead of thru the app, I am signed in to my youtube acct! Cuz my youtube is attached to this same gmail that this blog uses. It was just easier that way. Apparently I can't leave comments on videos unless I go google+ and I dontt wanna. But I can mark vids as Favorites and I can subscribe woohoo! So if anyone is curious my youtube name is Evilwhitecat9 and yea it's a reference to an old Ronson thing, we all know I have a slight crush or something so let's move on.
I wanted just plain evilwhitecat but it was taken. Maybe that was an old acct of mine that I lost the password to? Well whatever.... evilwhitecat9 it is now.
I haven't uploaded anything but I'm now subscribed to Superwoman and to Mich, and I have a few favs. Tho not every one seems to be showing. Oh well, what do I expect for such a small phone browser? My poor phone does its best. It's not a Droid!
I had to work today so I'm hurting. Feet really hurt, a constant ache with occasional stabbing pains. Ankles not happy. They keep making clicking sounds as they hurt. That's probably not good.
I can almost reach the ancient computer mic I need to test if I can record anything. The mic is older than the computer I'm gonna plug it into. This could be fun... ... ... yea...
Nothing else much doing. I'm just hoping to find some way to make some simple music to upload to youtube. At the very least I owe Peri a Rohan theme.

the post i thought i made...

Am I the only one who thinks I posted something but turns out I only dreamed about posting or I came up with the idea but never actually wrote it? I was sure i'd done the fangirl squeal at Ana Regzig having posted again in less than a month. I was also sure i'd mentioned calling off work for 1 day and sleeping all that day and the next. Today I feel slightly better. Still have the dry hacking cough, how annoying.
Woke up at frakking 3am today. Did a bit of cleaning. Found yet more candy and yet more makeup. Ugh. I need to lock up my credit card. Got some cute bathroom-organizer type things and used them for makeup. The tiny, clear drawer things are particularly cute. And stackable! But I barely made a dent. I got rid of one box but I still have the Sephora box and the just-for-work box and a caboodles tote and several mary kay totes and a couple bags of various samples I've collected.
I seriously had no idea my collection was this large. I might give Mich a run.
I just like makeup. It's fun! It's really just face painting. I even wear makeup when I'm just hanging around the house. I figure I can use the practice. I still suck at eye makeup. Mostly I'll just put a light brown on the eyelid and a really light shimmery shadow under my eyes. I wear glasses, and the shimmer seems to lessen the shadows my glasses create. There's also the inner corner of the eye. It tends to get dark in there. I put shimmer in there, usually a cream shadow, and I look more awake.
Jack Black makes great spf lip balms.
I just realized I'm still missing at least 1 eyeliner, a lipstick, and a gloss. At least. And an eyeshadow brush. I have issues.
Physician's Formula makes great spf face powders. I have no idea about their eye and lip stuff tho. That's hard to find in my area. Do they even make lip stuff?
My fave tinted spf lip balms are the Fresh Sugar lip balms. They're pricey as hell, but they go on like silk and butter and are soooooo comfy and smell like lemon and are soooo moisturizing. They melt easily tho. That's the one drawback. I got a Christmas set for myself so I have enough spf balms for this summer anyway ^_^
My fave gloss is still the minty Charlotte Ronson gloss, but it doesn't have spf.
Sometines I like the super glitteryness of Hard Candy makeup, but does it exist anywhere other than walmart? I've heard too many things about walmart treating women like crap. Has anyone heard bad things about meijer or Target? Meijer has everything I want *except* the Hard Candy. Google seems to think Target has Hard Candy. And I know target has two other brands I'm curious about (pixi and eyeslipsface).
Nooooo must not go shopping. I have too much already! Bad Honor!
I am so tiredddd.... why can't I sleeeeeep?

she posted again!

And I missed it! Grrr at self! About 3 days ago Ana Regzig posted a cute pic and I overlooked it cuz I was rereading my fav parts of EGS.
Sigh.
Between womanlies finally dragging to an end and a nasty cough Brogave me, I have been lazy as hell these days off. My Star Trek fanfic is a bit over 1000 words and I did a brief comic sketch in my notebook but that's it. Yea I have a comic notebook. It sleeps with me. I figure even if looking at a computer screen hurts or I'm just too lazy to get out of bed I can still try to brainstorm ideas & write them down. I do need to get up tho. I've drained all my bedside water bottles. Mom is annoyed cuz I've done fuckall this week. Her schedule is opening up now that the school year is over (cuz for some odd reason a lot of church activities are tied to the school year. You'd think there'd be more church stuff in the summer when the kids were free but nooooooo) so Mom's starting up her usual "it's summer cleaning time" which is soooo annoying. Cuz my schedule does not slow down in the summer. I tend to get more hours as the senority peeps use their vacation days. So Mom's all "let's clean!" And I just want to rest.
It's been a cool, rainy summer so far. 50 degree nights (USA still uses fairenheit scale... and did I spell that right?) And today's high temp was barely over 70. So my attic room has been very comfy this week. And work is doing new uniforms soon I guess. I was asked for my size. Ofc they did not give me a sizing chart to take with me so I could get my measurements checked. Noooo. So since my last work-provided shirt is labelled XL I stuck with that. It's easier to take something in than to let it out. And work doesn't like anyone wearing sweaters etc over the work shirt. So I need room under the shirt for winter layers.
Last week at work was so awful. 3 people called off on truck day, which was also the change the sale tags day. So truck didn't get touched til the next day. And then I had yet another shaving shit & deoderant reset! So I got no sales at all. Ugh.
Ok I should go eat something semi-healthy and then try to get another 100 words or so writtem.

fucking auto download links!

Why the hell do people who have websites not saywhen a link is to a pdf and not another html page?!
Fucking couldn't stop the damn download and my phone's SD card lost it's map so God only know what that damn pdf was written over. I probably lost my pics of my dearly departed dog by now.
Well I finally figured how to remove the card. And phone still works. Seems only downloads and pics I took with cameraphone (and vids) were stored on the SD card cuz all my bookmarks are still here. So the card is now in a tiny jar in my Charlotte Ronson makeup bag, which is the safest place for such a tiny thing, really. My makeup bags are all used to hold tiny things and in the CR bag I have an even smaller bag that holds samples. The card is in a clean sample jar in that tiny sample bag, inside the CR bag which somehow is the only waterproof makeup bag I have.
And it's gonna stay there till I figure out how to attempt a file recovery.
So angry right now. I'd been good about not downloading, not even pics of Samantha, and then that fucking link was to a pdf instead of a webpage and I couldn't get the download to stop.
Well no more downloads now! Accidental or otherwise.
Womanlies in full effect. Yuck. Got some nice freebies from work tho. Those sales event things... this time the sale event directions sheet outright said the demos were for me! For my personal "trial use" I got a toothbrush and toothpaste, and a coupon for a free small mouthwash woot! I kept the directions sheet just in case tho. Cuz carrying a full size toothpaste & toothbrush to my locker might look weird on camera. And under the counter I found a neon pink lipgloss that had "beauty advisor sample" in a big sticker superglued into it. I also claimed a small pack of those facecloth things for when I'm too lazy to wash my face (meaning every night). The pack was already opened (cuz of the sales event) but the seal is flip cap thing so it's pretty tight.
And I bought chocolate. Hey, I'm bleeding from the crotch and I want chocolate!

SHE IS STILL ALIVE!

Whoot! My blogger timeline is showing that Ana Regzig herself made another post 22 hours ago! What a wonderful lift to my day! I've been having bathroom issues all day. Bet the womanlies are coming. Ugh.
She wrote of her photo shoot that she mentioned in older post and talks about how she lives now. She's still in showbiz. Poor girl. If she'd been born rich like lena dunham she wouldn't be treated so badly by the industry. Lena gets to do whatever she wants and we all have to applaud her. Ugh. She has it set up so that if you don't praise her for stripping on tv then you're some evil body fascist or something. And she deliberatly wears ill-fitting clothes and if you don't gush over how she looks it's all "well you can't be criticizing my clothes cuz I'm wearing (insert expensive label) so you're just being a bully!"
I hate that bitch. She is all "I write a feminist show" and not only does a Playboy interview but do the "characters" on her show even like each other? With friends like that, who needs enemies?
I don't have to support her shit just cuz we both have vaginas. Her claim is actually a sexist claim. She's just selling sex. She shows that cringy awkward sex also sells. She's just another stupid rich girl who found a way to get applause for being naked on camera.

Moving on. I feel awful. I did manage a tiny bit of work on my shameless Star Trek fanfic. Emphasis on tiny. I think I'm nearing the 1000 word mark. Yea. 1 thousand. I was hoping for more but kept running to the bathroom. Ugh. While on the porcelain throne I did manage to read ALL of notalwaysworking.com and ALL of notalwaysromantic.com so there's a good idea how much time I spent stuck in the bathroom yesterday & today. Ugh... I wish I could just not eat until my internal plumbing got itself sorted out. But dizzy & fainting is no fun.
Found a new treat today though. Something called Bissli pizza snacks. Like windowpane shaped wheat things that are pizza flavored. What's nice is the pizza flavor is evenly distributed. No plain wheat with a sudden spice bomb that makes me choke & cough. I found it over in the kosher section while trying to find that gefilte thing Howard Wolowitz mentioned a few times. Dunno if I spelled gefilte right....doesn't look right. The stuff doesn't look very tasty either. Think i'd pass on the "turbriskafil" ^_^
Love the Bissli tho.. and ofc it says "kosher" on it which is when I realized...oh yea... pizza is not kosher cuz it has both meat and cheese. I never thought of that. Even if there's no ham or bacon or other pig-sourced meat.... it's still a mix of meat with cheese & so it's not ok. Wow. And what about shrimp? I love shrimp! But aren't they a form of shellfish? I think I'm gonna go stuff my face with milk and a cobb salad with bacon bits.
My brain keeps going blank.......blahhhhhhhhhh

Gee it sucks when my phone doesn't want to load webpages. Wtf did I buy a smartphone for if all I can do is text and call? A whole week of a not-so-smartphone. But whatever issues happened seem to be lessening. Am on phone web right now. It loads slow but still loads. And it wasn't just me cuz peeps at work who also have verizon were having service issues.
And ofc I'm too lazy to get on the internet computer. I want to blog in bed, not scrunched in a chair with cats trying to walk on the keyboard.
Anyway so here I am, lazy as ever. I was sick this past week. Dry heaves are no fun. So I slept and did no writing. Did nothing at all. Did not even play Sims. I just wanted sleep.
I really need to take my bed apart. The foam pad thing has slid all the way to one side and is starting to bunch up.
Work remains unfun. My feet and knees hurt. Been reading notalwaysright.com a lot. And did you know they spawned off spinoff sites? I'm also loving notalwaysworking.com cuz that's where we can vent about lazy coworkers and bosses and higher-ups. I'm also loving notalwaysromantic.com for some cute stories.
Not much to say, really. Just wanted to drop a line.

stuck in 2nd

I ate a donut last night & 2 donuts today which is probably why my body is punishing me with constant trips to the bathroom & stinking up the place. Something crawled up my ass & died. The cats want nothing to do with me. Really wish my bathroom wasn't basically a closet. The lack of ventilation really stinks.
Stuck in 2nd regarding my comic. Total frustration. Been thinking of ways to include more text for the bots to read (why can't humans do the approval process? A bot will refuse a site just for talking about nude lipstick! Which means I just kicked myself out! Ugh!)
So I'm thinking lengthier commentaries and posting fanfiction too, or something. There's that shameless Star Trek fanfic that started from me fantasizing about T'Pol and then just took a life of its own. There's that rough idea for a Harry Potter one. I could resurrect the Zelda fanfic I started at 16. Hell, if I can find the old notebooks I could even resurrect the old Sonic the Hedgehog I started at age 10! Yea, I've dreamed of being a writer since I was a kid. Funny how it took sooooo many years to actually try going for it. I'll only say that I'm a couple years younger than the Ronson twins. Because actually saying my age makes me feel ancient and even more like a loser for not trying to follow a dream until now. Sometimes I wonder if my best years are behind me & I just wasted them. And I feel really tired now. Another punishment for eating too much sugar.

I'm getting the Talking-Toos again. Sigh.
Mom is worried. She's being sweet about it this time... "my kids are the greatest and I know they'll change the world... but sweetie you're taking so long to change the world that I'm worried i won't be around to see it!"
Awww.. now that's the way to tell me I need to work on getting sh*t done.
Love the Momma.
R is going back for his Master's degree. it's not in philosophy ofc.. it's public health, and his gf is getting a double masters in similar field.
So yea.. me feel like loser. He doesn't ever try to make me feel bad. It just happens when I see how i basically dropped out.

it's just... my GPA is a damn anvil around my neck. I hate thinking about it!

Also at work yesterday i had the chatty coworker, who actually is nice and does her work but is kinda ditzy, tell me how she'd overheard bossman say he was thinking of pulling me out of makeup and putting me back up front. Cuz fatass had apparently had a real good day on her one day in makeup.

Yea, knee-jerk judgements are kinda common.
Today that same chatty coworker decided to call off, probably because she was scheduled up front, so i got pulled up front instead. For 6 f$#@% hours! Ow and ow. My ankles feel swollen.

So i came home intending to do SOMETHING comic-related. At least put adsense code on the comic's website.
And then it was... umm... can I? Would i get rejected for "insufficient content"? I mean besides only having 3 comics.... apparently the bots don't read pictures! So they'd just see blank pages. Crap!

Ugh.. i gotta go to bed. Still have one more working day. Then i gotta crack down on myself. I did ask a question about webcomics fitting into adsense in the adsense forums. So hoping to be getting some direction on that. Hostgator already told me they'd have no problem with my running adsense, and Project Wonderful, last I checked, had an FAQ where they said they had no issues sharing a page with adsense so long as the two ad types could be clearly told apart. Project Wonderful is not content-based ads so there isn't really competition there.

And in more fun news.. thanks entirely to my stuffing face with candy, I'm back up to being a whale with chronic heartburn.

Let's talk about something else... hohan did another "interview" where she kissed her own ass and the "interviewer" followed suit.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/event/article-2318388/Lindsay-Lohan-interviewed-Piers-Morgan-Seeing-Mums-face-I-turned-jail-worst-moment-life-I-cried-days.html

Oh, bullsh*t bitch!

But what REALLY pipsses me off??

PM Do you know what your sexuality really is?
LL Yes. I like boys.
Do you think you’re bisexual?
Not really. I like being in a relationship with a guy. But there’s something just different about it with a woman. When I was with Samantha (Ronson), I didn’t want to leave, because I didn’t want to be alone. It was very toxic. And her family controlled anything she did.
Were you in love with her?
I still love her as a person.
But were you IN love with her?
I think there was a point when I was.
So you’re probably straight?
No, I know I’m straight. I have made out with girls before, and I had a relationship with a girl. But I think I needed to experience that and I think I was looking for something different.------------------

YOU BITCH!!!!! Oh, so draining her wallet and breaking her windows and targeting her for your epic twitter meltdowns and calling the damn paps on her and having a pap-witnessed meltdown ON HER PORCH and stalking her through Empire West, then Venice, was all just somjething you had to experience?!?

Kiss the darkest part of my lilly white ass!
Omg i can't even.. that whole section has me wanting to knock out her veneers and break her surgically-reconstructed nose and see if i can bust those cheek cutlet implants. Cloven-footed twat! (she has a serious case of hammertoe.. and i hate myself for knowing that. i notice shoes!)

New topic!!
I have found someone epic!! A girl who lives in Toronto and has India ancestry (and some customs) and is very intelligent and FUNNY!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklGfqDXgVs

And i need to go to bed!

"the fat tax"

This sucks! Ssomehow I caught a cold! Coughing sucks and I've joined the ranks of the mouth-breathers. This makes working out harder. Why did I get sick? This sucks! I only hhave 4 pill days left & I'm still fat! The workouts are getting a bit easier to recover from tho, so I'm hoping that is a good sign. They're still hard to do but I no longer feel dead to the world for hours afterwards. Yay?
I noticed on Sephora.com the whole Charlotte Ronson line was on sale. Nooooooooooo! That tends to mean clearance! Sephora doesn't do weekly sales like the drugstores do. Sale means trying to get rid of it! Noooooo! So I dropped over $100 getting the Ronson things I knew I liked. Closer powder, lots of lip glosses, and the eyeliner set and selftanner and I even got the kit that had another Closer, and the cream bronzer (love!) And fragrance rollerball and that hairspray that smells odd on me but gives me great texture. I need to write her a letter. Mmostly begging to keep her makeup line even if she doesn't add to it. I really love the lipglosses and the Closer powder. The powder does a great job of hiding my small forehead wrinklies and the gloss is soft and moisturizing and TASTY it tastes like mint. A mild mint. I guess lemon mint is a mild mint? Or am I not sensitive enough to detect the lemon? Anyway they are tasty and yes my fave shade is the one named Samantha but that's not (just) because I have a slight obsession. Her shade is this gorgeous pale pink shimmer that makes my skin all glowy. It's just a perfect match for my pale complexion. So when I saw the whole line get marked down I bought 5 glosses and I don't care that they were $10 each I love that color! And I might well buy more. I don't want them to go bad before I can use thhem tho so maybe I won't buy more. But waaaaa I'm unhappy!

Moving on.... the "fat tax" has a few meanings to me. Paying for a gym membership and then not going = fat tax. Bro's gf has that as her fave definition. She goes less often than I do. She does want to go, but her job is a major timesuck. Another definition is when I pay $2.50 for 900cals of cheetos in the form of a 6pack of singleserve bags. If I had willpower I could spend that same 2.50 on 1500+ cals of cheetos in a big bag. But because I have to empty every bag I open, I must stick to the singleserving bags. Paying more because I have no willpower= fat tax.

There's another way too....bottom line is obesity has a price tag. Fat people, esp the morbidly obese, have more health problems. And when they can't pay for the health care, the hospital has to pick up the tab. Which means the gov has to have programs to help hospitals who can show financial loss because people couldn't pay. And where does gov money come from? Yep, taxes. So taxpayers all pay a fat tax that way. And food stamps are another taxpayer-funded gov program. Food stamps can be vital, I've been there. But if food stamps are only used to buy junk, and then the fattie gets the predictable health issues, then taxpayers get shafted twice over. 1st for the food stamps which the fat person wasted on junk, then again for the health care that was the result of fattie's decisions.
Talk about a fat tax!
I'd be curious to see a study about how many fat people are on food stamps vs how many are self-supporting. Don't people who work need at least some healthy food in order to do their jobs?
Also....there is a huge difference between being big-boned and being fat. There is also a difference between being curvy and being fat. I hate how fatties are demanding to be called curvy or big-boned because they don't want to face the truth. When you are wider than you are tall, you are not curvy, you are fat. When your upper arm puffs down over your elbow, you are not big-boned, you are fat.

Sorry for the rant. Fatass at work is a huge donut and she's always whining about her problems and weight and then she eats junk. And she bought it with food stamps.

I got to try coke zero yesterday. I liked it.

lazy bum!

Well well well....another week gone and I have only lazy daydreams to show for it. I did work on comic #4 it might even be done. I last looked at it on weds. Lost my flash drive again *headdesk*
Also used waaaay too much copy-paste while making comicc #5. I found the eyestrain glasses. Turns out they work by filtering out some of the computer screen's blue light. They are basically a light yellow tint. Which is great... if you don't need to work with colors. So I'm still screwed. I tried to speed things up with copy-paste but the eyestrain still kicked me. Eh. I've always done some copy-paste simply because doing the heads took so long. But this time I copied whole panels. And I still couldn't finish #5 before the eyestrain bit back! And I didn't go to Zumba! I did do 4 10min workout vids tho back on weds. And was soooooooo sore thurs and still sore today. And my pigging out has completely cancelled the calorieburn. My right shoulder is soooooo strained. There is no comfortable position. It just hurts. And my inner thighs are sooo tight I stretch them every time I move or I feel like I can't move. Here's hoping this means I did something right. Some muscle building.

The rest of the time was wasted watching old movies either online or from the huge case of dvds Mom has. I found the old Julie Andrews Cinderella found snippets of the old color Cinderella I remembered seeing as a kid. Estella Warren or something like that. She was good at showing Cinderella's deep sadness. These were both the Rodgers and Hammerstein Cinderellas btw. And I dunno if I spelled their names right. Also found one with Whoopi Goldberg as the queen and Bernadette Peters as the stepmother. Whoopi seriously did not get enough screen time. And that Paolo i-cant-recall-last-name was such a fantastic find! He was wonderful! The girl playing Cinderella was the weak link. Her acting was flat and her voice just wasn't there. I mean she was matching pitch but her voice was breathy and weak and easily lost. I also found a no-singing Cinderella that was very different. It had the lady from Romancing The Stone playing the stepmother and it was very interesting. It was a bit more modern..there were cars and guitars. And instead of a fairy godmother Cinderella went to see a sort of water fairy named Mab.
also found a few Snow White versions, including a terrifying one with Sigourney Weaver as the stepmother.

But my fave find was a version of Snow White that had the dwarves as little engineers who built robots and sought to teach truth to humans. And the court jester turned out to be the prince who married Snow White so she got to actually fall in love with him over time instead of just marrying the guy who woke her up. I need to find that version to buy! Or get my bro to somehow get a copy off the internet. I'd buy it if I could. I found my old childhood Christmas movies, didn't I? I found Nestor, the Forest of Burzee claymation Santa Claus movie the Burgermeister Santa Claus movie, the Rudolph one withe the island of misfit toys... I'm still kinda looking for the cartoon musical The Snowman but it was kinda depressing too so I dunno.
Ow, my shoulder.

oh dear...

Well, this sucks. My plants look pretty dead. I put them outside for a few hours on the one sunny day I had up here. Then i got like 3 days of wind and storms. The days are longer and slowly getting warmer but now the spring storms are here and no way those poor plants can go outside for another month or longer and it's gonna kill them. Thunder had my cats all scared. Well ok just the wimpy cats were scared. This is the first time i've been grateful for no dog.. my sweet dearly departed puppy would have been doing her damndest to climb over me all day and night.

Been thinking of putting them in my car. The car has more windows than my whole floor and there's a chance the good ol' greenhouse effect would keep the plants warm overnight. But only if there was sun in the day. Which hasn't been happening.

I'm having issues getting the bodyrock videos to run, but i can read all i want. Go figure. Probably has something to do with either the antivirus or the javascript-blocker. I suck at computers. Did find a few more youtubes to put on my other page. I'm really loving the popsugar/fitsugar videos. Most seem to be 10 minutes and oh wow am i tired at the end of just one.

In other news.. Sam Lupin has suggested that i may have a SLIGHT obsession with Samantha Ronson.


I have NO IDEA what she is talking about (ignore my tag list over there)

And i certainly don't have a huge folder on my computer of random photos of her.
And besides.. I only just heard her name for the first time the other day and had no idea who she was prior to yesterday

And  I certainly didn't know that she is rumored to be dating the lovely Lauren Andersen (who has worked for Madonna and is good friends as well as makeup artist for Jessica Alba and is apparently Avon's new Global Makeup Director or something...)

Also.. i am a super-skinny model who walks the New York, Paris, and London catwalks and i make well over a billion dollars a year. The world is envious of my very existence. Gwyneth Paltrow sees me as her personal guru. My hair is thick and gorgeous and i tan perfectly and i have never needed glasses or braces. I also have several gorgeous mansions for sale all over the world that i just feel bad holding on to because i never get to enjoy them since i am never in one place for very long.

Just sayin... ^_^

this is not convenient....

Did Mom's whole world take a week long vacation after Easter? I haven't had the house to myself at all! This makes doing bodyrock a bit hard. She's sleeping in her chair. And. The stuff she likes to watch uuuuhhhhnnggg..... law & order marathons, esp SVU the one that makes me especially stabby. It's easier when she's watching NCIS or Big Bang Theory or Bones. I prefer escapism in my tv. NCIS is too realistic sometimes, but I adore the characters so I can usually deal. Abby so cute! Ziva so hot! Is it wrong that I kinda want the to hook up? I think Abby was mentioned as being bi? Onward....I think Bones & Booth make a damn cute couple. And ofc I loooooove Big Bang Theory. Smartly written escapism yay! I think Samantha should do a guest spot on Big Bang....she's a computer geek. And she plays a lot of games. She often mentions Call of Duty: Black Ops.
I bought 2 plants the other day. Work was gonna throw them out. I had to pay full price too. And as I was paying a customer wanted to buy my tulips. Still not sure how I feel about that. How can you properly respond to someone picking up your plants as you are paying? There's no real way to not make them feel bad! Anyway the plants are in my room now. It's not very sunny but it's warm. We're still getting overnight frost but daytime can hit the mid-50s F. The joke in my town is we get all four seasons every day. Ofc that's exaggerated (don't think I spelled that right) but it is crazy how wildly the temperature can fluctuate. (That doesn't look right either. Ugh)
It'll be mid-June before I can safely put anything outside. I soooo want a pop up greenhouse but it can get windy here too. Mom's been watching/sleeping thru the hypothetical if-the-world-ends shows today which really doesn't help the worrying I can get caught in. Last time there was this super smart survivalist guy on tv and I got bad dreams afterwards and was all thinking I could maybe unhook my sump pump & use the sump as a well & build a water vapor distiller thing in the backyard but that would really only work in the summer. I'm not sure it could get hot enough to boil the water in winter. And what about my cats? And here comes the paranoia again.
I should try to get to Mich if the world ends. She's prepared!

must think of something else.....
Samantha released her music video for Summer of Sam. It's kinda cute! She also did an interview and she's soooooo cute in it! She also talks about how she wrote Summer of Sam. Mark was making her cry in the recording booth a number of years ago and she basically got drunk to deal w it and she got soooo wasted she had to ask the security guard how she got home. Once I'm on the computer again I'll pull them up and link them.
ooo maybe I should dig out the cheapo kiddie keyboard and start work on adapting her songs to my viola? Oh wait I still don't have a way to record. My phone's vidcam uses a format my computer doesn't recognize, the keychain camera doesn't tell me when it's turned on, so I'm stumped. My best bet is still the keychain since when it does record, it uses avi format. Ofc it only either takes pics or records sound. The video recording part doesn't work worth shit. I'd still start w something simple like Love Song. Hearing Summer of Sam again reminded me how Samantha uses very close harmonies and it's hard for me to hear all the notes she's using.. also.... I am not a rap fan. At. All. Blech! It is not a SONG unless there is *singing*! Or notes playing. No, a shitty loop in the background does NOT count! Blech!!
ok what else can I blabber about?
oh! Blohan's song "over" has been playing at work a lot lately. This annoys me cuz the "song" is damn repetitive. Then I started trying to come up with different lyrics. Parody lyrics. Like "I watch my face around me crumble, but it's not like I won't build it up again (you know she's had some sort of plastic surgery.. just look at her face!) And "don't you dare tell me that I'm overrrrr!" I don't have a full song, jbust pieces. But if I did have a full song could I post it? Should probably talk to a law type about parody laws. Weird Al makes a living off doing parodies but I don't think his parodies so directly make fun of anyone. Tho I wouldn't be outright lying about anything. Her face has changed, and she does court publicity and she has had constant legal issues. I swear she uses her court dates as her personal red carpets! So really it would kinda be like social commentary on a notorious public figure. But this bitch is sue-happy so maybe I shouldn't.. eh...
ok I should try to do at least one productive thing this week. Har har.

why science rocks

I do still pray sometimes... but i gotta admit science is pretty damn cool

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhqN39keSnE

and i stayed up all night again. I may be depending on caffeine.

Anyone ever try the Temptations by Jello cup things? I've got strawberry cheesecake and lemon meringue pie and i like both. Think I like the strawberry cheesecake more but i just love cheesecake so there's that.
Don't try these after having REAL cheesecake tho, because it will only show how fake these little cups are. But the lemon meringue one is like 80 cals a cup and the strawberry cheesecake is like 110 so there's that.
And I've basically been on a milk fast all day cuz I'm trying my damnedest to finish this gallon of milk up before it goes bad. i HATE wasting food! So after so much milk the change of these yummy little cups is niiiice. I like them!
Also tried Edy's Slow Churned ice cream- Mint chocolate chip flavor.
Mmmmmm! Must get that again!

I'm going to have to throw some chocolate out tho. When I was digging out my old gym stuff (I've been good about going to zumba each week and only missed this week cuz of Maunday Thurs service) i found some old chocolate... the Wonka stuff. 3 bags. 2 flavors, 2 bags of scrumdiddileyumptious (ugh that word is impossible) and 1 bag caramels. I tried them ofc, cuz i loved the Wonka. They didn't taste very good. Kinda cardboardy and sometimes salty or bitter.
Turns out they expired in 2011.
Oops.
So i do have to throw those out and I still haven't done it cuz i really just can't stand throwing out food. Not even junk food. I feel wrong and evil and wasteful and oh yea wrong!!!
Sinful even.
So the old old chocolate is still sitting in my room. I even try to get myself to eat a piece now and then. Can't.
But can't throw them out either.
This sucks.
Moving on...
Meugh.... still not lost anything and the countdown ticker continues. I do like to aim for the impossible, don't I? hey yea I can totally burn 6000 calories in a day (yea f*cking right!)
I do need to work out more often though. I seem to sleep better even though I haven't shown a loss on the scale. But getting my ass to the gym is hard for my lazy self.
And then a post over by Loveylou on her (very inspiring)blog gave me an idea.
She linked a little 10 minute workout video in one of her posts. and I realized that youtube is already in my house, that it is a huge resource, and i can get many vids (tho not all) to play on my phone up in my room.
And why the hell did i not think of this sooner??
Seriously tho.. she is crazy talented at getting nutritious meals together that are low cal. i need to learn to cook.
So i added 2 vids to my Cool Sh!t page so I can get to them easy. And I'll probably add more as i find them. Since these are to be mostly for home workouts i gotta find videos that use either no props (no machines) or props that i can approximate at home (could probably use a gallon jug of water for some of the dumbbell-weighted moves etc)


Also.... this dear old Hyperbole and a Half post is still soooo like me
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/03/procrastinator.html
I should probably go sleep some. Naughty as it is i've already decided to call off work cuz this milk fast thing did not make me comfy and besides i want to attend Bro's Easter dinner which he's doing on sat instead of sun cuz the whole fam is gonna be tired sun. Mom and Bro are gonna be in like 5 church services. Getting up at 6am for the sunrise service. So I'll probably work sun.
Ugh... i need out of that job.
Funny thing is again I've wasted my time off. I got comic #4 mostly done. Like 90% done. Got an outline for comic #5 but just the outline. I also told myself very sternly that this week I was finally gonna apply adsense codes to the comic pages. yea haven't done that yet. Ugh my tummy is not happy. And my eyes are complaining about how i've been staring at computer screen for way too long. I kinda want to stay up all night so i sound properly unhappy when i call in to call off. Which i plan to do early in the morning so they have time to find someone else (even tho i know they won't even bother cuz they're cheapasses) what has me kinda sad is the coworker i have such a crush on is also working tomorrow and my shift would overlap with hers but ugh... wow seems my stomach is gonna try to give me a real reason to call off. i mean i normally drink a lot of milk... but i'm up to half a gallon in about 6 hours so yea... overkill. and wow ok maybe if i just go lay down i won't sleep cuz it always takes my brain a while to shut down and get sleepy and i did sleep til after noon yesterday.

i can haz motivation?

Stayed up all night again cuz oh hai dumbass. I work today for presumptions r us as the easterbunny in work's photo promo. Which means going in earlier than I otherwise would.I got about 3 hours of sleep left and I'll be lucky if I get any cuz dumbass me slept way too late yesterday.
I also wasted my days off. Did a little work on comic #4 but otherwise watched tv and read gossip sites and browsed online shopping and lurked on Anonymous' forums. (Hey I like them) and I was so happy when I saw their threads on those steubenville assholes. I mean I suspected Anon involvement as soon as I read that a 12 min recording had been discovered where the victim was made fun of and the rape was bragged about. And then seeing how social media had been instrumental in bringing the rape coverup to light... oh yea Anonymous was there. So I found the threads and saw their outrage & hard work digging & mirroring and no way all those anons were women so again male feminists were working towards ending rape culture. There were even discussions on that. The few who did the "yea but she was drunk" were shot down. At least one anon came out as a former steubenville resident who had had something similar happen to her and that such coverups were the norm. Anonymous is still watching that town. There's still active threads keeping track of anyone threatenning the victim and keeping track of any other coverups.

But back to my extreme laziness... I did zumba, laundry, and a bit of work on comic #4 which has been sitting unfinished for yonks. This is not logical. Work is riding my ass about cos sales again and even threatening to take me out of cos. And that awful job only brings me about $800 to $1000 a month. I've read that a website with decent reader numbers and ads running could generate that same amount and I wouldn't have to pressure people to buy anything. Granted I would need a lot of readers. One website said getting 3 cents per visitor was actually kinda high. Wow and wow. But still..... free to read comic. It's a lot easier to ask someone to just read something for free than it is to get them to buy yet more stuff they don't need.
In other news, daddie dearest apparently promised to pay off Bro's old cellphone account in exchange for labor and getting Bro on daddie dearest's account plan, which I guess got daddie dearest a write-off or something. Well daddie dearest did not fulfill his promise & now Bro has collection agencies after him. Is it wrong that sometimes I want to be a millionaire just so I can finally have the power to make him SUCK IT? To get the court officials to see how much furniture daddie stole? Or the child support he never paid? Or how he married the lawyer he used against Mom and how daddie's dad paid for stepmom's law school? Altho I guess maybe stepmom didn't represent daddie in that...it just feels like she did.
And why does my right nipple hurt so much? It feels like it's on fire or something.
Anyway..... yea I'm wondering why I don't have any motivation lately.

Note to NeoHippie: hi! For some reason your blog shows as the full version instead of the mobile version so I can't comment but I was able to read most of it. Rapists should have potato peelers taken to their dicks and dull plastic sporks taken to their balls and then they should have to eat their own boyparts! Death is too good for them!

Gypsy Rose does rock ^_^

cheap ass scale!

Am really pissed at my scale right now. If I stand according to the diagram, I'm 188 but if I just movve my heels together without changing anything else I'm suddenly 191. Grrr! That's a huge difference! And unless mass can spontaneously appear out of nowhere it seems logical that the heavier weight is the more accurate. Just how the hell do these electric scales work?
Got an idea....I'm gonna put a gallon of water on the scale and slide it around.
..... as soon as this blasted cat stops climbing all over the scale. He seems 13.2 lbs. And now he's 13 exact. But the water gallon gets 8.6 no matter where I put it. I guess the heavier objects just confuse the scale more? I think I should keep my heels together. Or do both ways and record the range. As long as the overall range goes down....
Ugh I miss the big old fashioned slider scale daddie dearest had when I was a kid.
Gonna meet the fam at a zumba class later. Having diabetes in the genes has freaked Mom & Bro out so we & Bro's gf are all trying out zumba later. So I need to go find my gym stuff. Later.

oh hai PMS

Pain and cramping and unending Piggy McBingey were finally explained today as traces of red showed up. Ugh... already? Oh wait... it's been about 25 days so yea I'm kinda due. i swear my cycles are only about 23 to 26 days long. So annoying!

I was 189 still when i woke up today (today meaning feb 28 as it's now 6am on March 1st cuz bad me) which is actually amazing considering all the hormone-urged pigging out i did the past like 3 days running now.

In a sad attempt to keep my mouth away from chocolate, i pulled up the old fashion swagvids... they got some Spring 2013 runway vids now.
And I promptly got really mad at the designers....

armani prive haute couture ready-to-wear spring 2013 in paris i think... holy hell those models are anorexic! i can tell by the very pronounced shoulder bones. fuck you armani for insisting on those poor models being so thin! you refused to hire anyone who wasn't dying!!

Elie Saab models don't look quote so bony. some do, but it still isn't jumping out at me quite as much. still insanely thin but it also looks like some of them could just be really young girls who are doing the whole rapid growth spurt thing where your metabolism really is just that fast. I was once that thin, and after the abusive situations finally went away and i started eating normally.. i was still very thin for a few years. teens to early 20s can be that thin and still be healthy. wish i had enjoyed those years more. Too bad i was so ashamed of my looks and my body back then. i looked pretty good for a twisted spine and glasses and braces. So thin! Pixie like.

Sooooo sad about Alexander McQueen. When he died, his label basically went with him. I would never have worn anything of his anyway, but I could still see a strange beauty in his pieces. Like something a fabulous villain in World of Warcraft would wear.
Now? Now the whole label either copies something vaguely Gaga-esque or tries to be "inspired" by some slightly horror-movie-ish clip. Bees? Flies? Ugh.

Miu Miu has me thinking of overdressed doctors trying to impress. But the "music" sounds like club meets attempt-at-classy-on-mushrooms. I am confused.

Louis Vuitton Spring 2013- Oh look! It's Kerli's Playhouse! and yea this does make me think of Kerli. Very strange but kinda innocent-strange. Also... escalators? On a runway? Where was this set up?
Paco Rabanne spring 2013- clubwear. even club music. and holy crap that model is all bone.
This is the world that poor Ana Regzig works in. is it any wonder she has an eating disorder? i think it's required in fashion. ugh!

Vivienne Westwood-... what.. the .... hell.... i don't get it. in what universe is this "ready to wear"? is this supposed to be a hot mess version of different ethnic groups? Why the black paint on black models and white paint on white models and don't get me started on that HAIR! And damn these girls are bony. Walking skeletons. Oh look... the "designers" who demand stick thin models but are clearly fat themselves. That pisses me off. Designers should be forced to be as small as the models they hire. This is fucking insane. it would take about 8 models to fit in just one pant leg. Maybe if designers had to wear their "designs" we wouldn't have models dying from eating disorders!

Valentino- not bad. Kinda like some of the dresses. the music is kinda pretty, doesn't sound like club crap. The girls don't all look ready to fall over.

Saint Laurent- yet another clubwear look with club soundtrack. i guess "edgy" is in vogue again? or is this guy trying to poke fun at witches and androgyny?

Jean Charles De Castelbajac spring 2013- club music again. and more clubwear, right down to the makeup. Club clothes meets resort? some pieces look interesting, but nothing looks all that comfy or timeless.

is it me or has fashion, at least in some ways, (or maybe it's just some "designers")become just about being disposable? You buy clothes and wear them for a few months and that's that. Where is the "vision" in that? Why would you identify with a collection if it's meant to be thrown away? What happened to the concept of good quality clothes that last for years? Why would anyone want such a disposable way of living?

Chanel- i like the little cropped jacket things, well they look like cropped jackets but maybe they are just visual tricks. I have a little cropped jacket i got from a Fair Trade organization called Gypsy Rose a few years back. I like that look of a cropped jacket over a longer sheath. it seems to minimize my deformities. But what is up with those clear Frizbee hat things?


And I'm bored..... skipping to New York Fashion Week Spring 2013.... where is New York.. I see Milan fashion week vids.. wow Cristiano Burani has some damn bony models too.. didn't Milan ban anyone below 18.5 BMI from being on a catwalk? I see that didn't last long. ... .... ok.... i see more movie sh*t... ok some New York... where is Charlotte Ronson??? I know she presented.... she's not in the swagvids... what the hell? And now London vids? WTF??? I'll have to find her on one of the big fashion sites where everything loads so damn slooowwwwww for me. Crap.

off to browse at sephora.com then cuz I'm broke so of course I want to buy yet more makeup that I totally don't need. Oh hey Charlotte's line has two new sets. Oooo and the sets are of full-sized items. I bought her Perfect Nude set, even tho i've only tried the lipgloss (pretty color, so now i have 2 of her glosses and like both) and now she has a set with yet another gloss that i don't have, and the 3x a Charm luminizer/blush/bronzer thing, plus the usual eyeshadow (tho again one I don't have) and eyeliner (don't have) so yea here I am wanting it. Cuz I totally need it (no i don't)
The other set has her cream bronzer, which i have & love, and her Closer powder (also have & love) and the hair spray I tried and was  mostly in love with cuz it did give my hair such good texture. But the nice beachy smell in the bottle turned weird & old-lady-flowery on me. Which is weird, because the matching rollerball fragrance worked great on me when i tried it in store. It smelled like my old childhood beach visits, one of my few happy memories being with Mom and Bro and mom's friend (who was like a crazy loveable aunt to us) on a beach on a big lake and the rollerball was all sunscreen and salt water and happy associations. So i dunno why the hair spray doesn't smell right on me.
And i'm thinking of getting that set too. i know i'll like 3 of the 4 items for sure so... i dunno.
Gah! Bad Honor! I AM POOR I NEED TO STOP DOING THIS!

I need to go to bed!