I am soooooo gonna regret this tomorrow.
Been having monster chocolate cravings. But I've been good about getting rid of the candy to other fam members.
So the only chocolate is those yummy oats and chocolate Fiber One bars.
I had 4 before I managed to slam the brakes.
who needs saltwater flush with a binge like that? I am so gonna feel like hell later.
Ugh actually the fiber must be expanding cuz now I feel uncomfortably full.
And this was after snacking on frosted mini-wheats like they were cookies.
I am gonna regret this.....

Tho it did keep me from dropping more money shopping online. Wtf with the shopaholism lately? Sign of bordeom? I have been housebound but kitty is doing well so hoping I can at least take a walk tomorrow. I mean my first order hasn't even arrived yet and I'm already looking to spend more? Bad Honor!

Anyway... so... accountability. I keep hearing how accountability is the key to success. This blog community rocks. I'm sooo happy to know I'm not alone. I don't feel like quite so much a freak. Don't feel as isolated. I haven't used this blog to be accountable tho, and it's my fault I slacked off there. You guys and gals all rock! So am gonna try to get my weight out even tho I'm still ashamed. Accountability! Telling someone else about weight loss efforts and goals was proven somewhere to make weight loss happen. Doesn't make that first step less scary tho.

A few days before I started this blog I was 173. I would sit reading Ana Regzig while stuffing my face, wishing I had her willpower. I had found her blog while looking up the models who died from anorexia complications and she named Ana Carolina Reston on her site. (Tho I prefer skinnyness myself, I don't like how models basically have anorexia forced on them in order to keep their jobs. Ana Regzig often talked about feeling the pain of losing a job to a skinnier girl, so yea I think fashion and entertainment do shove girls into eating disorders... moving on)

So started at 173. And last week i'd gotten down to 156... but I'm climbing again. And it's my own damn fault. I have not been counting calories or carbs. I have rarely exercised. And I have hidden my lack of progress even from myself. Combine that with a screwed up sleeping pattern and yea... I'm unhappy. My vacation is passing by and I'm sitting on my fat ass and making it fatter.
This stops now.
I gotta try to sleep.
And try to figure out how to get my stats on the side.
And see if I can run K's tea party website on my phone. Cuz dunno where I might be when teatime comes.